Part 1) My Brother Is A Deranged Deviant Get Me Out Of Here (MBIADDGMOOH)
"No way" declares Alexis stubbornly as she folds her arms.
"But Miss Rhodes" protests Crowler flailing his/her/it's arms dramatically "you'd be the star of the show, the talk of the day, the belle of the ball" he winds down to pause for breath.
"There's no way in hell you could convince me to wear that costume" Alexis snarls her left eye twitches slightly.
"Oh dear" sighs Crowler "I really didn't have to resort to this you know, but you leave me no choice" she bursts into a full blown evil maniacal cackle "Bwa Ha Ha Ha Ha…" Crowler throws back his head and lets her evil laughter fill the whole of Duel Academy.
Cut to Slifer Dorms, Jaden's room.
"C'mon Sy" Jaden says Jaden "it's only Crowler again, don't worry nothings going to happen to you" he smiles charmingly at Syrus who is cowering and shivering under the bed (a space that's only about 9 cm high) how he'd managed to fit in such a small space hadn't occurred to Jaden but was confusing Chumley as he mused on it over a grilled cheese sandwich.
"He's most likely just come up with another plan to expel me, isn't that great" Jadens enthusiasm was mildly disturbing he was even doing a little tap dance of joy.
"Mwa HA HA HA HA HA!"
Zane was standing at the docks on the pier by the lighthouse basking in the tranquility as a light breeze wafts past, tugging at his hair, his eyes closed when Crowlers deranged cackling reached his ears, he opens his eyes reluctantly but refuses to look back.
"Either Crowlers attempting to get Jaden thrown of the island again" Zane says aloofly "or Alexi is in trouble"
While everyone on the island listened Crowler's cackling…no wait that sentence doesn't make sense, bear with me……ah got it…Everyone on the island heard Crowlers insane cackling except for Chazz…that's better.
Chazz was having a lay in with his earplugs so he never heard a thing.
"Of course I accept the honor and title of Duel King Mr. Kaiba I'm the best" he rolls over onto his side "Oh Pamela, Pamela, of course I will marry you Miss Anderson"
Bastion Misawa winces "how can I concentrate on proving the quantum mechanics of theoretical particles when interacting with anti-electrons in the anti-matter/strange matter interface if I can't get any silence!" he yells as he drops his marker pens to cover his ears.
Breathing in and out deeply to remain calm Bastion has an epiphany "If I reverse the polarity of the neutron flow while compensating for spatial drift…Eureka! I've found it" he grabs a fresh marker pen wincing that the only colour left was pink and starts scribbling madly over the few clean walls left at the Ra dorms.
Chancellor Sheppard jerks theatrically in his seat in his office dislodging the newspaper that had been muffling his snores "Wosat, I'm not drunk damit I'm on medication, I.." his exclamation dies as he realizes what the noise is "Oh, Crowler I've warned him…her…I've warned Crowler about this before" he studies an extremely long list tacked to the wall beside his desk, it ends in a pile of pages all tacked together on the floor leading up to the first page "Ha it clearly states in the rules that the Vice-chancellor and or head of Obelisk blue dorm is not aloud to burst into maniac laughter unless it's a Monday Morning in September and the year ends in a 0, 4 or 7 and Scotland have won the world cup" he smiles and rubs the back of his shiny bonce "I'll make…Crowler write out 'I must not cackle like a madman while Chancellor Sheppard is slee…trying to concentrate' ten thousand times" he finishes smugly.
Back with Alexis she takes a step away from Crowler and then another step. Crowler stops his full blown evil cackling and takes a deep, deep breath while wobbling a bit.
"I'll give it a Seven" Yugi announces as he appears out of no where to stand to the side of the room behind a long table with a placard saying 'judges' on it, a sign on the front of the table with a large red X on it has been crossed out and 'Insane Idol' has been scribbled over it in felt tip.
"Six" says Tristan sitting on the far right of the table.
"Creepy" Tea sitting to the left of Yugi shivers and Yugi places a comforting hand on her shoulder and a wandering hand on her knee "spine chilling, she shivers again and discreetly removes Yugi's hand "Eight"
"This guy's the worst I've had to listen to yet, I didn't like Kagemaru and Sartorius was a soprano in a scarecrows body, as for Viper he was just awwwful not to mention ugly, but this you come on here dressed like some gay clown and scream like a yodeling yak!"
"Joey this isn't a talent show" Yugi reminds his best friend.
"And no matter how much you want to be you're not Simon Cowell" Tea glares at him huffily.
"But Sh…" protests Joey.
"And stop calling me Sharon!"
"Just give Doctor Fruit loops here a mark out of ten" Tristan tells his long time best buddy.
"Ngg five" Joey to the right of Yugi and the left of Tristan rests his head on his arms sulkily.
"Three" Bakura at the far left of the table says thoughtfully, rubbing at the red hand mark that marred his features (given to him by Tea when the spirit of the ring took over and groped her, still Yugi and Yami were all set to kill him and would have if A) the spirit hadn't relinquished control so that Bakura took the pain of having your face smacked red raw and B) Tristan and Joey hadn't have held him back.)
"Three!" exclaims Crowler "three?"
Bakura's hair flairs up as his face takes on a dark sneer while a demonic edge replaces his angelic features and the spirit of the ring takes over.
"You're not a patch on Marik or even Pegasus for that matter, and as for myself you couldn't beat me if you tried, oh year you did just try and fail" he sneers.
"Come on Dark Bakura" Commands Yami, taking over from Yugi "its time to return to our own fan fic" he leads the group away through a door and out of the fic.
"Don't order me about Pharaoh!" snarls dark Bakura as he follows them from behind pulling a large jewel encrusted knife out of his pocket as he does show "I still have one shot at the pharaoh left" he mutters smirking.
"Okay that was weird" comments Alexis "Oh blast" she chastises herself "I didn't get Yugi's autograph"
"A three!" howls Crowler distraught.
"Well I'll just go then" Alexis says as she makes a brake for the door only to find her big brother standing in the way, she quickly twists round to follow Yugi's group but finds the door they used has vanished in its place is a solid wall "wasn't there a door there a minute ago?" Alexis asks out loud surprised.
"Maybe, maybe not this place is a lot like Hogwarts" Atticus smiles dazzling Alexis who shields her eyes from the beam
"How?" she asks "is Duel academy full of underage wizards"
"No of course not, it's built on an ancient Aztec burial ground" Atticus explains rolling his eyes 'really did he have to explain everything to her?'
'Of course you don't' thinks Alexis snappily.
'Well it seems like it' replies Atticus.
'You didn't move your lips and I'm not even talking' realizes Alexis.
'Great isn't it' Atticus preens 'we have a psychic connection' he claims.
"No we don't" says Alexis hotly.
Atticus concentrates for a few seconds, before admitting "alright we don't, damit I want to be a psychic, I want to be a super powered up super human, and I really, really want X-Ray vision god damit" he howls.
"Alright Atty I'll go find Zane and see if he can help you, I'll be back in a bit" Alexis tries to squeeze past but Alexis grabs her by the shoulders and pulls her back into the room "Hold it right there Sissy" commands Atticus.
"Atticus!" growls Alexis warningly.
"Hey I'm going as Blizzard Prince, Jadens going as, well I'm not really sure but it looks cool, one of those cute first years is dressing up as the Silent Magician and I've heard rumors that someone's gonna show as an Injection Fairy Lily" Atticus actually starts drooling.
"I don't know whether to be disgusted or disturbed by that" comments Alexis
Personally I don't think it was an either/or choice.
"But we need a big show stopper" Crowler pulls herself back to reality "And we just so happen to have a large selection of Harpie Lady costumes that would fit you just perfectly"
"I'm not dressing as a Harpie!" Alexis growls ominously.
"Oh you will" Atticus tells her as he mimes stroking a handlebar moustache "unless you want tonight's amateur video on Academy TV to be Alexis Rhodes a lifetime's humiliation"
Alexis's heart skips a beat "I warned you" gloats Crowler "I won't take no for an answer"
"You" splutters Alexis "You wouldn't" Atticus smirks, folds his arms and leans back against the door frame he raises an eyebrow clearly saying try me "yes you would you bastard!"
"You know" Atticus's eyes glaze over as he thinks "that would make you a…"
"Atticus!!!"
"Senior Rhodes please remain focused" Crowler was uncomftably aware that his latest minion wasn't altogether there.
"Huh? Oh year, every pratfall you've ever made, every fashion disaster, bad hair day, not to mention the naked baby photos and the gawky adolescent vids like that one of you in your first bra"
Alexis visibly cringes and blushes bright red "alright!!" she screams "I'll do it"
"You will?" Atticus sounds disappointed "I was hoping to at least get the school play video you know the one where your skirt falls down in front of the whole school on 'Better watch out Akiro's about'"
"I'll be a Harpie Lady if you destroy all the evidence" Alexis states quickly.
"And have nothing to emotionally blackmail you with in the future nothing doing, but I can promise you my lips are sealed as to the puppy incident" he frowns "that was sad wasn't it?" he continues "your life's highlights will stay under wraps, for now, until the next time I need to blackmail you into doing something" he sends her a beaming smile and bounces out of the room.
"God I can't believe I actually wanted to find him" sighs Alexis giving in to the inevitable.