Yeah, anyone who knows me well enough knows that I write a lot of funny stuff when I'm drunk. This is no exception. Tiny little bits of slash in here (Sorry, I'm a die hard slasher) but it's mostly just humor. Hope y'all enjoy. I might add more to it I might not. I dunno...
Things I will not do while watching The Covenant...
1) I will not repeatedly drag my best friend to the theater five hundred times to see the movie. (Sorry Christina.)
2) I will not jump up and down and scream "Woohoo" when the opening credits start.
3) I will not bitch and yell when people tell me to sit down and be quiet.
4) I will not make my own assumptions about what the four of them are REALLY doing off camera.
5) I will not say my assumptions out loud.
6) I will not point out evidence that supports my theories, ex: Tyler wearing Reid's jacket near the end of the movie.
7) I will not cough and grunt "Boy touching" when I see any of them grab and hang on each other
8) I will stop pointing out the fact that both Chase and Pogue keep competing for Caleb's attention.
9) I will stop laughing my ass off when I see Pogue pout because Caleb's talking to Chase
10) I will not make fun of the incredibly small size of Pogue's Speedo.
11) I will stop calling Pogue the new champion in the How-low-can-you-go-pants category.
12) I will stop pointing at Chase an insisting that I thought him everything he knows.
13) I will not roll my eyes and yell "Oh my god, just fucking kiss already" when Caleb and Reid start their little tiffs.
14) I will stop referring to Kate and Sarah as "Random Bitch Number 1 and Number 2"
15) I will stop voicing my theories that Kate and Sarah have something going on.
16) I will stop pointing out the fact that there's a bulge in Tyler's Speedo in the scene where the four of them are sitting by the pool.
17) I will stop pointing out the fact that it only appears after he looks at Reid.
18) I will stop calling Gorman Obi-one, Home Slice, Papa G, Mac Daddy, and Spook.
19) I will not claim that my Mustang is better then Caleb's...even though it is!
20) I will not slap my ass and ask Caleb if he wants a ride on a REAL mustang.
21) I will not grumble about Mustang's not having a decent backseat to have fun in five minutes later.
22) I will not laugh when Pogue glares at me for flirting with Caleb.
23) I will not tell Chase that Caleb cares more about Pogue then Sarah and to readjust his strategy.
24) I will stop pointing out to Chase that Caleb's power is overrated and that Tyler's are much better choice.
25) I will not laugh when Chase throws the giant jell-o blobs everywhere.
26) I will stop pointing out to Caleb that Pogue has more fangirls then him.
27) I will not inform Pogue that Reid has more fangirls then he does.
28) I will not break all of their hearts by saying that Tyler has more fangirls then all of them put together.
29) I will not dig the knife in deeper by claiming that Gorman has them all beat in the fangirl department because he's a pimp.
30) I will not point out the fact that if Gorman's a pimp, then the four of them are his hoe's.
31) I will not ask him which corner he has Tyler working on.
32) I will not insist that Gorman has a better pimp cane then Lucious Malfoy.
33) I will not tell him to bitch slap Chase with it.
34)...or Sarah.
35) I will not buy the movie and re-play it 5 billion times in one day. (Sorry mom.)
36) I will not get drunk and write more stuuuupid junk like this.
(Gets hammered ten minutes later and breaks all vows.)