Together
Author's Notes:I haven't updated my fanfictions in so long! If anyone is still out there I am so sorry. I don't even have an excuse, I really want to finish all my fanfictions and after this one shot (unless I'm really inspired) I will probably not do many more. But to make up for my complete lack of presence here is a One-shot for Bellarke from 'The 100' a TV show that everyone should watch, it's amazing! MP16 x
Despite today being one of his assigned days off Bellamy couldn't help but worry. It was his job to worry after all as a guard, general consultant for the Chancellor and unofficial leader of the majority of the delinquents in Camp Jaha. He hated days off, they allowed him time to reflect, to regret and to miss people, and that was something that he psychologically couldn't afford. Bellamy's worry stemmed from the present feeding situation in camp. Intensive periods of drought over the best few months meant that the chances of starting a successful cereal crop were failing and although Bellamy new the hunting and gathering personnel were capable of catering for everyone he still couldn't help feeling frustrated. Earth didn't seem like the place where life could ever be conceived as 'easy'.
As Bellamy knew he couldn't do anything personally to help the situation he shuck this worry temporarily to focus on the job in hand; sewing up the hole in his canvas tent. It had been a stupid and rash impulse to slash the slit in the canvas last night but the air had been so hot, ballooning around him in an oppressive way as he had desperately tried to sleep. Slashing the tent had provided him some relief for the night but he knew practically it wasn't the best idea, and once again regretted his sudden outburst of frustration as he accidently jabbed the needle into his thumb following a violent stitch. Sighing Bellamy through the needle out of his hand and watched it dangle pathetically from the few stitches in canvas. With each successive oppressively hot day Bellamy could feel himself becoming increasingly angry, and worryingly back towards the Ark robot he had so unwillingly become following his mother's death, a person he knew was no good, and someone he didn't want to become again.
Before he could increase his anger further there was a call from outside his tent and he looked up as Octavia strode in. She had changed the most over the past year. Her strength had increased and Bellamy saw how toned she had become from all her grounder training. Her clothes were no longer dishevelled space wreckage but fully Grounder, her hair intricately braided. Underneath the new strength Bellamy still saw his little sister, but she didn't need his protection anymore, no matter how much he wanted to give it to her.
"Hey, you skipping work and just lazing around today?" Octavia jabbed wittily at him before giving him a brief hug and throwing her belted, sheathed sword onto the floor so she could sit comfortably.
"No. Day off." Bellamy replied stiffly. At this Octavia wrinkled her nose in disgust as she understood what it was doing to him to not be busy for a day. Bellamy looked at his hands ashamed. He knew there were other things he should have been worrying about, he had to be a leader and look after the many but still sometimes he couldn't hide his emotions too well, and Octavia was the one person who always managed to weaken his hard shell. He sucked the blood off his thumb and tried to not make it noticeable to Octavia that he was beginning to get a lump in his throat and a prickle of emotion at his eyes.
"Bell, if you ever want to talk about her it's okay. It might be good for you to just-"
"No." Octavia looked a little startled at his sudden rejection and he cleared his throat to be a little softer when he spoke, "No, its fine. Thank you though I will if I need too."
"What you up to anyway?" He quickly said, tactlessly changing the conversation, "There's no meetings scheduled for today is there?"
Octavia flipped around and lay on her back placing her hands behind her head for comfort and exhaled loudly. He rarely saw her let her guard down these days, being always on duty as Indra's second she was constantly scrutinised for signs of weakness.
"No. But Indra had me training Kane's guards that he sent over for the month last night, and after she grilled me on their progress she wanted me to trek the 4 hour journey all the way over here to update Kane." He couldn't help laugh a little at her exasperation, it reminded him of the old Octavia.
"What?" She said turning towards him, "Some of us don't get to just sew all day." she pointed at his pitiful attempt and watched as the blush crept up her brother's face.
"That's pathetic Bell!" She laughed and jumped up to inspect his work, "Who tried to stab you through your tent away?"
Bellamy sighed knowing he was in for more of her playful mocking when she learnt how the canvas had become ripped and expected the playful punch in the shoulder that came after he explained.
"Well you better get better at sewing Bell because the heat isn't going away for a while." Octavia laughed.
He let out a heavy chuckle at her remark, "You staying for dinner tonight or-? "
"Sorry Bell, I've got to get back after I've talked to Kane. The hunting party is scheduled to be back tonight." Bellamy secretly smiled to himself, knowing that what Octavia really meat was Lincoln was coming home and he got up and hugged his sister.
"See you soon." Bellamy patted her shoulder when they parted.
"You can count on it." She replied before stooping to pick up her sword, belted it again before powerfully striding out of the tent towards the Ark, willingly entering the place that had been her prison for the majority of her life.
Deciding that his sewing could wait until later Bellamy strode outside. The day to day monotony of camp maintenance saw guards maintaining their guns, wood being chopped, a fire being maintained and the general milling of people who now walked with a little less weight on their shoulders. Bellamy saw Raven and Wick by the outside of the crashed Ark peering into one of the vents, he knew they had been trying to sort some sort of air cooling system for inside the ark for days, and by the smiles on their faces and the triumphant kiss the inside of the Ark would hopefully no longer feel like you were being cooked inside a tin can.
Although he smiled at their happiness and was thankful for their collective intelligence something made him look away quickly from the scene and look out towards the woods. Trying not to acknowledge this pain was something that he had become accustomed too over the past cycle of seasons but on irritable days such as the heat of today he felt that his frustration was increasing, a mask for his lost feelings that he wanted no one, not even himself to acknowledge. Trying to hide his discontent had been easy from most people, but Octavia saw right through him, frustrating him more was her knowledge of the reasons for his upset. He felt waves of his selfishness hit him once again as he stood there looking at the tree line, he knew she needed this time away but God he wanted her back, he needed her back.
Not wanting to cause any alarm by his incessant staring at the forest Bellamy residing himself to looking away soon but was stopped by a yellow streak catching his attention between the trees. He felt his heart drop into his stomach and he took a deep breath of the thick, dusty air around him holding it in in anticipation. How many times had he seen this glance, this hallucination of hopelessness? It wasn't true, he knew she wasn't there and so returned to his tent and focused fully on his sewing. Living was about focusing on the present and at this moment the slash in his tent was something he could control and fix, focusing on one problem at a time was the only way he had kept the appearance of sanity.
As he placed the final strokes in the canvas he heard a cry of surprise from outside followed by a shout for the chancellor. Expecting to see an injury from an ill aimed axe swing in the chopping area or a small fight breaking out Bellamy walked outside to see if he could help in some way. Looking at the Arks entrance he saw the chancellor with her hands over her mouth and eyes filled with tears, Raven stood with an equal shocked face and the gathering of intrigued people increased, their gaze all pointing in a similar direction. Expecting danger Bellamy felt his heart already begin to race as he diverted his gaze towards the source of everyone's attention. Steadily a figure walked towards the camp, her stance was strong, her hair flowing and Bellamy blinked to make sure it wasn't some hallucinogenic heat haze that had produced such an apparition. His breathing now growing ragged and he realised why Abby looked so shocked. He felt a pain in his chest and he couldn't decide how he suddenly felt so full and on the verge of tears all at the same time.
"Open the gates!" Kane shouted from beside Abby and the on duty guards snapped out of their questioning glances pulling the heavy gates open prematurely for the arrival of the woman.
Bellamy's muscles ached for action, to go running towards her but something rooted him to the spot. He hadn't notice Octavia move to the side of him or heard what she had said. Abby was the first one to break the stillness that had washed over camp as she strode purposely towards the woman and embraced her fully. Bellamy saw the woman's knees buckle from the force of the embrace and they both settled on the ground, burying each other in comfort.
"Bellamy?" He heard Octavia this time but couldn't tear aware from the scene in front of him. He was now very short of breath and his heart was racing. Placing his hands over his eyes he tried to calm his breathing down but found no success and could now hear the blood pumping around his ears. Looking up his eyes locked with the woman they had all be so eagerly staring out. There she was, in camp, safe and sound and so close to him. Her appearance was slightly dishevelled, as any person who lived off the land looked. She was a little more tanned than he last remembered, a factor of her having experienced her first spring and summer on Earth. Her hair was down in its signature style, with a few sections pulled away from her face by simple braids. Her clothes were a combination of space and grounder wear but it was her, Clarke was back.
His heart was screaming for her, but his head was filled with a million questions. How could she leave him? Why was she back? Was she okay? She abandoned you why do you care? He felt a surge of anxiety rip through him, his mouth grew dry and his heart was beating so fast he became panicked and ran his hands through his hair and over his face, hoping either to remove the scene from his eyes or help to increase the capacity of his lungs to draw in breath, he couldn't decide what these involuntary movements were trying to achieve. Octavia's hand was on his shoulder now as she saw the distress on her brother's face.
"Bell?" Octavia's voice penetrated into Bellamy's small panic attack and he looked at his sister with wild eyes.
"O? What…what do I do? It's her, it's Clarke" He'd dreamed of this day for so long he couldn't help but think that this was all some cruel illusion, maybe a hallucinogenic plant he'd eaten earlier today?
Feeling less able to catch any breath he rested his hands on his knees and leant down, trying to make the ground in front of him focus.
"Breath Bellamy." Octavia ran comforting circles on his back and felt relief as she saw her brothers breathing begin to slow.
Suddenly Bellamy felt his head begin to clear and looking up again he confirmed the reality of the scene in front of him before springing into action and running with tears in his eyes to the beautiful blonde girl he was so desperately in love with.
As Bellamy approached Clarke separated herself from her mother and stood ready to receive Bellamy when he arrived. Stumbling to a hault in front of her Bellamy opened his mouth a number of times trying to formulate words that just wouldn't come. He saw the nervousness on her face as well and rubbed his hands over his face once again before realising it was all real and decided he couldn't hold it in anymore and pulled her into a tight embrace. She was warm, she was breathing, thank god she was alive and finally back with him.
At their contact Clarke felt Bellamy's heart beating fast against her chest and in an attempt to sooth him reached up and pulled his head into her shoulder running her fingers through the hair on the base of neck repeatedly. In response to her actions Bellamy's arms encircled her waist and she smiled into the nape of his neck.
"Bellamy." He heard her breathe into his shoulder and he couldn't help but smile in return, one of his first real smiles in a long time.
Reluctantly pulling away from the embrace Bellamy looked straight into her glistening eyes, "Are you okay?" Bellamy choked out.
Feeling a lump form in her own throat in response to the crack of emotion in Bellamy's voice as he had spoken Clarke nodded in confirmation and reached up and guilty wiped away a tear that she had caused from Bellamy's cheek with her thumb.
Smiling again at her warm touch Bellamy tried to produce a sentence out of all the thoughts that were flying through his mind. "How are you? Why did you…Where did you… Are you hurt?"
At all his questioning Clarke felt the weight of her actions fall on her as she felt all the pain in Bellamy's questions, all he wanted was for her to be okay.
Misjudging Clarkes silence as a sign of his inability to put her emotions first he quickly apologised before pulling her again into a tight hug.
"Don't leave me again Princess." Bellamy whispered in a deep voice into her ear, causing a small smile to creep over her face.
"Okay, I promise" Clarke replied as they pulled apart finally remembering that the eyes of a number of camp residents where still trained on them Bellamy looked away from Clarke briefly to observe to reactions of the people around him.
In his moment of distancing from the situation Clarke had been pulled into another welcoming hug, this time by Raven. Octavia was smiling slightly still stood at a distance from the scene, not knowing how to react to the return of Clarke, still not having agreed with some of Clarkes previous decisions and held back by the knowledge of her brothers emotional pain over the past year though Clarkes absence.
Whilst this embrace was going on Bellamy looked around at camp again and subtly tried to wipe the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand. Most people were looking at the floor, trying to avoid looking upon the emotional scenes caused by Clarke's entry, other members of the delinquents of camp where staring in shock and amazement at the return of their leader whilst a few unwanted stares trained looks of anger towards Clarke's arrival and Bellamy automatically assumed a defensive stance.
Leaning into Abby Bellamy whispered his concern at the hostility nodding towards a group of disgruntled people looking their way. Acknowledging the antagonism displayed by some towards Clarkes return Abby ushered Clarke towards to the Ark.
With Abby walking ahead of Clarke, her presence parted the lingering sea of people, Bellamy strode at Clarkes side. Protectively he placed a hand on the small of Clarkes back, making sure that no one dared to harm her. At his touch Clarke looked at him again and felt shame at all the pain she had caused him and hoped that one day he could forgive her, or at least that the pain would begin to fade.
Bellamy knew that he could never let her go again, whatever the situation they would do it together, in whatever way their relationship stood, and he hoped that she felt the same way and that she may never leave again.