It took me weeks to wrap my head around the idea. The truth. The real truth. I can't remove the image of two Spencer's standing in front of me, my head ticking with that gun in my hand. Even though it wasn't two Spencer's at all. One of them was the girl I constantly thought about, the one I called "goofball," the one I loved. The other was a twisted sadistic monster called Alex. The tears in their eyes, the desperate plea for my acceptance. I looked in the left girls' eyes first. Wide-eyed, scared, glassy. The second one's eyes were different- saddened, weakened, hopeless. I can't explain it, I just knew. From the second I met her eyes. I knew it was her. Spencer. Those doe eyes and her shaky cracking voice. It was like when you smell your favorite meal. Or when you hear your favorite song. Or when its the night time and it's cold and you feel the ever-sweet warmth from a fireplace. There was not doubt in my mind or in my heart. So when I asked them what was the favorite poem from the book Spencer gave me, and when I was relieved to hear Spencer's elegant and soft french escape her lips... it was like I fell in love all over again.
The real monster was taken away that night. For Spencer though, there were still monsters that she couldn't see. Some days were harder than others. I was hoping today wouldn't be one of those days.