"My hands are cold, my body's numb,
I'm still in shock, what have you done?
My head is pounding, my vision's blurred,
Your mouth is moving, I don't hear a word."

I sat on the bed, my arms around my knees in a desperate manner, to keep from falling apart.

I couldn't even think of what I had seen, because I was sure that if I even put the image in my mind I would not be able to keep from crying anymore.
But like the masochist I was, my mind wandered back to that moment, and the moment before it had all happened.
I know you're wondering, "What's wrong?" and you're wondering why I'm trying so hard to keep from crying and screaming at the world.

I won't tell your our love story, because if I do, I'll just pass out, and I can't relive these moments right now.

But I will tell you what ruined it.

~flashback

I giggled as Edward once again pulled me to him, his vibrant emerald green eyes looking into my brown ones. He grinned at me so high, his eyes were barely visible because of his cheeks. He leaned into kiss me, and I desperately tried not to get too lost in him, because I knew I had to leave soon. "Edward." I spoke, my words muffled against his lips. I pulled away, laughing again as he started to leave kisses along my jaw. "Edward, I promise I'll be back in 1 hour, but it'll be longer if you don't let me go," I said, trying not to get distracted by his lingering kisses.
He pulled back, pouting. "But I already miss you," He said, holding me tighter. My heart melted, and I smiled. I gave him one last kiss, and I said, "I know, but I really need to go." He sighed in defeat, but smiled. I hugged him, saying, "I lovelovelove you." He chuckled, saying he lovelovelove'd me too.
But tell me, dear readers, how was I supposed to know that was the last time I would actually believe him when he told me these words? How was I supposed to know, that when I walked out his door, that, that would be the last time I ever wanted to walk through them again?
I didn't know. But now I wish I did.

~1 hour later

I smiled as I drove my old Chevy to Edward's, thinking about how much fun I had helping Angela sort out invitations for her family. I seriously needed to hang out with someone who didn't erupt butterflies in my stomach every second of the day. Plus, Angela was always kind.

My thoughts became confused when I pulled up, to see Rosalie's car there. Maybe she was here to see Emmett. She can barely get her hands off of him during school, and I can't imagine what they're doing now. I chuckled, and I wondered if Edward wanted to go to the movies to give them, and us, a bit of privacy. I was thinking about it, as I used the key under the matt to get inside. Edward, and I had been together for a year now, and my heart still melts when his mother told me where the key was, and that I was welcomed anytime I needed something. "anything," she had emphasized.
The house was... unusually silent, since I was under the assumption that Emmett was here. I was surprised his booming laugh wasn't echoing off the walls. Then, I noticed that Emmett's car wasn't even here. "Is Edward and Rosalie here alone?" I thought, confused. I walked up the stairs, my heart thumping loudly against my chest, for reasons unknown to me. My feet froze when I saw a trail of clothes going up the steps. In the back of my mind, I already knew. Of course. Of course. Yet, my heart refused to believe it, so I followed the trail up to Edward's room. I heard whispering voices, and jumped when I heard Rosalie's loud moan. My hands rose up to cover my mouth, but like the stupid little girl I am, I wouldn't believe it. I leaned closer, and found the door was opened a bit, wide enough for me what was inside.
All I saw was Rosalie's painted toenails, and the rest of the clothes that was on his floor. Then, my heart broken, I heard Edward's voice. "We have to be quick today, Bella can be coming any minute." He whispered.
Rosalie moaned, but this time in frustration. But she made no protest. "You'd think after a month we wouldn't take so long," she panted. Edward didn't respond, and I still couldn't see anything. With sudden courage, ignoring the squeaky bed sounds, I opened the door, preparing myself for the worst.
Which was stupid. I should have prepared myself for the unimaginable. The horrifying.

The heartbreaking.

Edward and Rose froze at the same time I did, and my throat felt dry, and I couldn't speak.
The sight before me would not leave my mind for years, I was sure.
Edward and Rosalie, naked, in his bed. He was on top of her, practically covering every inch of her body with his, just like he did to me when we got tired of movies on his floor, and decided on soft kisses on the bed.
My hand gripped the doorknob tightly, my other hand shaking. He finally looked up at me, his face horrified, scared, and guilty. All I could process in my mind was, "How could you?"
I cleared my throat audibly, and I said, "I'm gonna go now."
As soon as I was out of their sight, I began running, tears pouring down my face, and tried to calm down when I was successfully in my truck. I gripped the steering wheel tightly, sobbing quietly, and jumped when I heard someone tapping on my window. It was Emmett. I opened the door, and he looked at me concerned. "Bella, what's wrong?"
My face scrunched up when I realized this would hurt him so much too. Rosalie was practically his life. Yet, it would be so unfair to him if I didn't tell him.
"Edward... and... bed... naked," I cried out into his chest when he hugged me. He stiffened, my words all he needed to figure it out. He turned around to go into his house, probably to scream at him, and I said, "Emmett." He turned around at my broken voice, confused again. "With Rosalie," I breathed out. His face turned into shock, and pain. He nodded, lips pursed, and went into the house. I shut my door again, and prepared myself to leave.
The last thing I saw was Emmett kicking Rosalie out with livid, and yet, broken eyes.
I decided that my heart was left on that opened door, and that it was no longer beating in my chest.

~now
I cried silently, remembering. Remembering how we fell in love, how it had all come apart in a matter of minutes. I had just gotten home, and was thankful that Charlie wasn't here. I changed into my sweats, and now I found myself lying on my side, curling around my pillow, and screaming into it when I felt the pain the most. It had come to me in waves, calming down, allowing me to breathe, then turning so bad that I hoped I would pass out. But I never did. I was left wide awake in this nightmare.

The waves crashing over me had calmed, and my phone started ringing. My stomach churned at the prospect of talking to Edward if it was him, but I felt relief when it was just Emmett. I answered the phone, and didn't bother masking the watery tone to my voice. "Hello?" I whispered. "Bella. I'm... I'm sorry if I interrupted something, but I... I really needed someone to talk to." He said, his voice breaking. "Okay." I whispered. "After I walked into the room, they were... they were getting dressed, Rosalie crying, and Edward just shocked, and also seemed to be spitting words out to himself. He seemed keen on going after you, but I forbid him. I also locked the door from the outside, leaving him no choice. Afterwards, not even being able to look at her, I told her to get out, and to never talk to me again. She tried to apologize, to explain but I wouldn't let her. And now I'm here, and Edward's just wallowing in his bedroom, and I feel so... so..." He ranted, and then sounded on the verge of crying.
My lip trembled, as I said, "I know."

He sighed, but then said in a much cheerful voice, "Can I pick you up from your house?"
My stomach churned at the thought of going back. "And where would we go?"

He seemed to think about it, and said, "We could just talk in my car in this old abandoned parking lot. I don't think you want to come back here." I appreciated that Emmett just seemed to know my feelings towards his home right now. Especially since the owner of my heart, who had broken it, seemed to be inside of it.
But then I also thought of how I didn't want to become involved in anything that was somehow related to Edward. I wasn't sure if I was ever going to be able to forget him. How could I not, though? I loved him, with everything inside of me. I needed to decide whether getting more involved would be the best solution. I then decided, that it wasn't.
"Thanks, Emmett. But, I just really want to be alone right now, okay? Don't be offended, I just... I need time."
Emmett understood, and we hung up. Already feeling the crushing waves coming in, I grabbed my pillow, preparing for the worst.