A/N: Some minor changes to the song, but all rights reserved to L.J. Smith, CW, and Lilly Allen. Original song: Alfie, Lilly Allen. ( Everything Damon says is the song, basically)
Oh, deary me.
Stefan sat in his bed, trying to open the stupid thing. He smiled, taking a long drink. There was a sound outside his door. Damon's voice filled the room.
" Oh deary me, My little brother's in his bedroom drinking human blood.."
Stefan looked around, how did he know that?
" I tell him he should get up cos it's nearly half past three. He can't be bothered cos he's high on type B."
Stefan blinked, what the hell is he doing?
" I ask him very nicely if he'd like a cup of tea, I can't even see him cos the room is so smoky. Don't understand how one can watch so much TV, my baby brother Stefan how I wish that you could see."
Stefan glares at him
" I only say it cos I care, So please can you stop pulling my hair?"
Stefan leans back. " I don't know what the hell you are doing, but you better stop you son of a-"
" Now, now there's no need to swear, please don't despair my dear Mon frere."
Stefan crossed his arms, very confused about his antics.
" Oh Stefan, get up it's a brand new day, I just can't sit back and watch you waste your life away you need to get a job because the bills need to get paid. Get off your lazy ass, Stefan please use your brain."
" I am, what are you doing?"
" Surely there's some walls out there that you can go and spray, I'm feeling guilty for leading you astray. Now, how the hell do you ever expect that you'll get laid, when all you do is stay and play your little games?"
Stefan sighs, just waiting for him to stop.
" Oh little brother please refrain from doing that, I'm trying to help you out so can you stop being a twat? It's time that you and I sat down and had a little chat, and look me in the eyes take off that stupid fitted cap."
Stefan scowls.
" Please don't despair, please don't despair, Mon frere."
Stefan shoots out of his bed, his heart racing. What the hell? He sighed. Just a stupid dream. He relaxed and fell asleep. Trying to ignore the truth in the stupid dream.