For the Last Ship Sailing Comp. "Red String of Fate", "Direction", "Chair". Also for the FRIENDS challenge, all on HPFC forum.
Very few people can see the world as it truly is. Albus just happened to be one of those people.
Many believe it is a blessing; a way to find happiness when everything is hopeless, or to guide when the way home is unclear.
But really, all it does for Albus Severus Potter is cement the anguish of unrequited love.
…
I.
"You're telling me that all this time, you've never actually seen Big Ben? How long have you lived here, mate?"
"All my life," Albus says miserably, and Scorpius throws his hands up. The red String wrapped round his finger shakes with the movement, and Albus can feel the tug on his own heart.
"Just- never had the time. My parents never leave the house without getting ambushed, you know?" Albus says, watching Scorpius drop himself into the chair in front of the fireplace with an expression of exasperated shock. It's a face that Al is intimately familiar with; he can feel himself wilt the longer he thinks about how utterly irritating he must be-
He smiles at Scorpius and the blond doesn't suspect a thing.
"Well," Scorpius says. "I guess Jana and I will have to make sure you see it over this summer."
Bitterness wells in Al's mind and even as he grins and forces excitement on his face to make the plans, he thinks only of how Jana, sweet, kind thing, wouldn't hurt a fly, had wormed her way into Scorpius' sights and has remained for the past four months.
"Do you want to get lunch afterward? Jana will have to leave early- she says she has some appointment with Eddie from Hufflepuff- you know the one with the really bad acne and the skill to go pro on the field? Yeah. I dunno what the hell she wants to do with him. Something about a skate? Whatever that is. But anyway, she hasn't seen it either, you both are absolute failures at culture, by the way. I think you'd like her if you gave her a chance. Besides, it would really make me happy-"
Albus blinks himself out of his reverie. Oh, he's pulling that card. Lovely. "Of course," Al says. "I've been trying, Cori, you know that. I just. Can't seem to find-"
"Any common ground, yeah, I know. But you've only spoken to her, like, twice."
"Six times," Albus protests, and Scorpius levels him with a flat look.
"Uh, yeah, like that's much better. She and I are really close, you know, I wish-"
Albus shakes his head. "I think I'll pass on the whole thing if you'd rather be with her," he says slowly, keeping the hurt from his voice.
Scorpius looks at him in shock but Albus is already out of the chair and half way to the dorm. "Hogwarts Express leaves at eleven tomorrow," he reminds Scorpius. "I think we should get some sleep."
"Albus?"
…
II.
"Do you ever wonder what it would be like?" Scorpius asks.
Albus follows his gaze to Jana, who is gesturing wildly at Eddie outside the compartment. She stepped out just a moment ago. "What what would be like?" he asks. Eddie leans against the wall of the train and Albus allows himself only three seconds to admire the boy's cheekbones before he clues into Scorpius again. How wonderful it would be to be able to fall in love with someone else, he thinks. Someone who wasn't blond, with the prettiest blue eyes and cheekbones and pale, unblemished skin (Scorpius really got the good genes, Albus thinks, partly envious, partly bitter, and partly in love)…
"To see the String of fate," Scorpius elaborates, and Albus focuses on his best friend- his soulmate- with a renewed intensity.
"No, I don't," Albus says plainly. Scorpius jolts. He stares at Albus as if he's never seen him before.
"What? How do you not wonder?" he demands. "I think it would be amazing- to see who everyone is going to be with, if the person you're with is the right one-"
"It only serves to drives loneness into someone's heart. Because if you're truly mean to be with someone and they're with someone else- you want them to be happy and it's hard to give like that. To give and give and give. Because that's all it is. You just give people the words they want to hear when they ask if their partner is the right one and then you're to blame when the lie is found, and then you're isolated even further and-" Albus is exhausted. He flops back miserably to stare out the window; at the green trees and misty mountains in the distance and he wonders-
"You can see them, can't you?" Scorpius guesses. "How come you never told me?" and he sounds sad. Betrayed. But Albus can't bring himself to feel any sympathy because he's the one leading Al along on a string- literally- and one little secret isn't all that life-changing.
Albus' lips thin. "Why would I? It's not exactly a great, wonderful gift."
"Everyone loves that gift; it brings a sense of direction, of purpose-"
"Good thing I'm a nobody, then, isn't it?" Albus demands bitterly, and Scorpius looks stricken. Al's heart twists in his chest and he stands. "I'm gonna head to the loo," he mutters, and slides open the door to the compartment. Scorpius stares after him helplessly.
…
III.
Albus goes straight to his room after he gets home from the train station and Ginny knocks on the door not even five minutes later. He sighs, curling up tighter on his bed and she knocks again. "Allie?"
"Come in," he calls, resigned. She swings open the door and he can feel her eyes on him.
"Tell me," Ginny says, sitting on the side of his bed.
Al sighs and rolls over to face his mother, closing off his facial expression. She frowns. "Allie. Come, now, I know something is wrong. Talk to me, sweetheart," she requests, reaching to brush her hand over his forehead, shifting his bangs.
He hesitates, then mutters, "I can see the Strings."
Her eyes widen, and then her face softens, knowing this isn't a good thing. "Okay," she says. "I suspected. You were always following invisible lines when you were younger. But. That's not the problem, is it?"
Damn her motherly instincts. Albus sighs, and presses his palms to his stinging eyes. "Scorpius found a girl. He's my soulmate."
"Oh, sweetie," Ginny sighs, and lays down next to him, taking his hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it. "Have you thought about telling him?"
"Oh, sure," he says, throat clogged and tone bitter as always, "Tell him to dump his girlfriend to deal with his loser friend who's selfish enough to ask." About his stupid crush. About how he would love to just sit and listen to him talk for days because he has the most wonderful voice and the brightest smile and he's so smart- and, and kind- and. He feels the tears, more insistently.
"Alright," she says, unsurprised and well-adjusted to her youngest son's attitude to know that he didn't mean to snap. "Firstly," she continues, and she drags his other arm from his face so he can see her. "You aren't a loser, and he clearly doesn't think so either or he never would've stuck around for so long. Secondly, has he ever said this girl is his girlfriend?"
He pauses, and then shakes his head. "They're always together lately. And he never makes friends, not like that. It's always been the two of us. I just can't believe…"
"So you're jealous," Ginny whispers, and he nods.
"Of course I am." He is horrified to feel a tear leak from his eye. He brushes it away hurriedly and says, "He's my soulmate and someone else has him."
"Allie," Ginny says firmly. "I love you, and I won't see him ruin you. Just because he's your soulmate doesn't mean that you can't find someone else until you either forget about him or he pulls his head from his ass." Albus chokes on a laugh, and his mother smiles. "You're worth so much more than being someone's second choice. Never let that happen- not for any future partners, not for friends, and certainly not for your supposed soulmate. Understand?"
"I never know how you manage to know what to say," he stutters slightly and his palms return to his eyes and he smiles.
"I'm your mother. I know everything," Ginny states, grinning and quietly relieved to have her boy smiling again. "So I know you should come down for dinner," she continues. He laughs loudly and sits up. She doesn't mention his reddened eyes or pale face, instead, she just opens her arms and kisses his head when he hugs her back. "I love you, Allie," she says again, and he hums.
"Love you too, mum," he says, quietly. She holds him tighter.
…
IV.
Albus!
I haven't heard from you and it's been almost two weeks since we've been out of school. What are you doing? Did you go on a spontaneous holiday and not tell me? I've sent two other letters and they both came back unopened. Please tell me you're just not home and you're having fun and not dead in a ditch somewhere. Tell me you're alright, even if you just say, "Piss off."
Look. I know things have been weird lately and I don't know what happened or how to fix it but I want to try. Why don't we both go to Diagon Alley on Wednesday and have ice-cream? Maybe visit that old bookstore you're always going on about. Or maybe your uncle's shop. Something. I don't care. I just want to see you. Jana won't be invited.
My dad's worried about you. He says it's like he's missing his second child and the house has been too quiet without you at least poking your head in the fire. Or having tea with him and not even bothering to call me to tell me you're in my house. Since that's a thing you do.
Show up for dinner tonight if you're not mad at me for something so I know you're not dead. Just write if you are. I told you I can't live without you. It's been awful.
-Scorpius
…
V.
He shows his dad the letter the day after he gets it and Harry waves him away. "Go have fun," he says. "Give Draco my regards."
"Thanks," Albus says, and Harry smiles at him before returning to his paperwork with a grimace.
"People are stupid," he says, and Al snorts, pulling on his robe. He feels comfortable in his green and silver cloak that his Uncle Ron bought him last year as an apology.
He thinks of Scorpius and his obliviousness and agrees wholeheartedly. "No kidding," he says. He pulls at the thread of the sweater he's wearing and stands there, waiting for his father to say something else. He turns to leave when he keeps quiet for a moment.
Harry looks up. "Something wrong?"
"What makes you say that?" Albus returns to his father's side and Harry puts his quill down to face him fully.
"You're hesitant. Almost like you don't want to go."
He shrugs, feeling awkward. "Like Scorpius said in the letter. We had a little falling out."
Harry is visibly reluctant but he says, "Do you want to talk about it?"
Albus shakes his head and tries to ignore the sting that comes with his father's momentary look of relief. "Mum already gave me the pep talk two weeks ago."
"Two weeks ago? When you got home from school?" Harry looks confused. "You let it sit for so long?"
Albus shrugs again, starting to feel antsy and uncomfortable, so Harry lets it go. "Alright, Al. Go work this out so you can go back to mysteriously disappearing to the Malfoy manor and giving us all heart attacks," he says jokingly.
"You always know where I am," Al scoffs. "Not like I actually go anywhere else."
"Oh, just go, child. Let me work," Harry laughs, and Al grins, scurrying away.
He marvels at his progress with his father after years of animosity. They've come far in a year and a half.
He takes a handful of Floo powder and holds it out in front of himself, and clearly says, "Malfoy Manor," dropping the powder.
…
VI.
Draco jumps when the fireplace lights up and a familiar dark haired boy steps out. He waves the house elf away and takes the boy into his arms. "Albus," he says in relief.
"Hey, Draco," Albus greets, folding himself into the blond's hold automatically. Draco pulls back after a moment and fixes him with a stern glare.
"Scorpius is a mess," is all he says, and Albus wilts. He's been unnecessarily mean, and he knows it.
"Lily admitted to intercepting my letters," Albus says. Not a lie. He complained about it to her and noticed the shameful flush to her cheeks and she said it was for his own good since she knew Albus was hurt by something. He blew up at her and she promised to stop. Sure enough, that night, he got a letter.
"That doesn't excuse the fact that you've stopped coming around," Draco says. Albus sighs, and Draco softens. "Scorpius said you were upset about something, but he didn't know what."
Albus doesn't know what's with the sudden psychoanalysis from everyone he knows. He shrugs. "I was," he admits. "And I'm sorry I took it out on Scorpius but…"
"He did something?" Draco sounds upset, and Albus shakes his head.
"He couldn't know," he replies. Draco give him a long, steady look. Albus squirms a little under the weight of it.
"He's in his room."
"Okay," Albus says, and he turns, handing his robe to the house elf and walking up the stairs to where he knows Scorpius' bedroom is.
He knocks on the plain white door and waits. "Yeah?" he hears Scorpius call, and he opens the door.
The blond lights up and stands, knocking over a cup on his desk in his rush to hug Albus. "Al!" he greets, beaming. He releases Albus, who feels like he's been beaten to a pulp. The red string pulses between them, and he tries to ignore it.
"I was worried you were brutally murdered," Scorpius says. "I mean. I probably would have heard about that in the papers, but. Here. Sit down." And Albus sits in the chair by the desk and Scorpius throws himself on his bed, eyeing him. "So what's up?"
"Lily intercepted my letters," he says first, and Scorpius nods slowly. He doesn't look happy.
"So? You don't normally wait for invitations," he says. Albus sighs and leans back in the chair, crossing one leg over the other. "So what did I do? If I did anything."
"Not your fault," Albus says. "Just had to work through some things in my head. I'm good now. We're good."
"I don't believe you," Scorpius says bluntly. "You were mad at me on the train. I asked about the Strings. That's what I did."
Albus swears and leans forward. "Not. Your. Fault. I said we're good. I'm sorry I didn't come around. I was an asshole about it," he says firmly, and Scorpius frowns.
"It's okay. I get needing space but. If what I said is still bothering you-"
"Leave it, Scorpius," Albus sighs, tired. He drops his head to stare at the ceiling. The blond is blessedly quiet for a minute. Then.
"I thought we didn't do secrets?" he asks, quiet and timid.
Albus groans. "Okay, fine. Ask away," he grants, waving his hand.
"Do you know who your soulmate is? Will you tell me so I can kick their ass into gear?"
"What?" Albus stares at his friend. He nods enthusiastically.
"I can't imagine having a soulmate that is dating someone else- and-"
"Oh, no," Albus says. "I will not take their happiness from them."
The blond deflates. He stares at his nails, picking at them and biting his lip. His eyes shift from Albus to his hands and he takes in a huge breath and lets it out slowly. "What about you?" he asks.
"What about me?" Albus returns, baffled.
"You deserve happiness, too," Scorpius elaborates, and Al shakes his head.
"I won't be anyone's second choice," he echoes his mother and the words fit in his mouth and. He feels hopeful for once. He hold up his hand and shows it to Scorpius. Takes hold of the String and twirls it around his left index finger, tugging. Scorpius' breath catches, his hand flying to his chest. "And this?" he says. He stares at it. "It's just a guideline."
Scorpius' face is devastated. "A guideline?" he repeats, and his voice breaks.
"Of course. So many people end up with the wrong people, Scorpius. It's not a sure thing. Your parents were the picture-perfect, once-in-a-lifetime thing- they found their match. It doesn't always happen. I've seen old people in hospitals, dying, with bright red Strings."
"They're different colors? And you never met my mom. How do you know they were mates?"
"It says her name on his finger, now that she's gone. It's branded onto his skin in white-gray. A fulfilled match. But a widower."
Scorpius looks like he's about to fall apart, and Albus worries he's gone too far. "Look. You said we could-"
"Tell me about the colors?" Scorpius asks, but not really. It's like a demand.
"They're red when they're unfulfilled," Albus begins, watching his friend avidly. "They pulse when the match is close, but still not fulfilled. Purple when it is. And black for a broken, unfulfilled match, and white-gray for a filled one."
"I've never heard that before," Scorpius says quietly, staring into space.
Albus spreads his hands helplessly. "Most people pretend they can see them for attention. But really? The rumors are fantasy. It's hard to see them. I can only focus on a few at a time, and the rest fade from sight to prevent me from going blind. If I could give the ability up I would. It would save me."
"From?" Now Scorpius redirects his attention, staring at him with a puzzling amount of focus.
Albus shrugs, shaking his head. "Heartache."
…
VII.
He actually catches Jana making out with Eddie in Diagon Alley three days later.
He stops in his tracks and Scorpius runs right into him, tripping. "What the hell?" he asks, holding onto his candy like it might fly away. Or hop, Albus supposes, thinking of the sheer amount of chocolate frogs his friend consumes.
Scorpius follows his gaze and lets out a shout. "I told you so!" he calls, laughing, and Albus jerks, and Jana flips him off without looking, kissing Eddie and the blond beside him keeps laughing. "I told her he liked her," Scorpius says triumphantly.
Albus flounders. He doesn't say anything.
…
VIII.
"What are you planning on doing after Hogwarts?"
And wow, that's a thing he actually has to think about. Another month and they'll be seventh years.
"I have absolutely no idea," Albus says, running his mind over different options and not figuring out what he wants. Auror was out because he hasn't taken potions since fifth year and he isn't really fond of the idea of being the magical equivalent to a police officer. Obnoxious. He has taken Care of Magical Creatures, and Muggle Studies so maybe something like that?
Scorpius laughs and holds his hand up. It looks so small next to the vastness of the sky. "I'm thinking I might specialize in wands," he says.
"You'd be good at that," Albus says in return. Scorpius opens and closes his hand and his String moves with him.
Albus is surprised that Scorpius hasn't asked about his String. He's had plenty of opportunities. He wonders if the blond just doesn't want to know. And Al is glad that he seemingly doesn't- it makes his life easier, to hold his secret close and not have it forced from him.
He's beautiful, Albus thinks, eyeing his friend. Everything about him is aristocratic and proud, even the messy fluff of his hair. It's Albus' favorite- he would love to run his fingers through it as they kiss, and maybe have Scorpius pin him to the wall and just take-
"Albus?"
He jolts. Scorpius is close, and Albus leans away, eyes wide. "Scorpius," he says, and Scorpius doesn't reply. He just leans in closer and stares at him. Albus' eyes flicker and he doesn't quite know what to do with himself.
He figures it out pretty quickly when Scorpius kisses him.
He's still in his shock when Scorpius starts to pull back, so Albus lets out a short, broken noise and tugs Scorpius back, curling his fingers into white-blond hair. It really is soft. His other hand goes to Scorpius' hip and stays there, and Scorpius supports himself with one arm over Albus and his other on Albus' cheek, rubbing his thumb in circles. Scorpius deepens the kiss, opening his mouth and then prying Albus' open with his tongue, and wow, okay. Albus' brain short-circuits.
Scorpius pulls back and grins in triumph. "I knew it," he says.
"What?" Albus asks, slightly drunk on the kiss.
"I had to test it, but I figured-"
"Test it?" Albus experiences a rather cruel jump back to reality and he pushes at Scorpius. "What do you mean test it? Test what?"
"If I kissed you, what would you do?"
He grows cold. "Was this a joke?" he whispers, and Scorpius' face does a complete one-eighty, horror blooming in his eyes.
He doesn't answer, and Albus shoves him off and disapparates.
…
IX.
Harry is furious and Ginny is just unbearably sad.
Their purple String used to be reassuring. Now, it's just a mockery of his own, a red-violet he's never seen before. Maybe he just hasn't looked hard enough.
Because it's impossible that he's the only one to have nearly completed a bond.
He cries. It's completely unstoppable and it lasts for an entire day before he exhausts himself into a restless sleep. He dreams of Scorpius and wakes up unbelievably angry.
He never would've thought Scorpius Malfoy capable of such cruelty.
He lies in bed for two days, not eating, and he ignores his parents and Lily and James as they try to get him to say anything. Teddy writes from Romania and he doesn't even read the letter.
Harry starts yelling from downstairs, and Albus lifts his head sleepily at the word, "Malfoy," being screamed in harsh, unforgiving tones.
There's a knock on the door.
"What?" he asks, flatly, and Ginny opens the door.
"Scorpius and Draco are downstairs," she says. "They want to see you."
He stares at her, eyes going out of focus. He doesn't really want to see them.
That isn't what he says, as he watches his String pulse with color, fading purple. He starts to cry and Ginny's face reflects alarm but he waves her away. "Send Scorpius up here," he says, coughing. "But give me ten minutes. I'll steal Lily's dry shampoo and James' cologne. Get dressed. That sort of thing."
She hesitates, but she must see something on his face, because she just sighs. "If it were up to me, you would never see that boy again. But you're nearly seventeen. And you've loved him for years. So you get ten minutes to talk and if you're not smiling by the end of it, I'll throw him and his father out and forbid you from seeing him again."
"That last bit won't be necessary," Albus says, "Because if he doesn't have a good excuse, I'll kill him myself."
"Atta boy," Ginny says approvingly, winking at him. He grins.
…
X.
"I'm so sorry," is the first thing Scorpius says, and Albus doesn't want to hear it. His heart is in pieces at his feet and-
"I didn't answer you in time. I took too long and I know that- I would've hated you had you done that to me. I don't blame you at all. You were right. I've been an ass. I kissed you because I feel like you're it for me, and I don't know for sure, you know, about the whole String thing, but even if it's totally wrong, it's just a guideline, right? But we've been all each other has for six and a half years, and I couldn't bear to live without you."
Scorpius' eyes are red-rimmed and puffy, and his face is pale, and Albus figures he doesn't look much better. Pale blue eyes search his desperately, and Albus sighs and looks away. Scorpius flinches. "I. I am sorry, Al. I-"
"Oh, shut it," Albus mutters, and Scorpius shuts his mouth. Albus fixes him with a look, and he says, "I'm in love with you," and Scorpius smiles, fleeting and hopeful, before he deflates again and that same weary looks appears on his face. Al continues, "I wish you'd said something like that after you kissed me but you didn't and I guess it's over."
"Over?" Scorpius repeats.
"In the past. Done with. Can't change it," Albus says. "And no amount of wishing will change it, so how about this? Kiss me now and don't tell me it was a stupid test-"
Scorpius does just that, crossing the room in record time and cupping Albus' face, pressing their lips together. Albus clutches at Scorpius' wrists and kisses back.
It's everything he's wanted the past two days since Scorpius said the wrong thing at the wrong time and it feels perfect.
…
Strings are just guidelines. But whoever, whatever, designed them, well.
Albus is inclined to believe it knew what it was doing.