Fairytale Ending
Note: This is what happens when I'm stuck babysitting seven year old girls for an entire weekend…I didn't even know we owned that many princess movies…So you can thank Disney for slipping this little idea inside my head…haha. I was originally adding this to ALL ABOUT KYUUBI—some of you will see the references to that fanfic in Chapter 1—but it kind of turned into its own story…that will start in chapter 2…so enjoy!
BadFiction
Ps. I wouldn't completely classify this as crack…I have a plot all set up for the fairytale part of this story… the first part was just for fun; I think I'll make it part of the sup-plot…heehee ;p.
Pps. There may be some Oocness, mild cussing, and character bashing…but I'm going to try and keep it to a minimum. Also, updates on this fic will be infrequent until DK is finished. I do think this will become my main piece after that though…
Summary: Sakura just wanted her knight in shining armor. Unfortunately, fate decided to send an evil prince instead. "See Naruto, Sasuke-kun! This is what happens when you piss off Kyuubi while she's editing! I wind up kissing Gaara!" Gaa/Sak. AU Fairytale-ish
OooOooO
Chapter One: In which the author tries to tell a story…
Broadway rehearsal, Day one…
"Once upon a time, there was a young, prince named Naruto—"
"Why's the dobe the prince? I thought this was a good story? "
"What's that supposed to mean! Teme!"
"It means that since I'm the good looking one, I should be the prince…"
"WHAT! HOW DARE YOU, BASTARD!"
"Do you two do anything but argue? How troublesome…"
"But he does have a point…I LOVE YOU SASUKE-KUN!"
"You're annoying."
Sniffle, sniffle, "You're so mean."
"I love you Sakura-chan!"
"Drop dead, Naruto."
"Why, Sakura-chan? Why?"
"I-I th-think y-your cute, N-n-naruto-kun."
"Aw, Hinata-chan thanks! I think you're cute too!"
Gasp! Thump.
"Hey…Hinata-chan? Are you okay? Why'd her face get all red? DO I NEED TO DO MOUTH TO MOUTH?"
"She'll be fine, idiot. She just has Narutardism. Give her some air and she'll wake up in a little bit."
"Narutardism? That sounds serious. Is it contagious?"
Snicker. "I sure hope not, but it has been debatable. Don't worry; I'm pretty sure you're immune."
"Oh, good. I'll just hold her head in my lap until she wakes up. That way she'll be comfortable."
Several heads shake side to side in awe of the blonde haired male's obliviousness.
Eyes roll. "Dobe."
Lips sneer. "Teme."
"Come on, guys. I really want to hear Kyuubi-chan's new story! She always creates the best Broadway hits!"
"Yeah, un! We didn't come all the way from Akatsuki University to hear you two argue. We're here to help with the special effects, un!"
"Don't forget Sand U! We come a long way to help create the background props, Jan."
"Thanks Lee-san. Deidara-san, Kankuro-san, it's a privilege to have you here helping with the show again. The explosives and puppets you two—plus Sasori-san, of course—created last time, I believe are the only reason why 'Ninja Hurricane' did so well. I'll start again from the beginning so everyone can figure out their roles. Once upon a time, there was a happy, young, prince named Naruto—"
"I still think I should be the prince…"
"God Damn it, Sasuke! I'm telling the story here, now shut the fuck up!"
"…"
"You have serious anger issues, Fox. Have you been skipping you're meds again?"
"Don't make me kill you, Coon. Now is everyone done interrupting?"
"…"
"Good. Now, as I was saying…Once upon a time…"
Insert menacing glare over the manuscript, daring anyone to interrupt again.
"Once upon a time, there was a happy prince named Naruto who lived in the happy kingdom of Konoha. But Naruto wasn't like most princes; for he didn't grow up in a castle…hell, he didn't even know he was a prince. One day, another prince, an angry and sometimes mean prince, from the far away land of sand visited his village. That prince was named—"
"Gaara? Seriously? I mean, I the whole angry part is perfect; but a prince? Come on now! You know I should be the prince!"
"That's it, prince boy. I'm gonna light your fucking hair on fire."
Flick. Whoosh. Crash.
"Haha! Kyuubi scared the bastard out of his chair!"
"Damn it, Naruto! Can't you see you're crazy sister's trying to kill me!"
"Nah, if she really wanted you dead you'd be charcoal right now."
"It has crossed my mind…"
Crickets…
"That's not nice, Kyuubi! Are you okay Sasuke-kun?"
"Yeah… Ino." Mumbling, "No thanks to the pyro…"
"Stop interrupting…and I won't have to resort to violence. Now are there any other objections or can I continue telling you your parts?"
A hand rises.
Blue eyes glare angrily. "Keep it up Sasuke, and I'll make you the villain again…"
The hand lowers…
"Anyone else?"
Another hand rises.
The sound of a deep sigh escapes. "Yes, Gaara?"
"I don't want to be a prince. I'm more suited as the villain…that part is always more fun…"
A sinister grin sends a cold chill up everyone's spine…
"…"
"You know what? Fuck it. Nobody's a prince. Happy?"
Almost everyone nods.
"I still want to be a prince."
"Jesu—Fine! Once upon a time, there was a prince named Sasuke. He died. The end."
"…"
"Hahaha! Best story ever!"
"Shut up, dobe."
"Make me, teme!"
"Seriously, if you two don't shut up now! I'm leaving and taking my script with me to Hollywood. Have fun finding an acting gig without my connections."
Dead silence. Mostly due to several hands gagging the mouths of those trying to protest…
"Finally! Okay, let's try this again—with nooooooo interruptions —Once upon a time, there was a boy named Naruto…and Naruto dreamed of being a prince. All so he could woo the fair maiden Sakura…"
Snort. "Fair maiden my ass…"
Knuckles crack.
"What was that, NARUTO?"
Gulp.
"Sakura-chan? It was a joke…haha. You know, funny?"
"You better run dobe..."
Whack. Smash.
"Sa…ku…ra…chaaaaaaaan." Thump.
"Too late."
"He'll be out for the night."
"What a bother….Someone's gonna have to carry him home…"
Papers fly in the air.
"This is ridiculous, I quit."
"So does this mean I get to be the prince now?"
"…"
Flick.
"I suggest you run."
"Oh, shi—"
Whoosh!
"And this, Iruka, is why I usually arrive a week late to these rehearsals."
"You owe me 50 ryo, Tsunade-sama. Kyuubi couldn't last a day without setting something…or in this case someone, on fire."
"Damn it, Itachi. It should be illegal the way you steal money from me."
A set of feet running…a set of feet chasing…"GOD DAMN IT, KYUUBI! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!"
"But Sasuke-kuuuun! If you're gonna be the prince…you need to practice fighting fire breathing dragons…I'M JUST TEACHING YOU HOW TO BE A PRINCE, DAMN IT!"
OooOooO
The next day…
"I swear to God, if any of you try to interrupt me once after I start reading, I will burn this entire theater to the ground—with all of you in it. Does everyone understand?" twitch.
Gulp. Unanimous answer. "Yes, Kyuubi-San!"
"Good." Twitch. "Now any questions before I try this again?"
One hand slowly rises…
Twitch. Twitch. "Yes, Sakura." Twitch.
"Um…Can Sasuke and Naruto breath?...You used an awful lot of duct tape…"
"They're fine. Anyone else?" Twitch. Twitch. Twitch.
Silence…
"Okay, then. Let's start—Once upon a fucking time…"
Quiet whispers in the back row. "Oh, boy…she's gonna butcher this story now, isn't she?"
"100 ryo, says Naruto and Sasuke end up as gay lovers again…"
"You're on, Uchiha-san!"
"…There was a village, Konaha; and their idiot was named Naruto…"
OooOooO
End note: So, yeah. I would love to hear what you think...whether you think I should continue with this or not...chances are, this is going to be a full length story. Can't wait to hear what you think! :P
BadFiction