If he only knew.
A/N: This story popped into my head while reading some yaoi, I thought, "What if Winry and Riza and most of the girls on FMA were yaoi fan girls?" After that thought I burst out laughing. I couldn't stop laughing while I typed this. I'm hoping it to be a 2 chapter thing but...It might be longer than I expected. Who knows what will happen! ...OK, I knows... ANYWAY! Enjoy and comment NICELY! I know it sucks so don't point it out. Luvs to all!
Rated for language, violence, and some yaoi moments.
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE IDEA!!! Everything else belongs to the creators.
Winry sat in her chair, giggling and bouncing while she scrolled down her computer screen. Her face was slightly pink because she was laughing and was so energetic. A wave of fear swept over her when her client and best friend, Edward Elric, knocked on her bedroom door.
He called to her through the door, "Hey, Win? I need your computer for a sec', I need to get into HQ's files."
Winry panicked and franticly clicked around to close the window.
"H-Hold on Ed! I'm uh-getting dressed!" That was the only excuse she could come up with before Ed could open the door. Ed looked at the wall clock in the hall.
"It's 1:00! You can't just NOW be getting dressed!"
Winry needed to stall a little longer. If Ed typed 'H' into her search bar, he first thing that would pop up would be 'Henti'.
"I got some oil on my favorite shirt and I really don't want it to stain." She tried to sound calm, "Okay! You can come in now!"
The blond Elric opened the door to find a flushed mechanic sitting in her computer chair with her arm over the back. Her nervous face almost gave her away. Ed raised an eyebrow and slowly shut the door, as if expecting something to attack him from across the room.
"What're you up to?" he asked suspiciously, closing in on his dear friend across the room.
"Uh, you know. Just, working on some automail blueprints and-"
"You look warm, you feeling alright?" The eldest Elric placed a flesh hand on Winry's forehead. That did it. The bubbly blond exploded in laughter and dived under Edwards raised arm. She tried to sustain the giggles but it failed, so she darted out of the room. Ed wanted to chase after her, half to find out what was wrong, and half to find out if there was some sort of medication he should know about. He was a bit worried for her sanity, but he didn't go after her. Instead, he got on the computer and began looking for what he came in for. Shortly after finding nothing of interest, a little ding sounded from the speakers and an MSN e-mail popped up. The subject read as followed, "More Ed Yaoi".
What is yaoi...and why is my name in it? He concluded if his name was in the message, it was his busyness. He click the box and a new window opened up revealing the e-mail senders name.
fire extinguisher 4 life,
Winry, I just got some more yaoi! It all came to me when I was in the office. Check it out!
Ed closed his eyes, wishing he could see his beloved Roy again. He was with another girl. Why couldn't he just burst into his Colonels house and explain his feelings toward him without regret. His wish turned around though when, you guessed it, Colonel Roy Mustang walked through his door. He silently walked up to Ed, pushing him against the wall, and placed his lips just above the young boy's.
Roy whispered seductively, "I couldn't spend another night without you."
With that he leaned down, turning a soft kiss, into a fiery battle of tongues...
Edward stared wide-eyed at the text before him before sitting calmly in the chair he stood up in alarm just moments ago. He calmly placed his hand over his eyes and turned the monitor off. Suddenly, he began shaking his head shouting, "GET OUTT'A MY HEAD!!! GET IT OUT!! GET IT OUT!!!"
Alphonse heard his brothers cries, as did Winry, and they both rushed upstairs to find out why Ed wanted something out. Winry already had a slight idea of what though. Winry was the first to enter the room, and was the only on, because before Al could enter, Ed slammed the door in his face and grabbed Winry's arm. He dragged her over the the silent computer and turned it on.
"What the HELL is THIS?!" his hand shook with disbelief. The Rockbell looked innocently at him.
"Stupid spam mail. I thought I got rid of that problem-"
"Don't feed me that crap. You know what it is! I can't believe you!"
"I didn't write it! It was...uh..." She didn't want to turn in her yaoi author, but Ed was going to strangle her if she didn't finish her sentence.
"Who in their right mind would write something so disgusting that involves me and that bastard. Gack-" He held his stomach and put his automail hand over his mouth, "I think I just threw up in my mouth..."
"It was Riza." Winry tried to make yaoi sound like a good thing to Ed, "But you and Roy would make such a good couple!"
Ed's eyebrow stitched. "That's so disgusting. You know I hate that man's guts! And since WHEN have I been GAY!?"
"But still! Yaoi is so cute! And there are all sorts of other couples!"
"Is there any about my little brother?" Ed's eyes met with the blond's ocean blue eyes and she knew she couldn't speak the truth.
"No! Of course not!" She sweat dropped nervously. She then became worried when Edward stomped down the stairs, grabbed his symbolic red coat, and headed for the front door.
"E-Edo-kun?" Winry sounded sweetly yet cautiously, as if handling a bomb with her words, "Where are you going?"
Ed didn't even turn around when he answered, "To kill First Lieutenant Hawkeye."
A/N: Tell me what you think!! Remembers, I have good brownies...-shifty eyes-...-is not blackmail-