TAKING SPACE

As much as I love the bathtub and snoring scenes, this is my version of what happened after Meredith tells Derek that she had broken up with Finn. It's basically a rewrite of 3x06 (Let the Angels Commit), different characters, different sequence of events. So, when you're reading this fic, you'll have to disregard the actual episode so you won't get confused.

As with the show, Derek tells Mer that he needs to take some space, but in this story, it happens in the beginning (before his sister shows up).

Space. He wants his space. Fine, I'll give him his space, shove it down his throat till he chokes on all that space, she thought bitterly. Yeah, right. Tell that to someone who actually believes you. Crap, she seriously has to get a grip. One sure sign you've lost it is when you sarcastically contradict your own thoughts. She has got to stop thinking about Derek.

It's just that she's been really restless since they've spoken the other day. He said he wanted them to work, but he needed to take some space, 'to clear his head.' Yeah, whatever. Seriously, she has got to stop doing that.

Or maybe she should just admit that she really doesn't want to give him his space. She's had enough of space --- those long months she's had to spend alone --- when he'd chosen Addison. It was just difficult to accept that they weren't together when they could be. He's finally free, she's chosen him, but here they were … taking space. If only she knew what he really wanted, where they were going, what was going to happen after he had taken 'space'.

Okay, I'm giving him his space. He can have all the space he wants. Space. Sp-a-ce. Crap, it doesn't even sound like a word anymore. He should have asked me for time instead, because it sounds so much better than space and even if you say it over and over, it still …, she rambled. FOCUS, Meredith, the other voice inside her head brought her back to attention. Where was I? Oh yeah, space.

I'm giving him space. I really am, she told herself with conviction. So why the hell are you on your way to his trailer, the annoying voice of reason (it sounds an awfully lot like Cristina) spoke again. Oh, shut it!

Mental note to self: get a psych consult..

She spotted his jeep as she slowed down, indicating that he was home. Now that she was there, she was suddenly assailed by shame and doubt. It's okay. We're friends … I'm here to see how he's doing … hang out for a while, she justified, slowly getting out of the car.

Not wanting to announce her arrival, probably so she could leave without him knowing she was even there, she closed the car door gently and made her way to the trailer.

Stepping into his home, she stopped dead in her tracks as she saw him locked in a fierce embrace with a woman … a really attractive woman … a young woman … and he was clad only in boxers … embracing this young attractive woman …

At her gasp, which she couldn't prevent from escaping, Derek and the woman were startled out of their embrace.

"Meredith," he said with surprise.

"Sorry, I … I didn't mean to … I … uhm, I'll just go …," she rambled, turning to leave as quickly as possible, failing to notice the tiny bundle on the bed.

"Meredith, wait, let me explain," he called after her, but he was unable to stop her.

X ---------- MANY HOURS LATER ---------- X

Four-thirty, the clock read. She'd been tossing and turning all night, getting a few hours' sleep only because she put her phone on silent. Derek has been trying to ring her, no doubt to explain the presence of the young attractive woman in his trailer, but she didn't really want to hear his excuses. She checked her phone; eight missed calls, the time indicated varying intervals between calls.

Four-thirty-three. It's a good thing she didn't have to go to work today. She was really exhausted. She couldn't even remember her drive home from the trailer. Images of Derek in the arms of that woman haunted her all night. She went from being upset and angry, to betrayed, to indifferent, to being reasonable, to forgiving and understanding, then back to upset and angry. I should have gone drinking last night. At least I would have been asleep now, instead of sulking at 4:39 in the morning.

Her musings were interrupted by the flashing of her phone indicating a call. Picking up the phone, her suspicions were confirmed when she read Derek's name on the screen. Much to the dismay of the creepy annoying voice-that-sounded-so-much-like-Cristina, she accepted the call.

"What do you want? It's 4:00 in the morning … you're so inconsiderate," she ranted, not giving him a chance to speak. Feigning indifference, she continued rambling with a bored tone, "Listen, I don't care who that woman was … you don't need to explain anything to me … you're taking space …"

"Mer, let me explain," he attempted to get her attention but failed miserably.

"… fine, I get it … I don't need you to tell me who …," she trailed off as she heard a tiny whimper that sounded very much like a baby's cry.

"Shhhhh, it's okay, Ben, shhhh," she heard him say soothingly, and then a series of muffled sounds came filtering through --- a baby sobbing, a rustling of fabric, creaking of seats, Derek's frustrated attempts to calm the cries, and a soft thud --- suggesting that he had dropped the phone.

"Mer, are you still there," came the frazzled question after a few seconds.

"Yes, Derek, still here. Was that a baby," confusion mellowing her voice.

"Yes, Mer, it's a baby," he exhaled loudly.

"Derek, what the hell are you doing with a baby?"

"Listen, Mer, it's not what you think," he whispered, as the sobbing turned into soft hiccupping. "It's a long story, and I'll explain everything … would you please come down to the door so we can talk?"

"What? You're here?"

"Yes, I'm in the car … been here for half an hour … please, would you come down and let me into the house, Mer," he pleaded.

"Okay," she agreed hesitantly after a few seconds, intrigue and confusion getting the better of her.

She opened the front door a few minutes later (she had to tiptoe her way downstairs so as not to wake her roommates) to a harassed-looking Derek. He looked rattled, and his hair was unkempt, as if he spent the entire night running his fingers through it. He had a tired smile on his face, but relief and appreciation shone in his eyes. He was carrying a car seat in his right arm and an assortment of bags slung over his shoulders. She stepped back to let him in, still speechless, and he flashed her a grateful smile as he headed to the living room. Closing the door, she followed him.

He laid the seat on the couch, briefly patting the stomach of its occupant in assurance, before dropping the bags onto the floor. He turned back to pick up the still whimpering baby, positioned him against his shoulders, and lowered them both to the couch with a heavy sigh. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, as if to compose himself, and then turned to face her.

She remained standing a few feet from him, watching his movements, more confused than ever but her angry resolve weakening slightly at the weariness in his eyes. Compassion propelled her to the couch, taking the hand he stretched out to her in invitation. She sat down beside him, her body turned to him, her hand still clasped in his. He threw her a grateful smile and leaned his head against the backrest. She gave him some time to take a breather, and took the opportunity to study the baby nestled comfortably against his chest. The tiny version of Derek, save for the hair color, was no longer crying, seemingly content as he sucked on his thumb, soft hiccups evidence of his earlier crying.

The tiny infant he called Ben had soft blond curls framing his chubby round face, and the warm blue eyes that stared back at her were strikingly similar to the eyes that haunted her dreams for months. A wave of tenderness and longing washed over her. This baby was how she had imagined their baby would look like, her heart lurched at the vision. If only I hadn't …, she thought sadly. She wasn't going to think of that now.

She snapped out of her reflection to the sight of Derek watching her intently, weariness etched in his face but diffused by the glimmer of warmth shining in his eyes. He shifted the baby to his chest, resting on his other shoulder. He took a deep breath and began the introduction.

"Mer, this is Benjamin, and he's a little over 8 months old. He belongs to my little sister, Ruthie," he began, smiling wider as he shed light on the mystery woman in his trailer. "She was in Canada on assignment, so we haven't seen her in over a year. Nobody knows about this little guy."

"Okay, so she's your sister and this is your nephew," she said in relief. "But I don't understand why he's with you."

"It's rather complicated, but it essentially ends with me having to take care of Ben here for a while."

"What? Are you serious? Do you even know how to take care of a baby?"

"Well, I do have fourteen other nieces and nephews, so I have an idea about what to do. But I desperately need your help," he declared softly, throwing in 'the look' for good measure.

"What?!? You've got to be kidding me, right?" She jumped out of the couch in panic.

"Mer, I've got an important surgery at 10:00 then I'll take the rest of the day off. Please, Mer, I know it's too much to ask, but I really need your help. I haven't slept since the other night, and that surgery …"

"Derek, I do not know a single thing about caring for a baby," she protested, her voice rising in panic.

"Okay, calm down. Ruthie says he's a very sweet-tempered baby," he paused at her skeptical look. "Okay, well, he was a little difficult earlier, but that's only because he misses his mommy. Right, Benny? Anyway, Ruthie said he's easy to care for. Bathe him, put him to sleep, feed him, change him, and play with him, not necessarily in that order of course."

She still looked unconvinced, but Derek did the underhanded trick of bringing her hand, the one he still held, to the baby's cheek, encouraging her to touch the sweet little thing.

It must have been her lack of sleep, his irresistible pleading expression, the warm thumb drawing spirals on her hand in a soft caress, or the adorable angelic face of the baby in his arms, or maybe the combination of all those factors. She couldn't really tell, but before sanity and good sense could stop her, she had whispered her assent.

Mental note to self: get a psych consult ASAP!

A/N: Your reviews would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

To those following "Close Collaboration," I'll have the sequel/updated chapter (haven't decided which one yet) up in a few days.