A/N: I'm not sure what you would really call this shipping, but I had this idea scraping around in my skull for a while and I wanted to try it out with a couple that WASN'T AAML or Contestshipping.

If you're going to favorite, PLEASE review! I've had at least 14 people favorite my Certain Someone story, but they never reviewed, and I only got 6 reviews right now because of it. Please?

I don't own Pokemon, nor any other reference in here. Guess who forgot to give me that for Christmas, hm?

Also, Neptune is my OC, so don't you borrow him without permission. I'll sick Ryan on you. He's in the Young Marines. We're BFF's. Oh yes.

It had started like every other day, hadn't it? There wasn't any difference in Saturn's usual schedule, was there? He was sure there wasn't. Positive there wasn't. He had gotten up, brushed his teeth, ran a brush through his hair, eaten his bland bowl of brand flakes, and walked to the Team Galactic building like usual.

And yet, this day was totally unlike his others.

"Aww, my little Saturn's growing up!" cooed the only other guy in the company that he could somewhat call his friend. Saturn moodily pushed away Neptune's hand that was pinching his cheek. Neptune swung his swishy blonde hair out of his face and focused his shocking gold eyes on Saturn's face.

"Wow, you must really be serious about this one." he commented, noticing how intensely Saturn glared at him. "You're not even phased by my 'Just-Like-Granny-Pinching-The-Cheek' technique."

"Neptune, nobody would be phased by that. It's just annoying." Saturn spat, then began pacing, going over every little detail of his morning to make sure that nothing could have caused this phenomenon.

"So, tell me about her again." Neptune commanded, sitting at his desk, leaning back in his chair, and placing his feet on the desk while he watched Saturn pace. Saturn didn't even look at him.

"So Cyrus got a new Commander, right?" he started. "Since we're trying to fill all seven positions and everything-"

"Six. Pluto's not a planet anymore, remember?"

"Oh, that's right. Poor Commander Pluto. Kicked to the curb."

"She was pretty hot, too."

"Anyway-" Saturn continued, "She's about my height-"

"Mmm, I like the short girls." Neptune purred. Saturn turned red.

"Stop interrupting!" he fumed. "And I am not that short."

"Only about six inches under the average height for males, but hey, whatever helps you sleep."

"Moving on-" Saturn seethed, "she's got red hair, right? And it does this flippy thing in the back, and there's a cute little cowlick on the top of her head, and-"

"Let me stop you there." Neptune interrupted for the third time, removing his hands from behind his head and placing them, fingertips together, on the desk in front of him. "She sounds like a cute girl, I'll admit. But Saturn, please don't stoop so low as to accept a girl with a bad sense of style. A cowlick? Honestly, I thought I taught you better!"

"You sound so gay when you say that." Saturn pointed out. Neptune put a hand to his chest.

"That hurts, my friend. That hurts." he said. "So what's her name, anyway?"

"I'm not sure of her real name, but she's now Commander Mars." Saturn said. "Kind of fitting, with her bright red hair and all."

"Cliché." Neptune commented.

"So, what should I do about her?" Saturn asked. Neptune stood, resting his elbow on Saturn's head. Saturn scowled up at him, but didn't say anything, since this guy was probably the only chance he had at getting this girl.

"Well, depends." Neptune mused, checking his nails. "I'll have to see her first, I guess."

"Come on, this way." Saturn said, taking the first chance he could to duck out from under Neptune's arm. Neptune followed with grim satisfaction after Saturn, who was marching through the cubicles of other grunts to the file room, which was bustling with activity.

"There, she's in there." Saturn said, pointing though the window slit in the door at the redhead next to the copy machine directly across from the window. Saturn, who had been blissfully staring at her through this said slit, was pushed out of the way unceremoniously by Neptune, who stared through the window with searching eyes.

Immediately, he spotted the girl, who, at that moment, was bending down to pick up her fallen papers. Her skirt, pretty much a solid cone, did nothing to hide anything, and the spandex tights under it didn't lie. Neptune let out a low whistle.

"Wow, she's hot stuff." he pressed his nose against the glass and continued to stare openly, pushing Saturn away when he tried to look through the window himself.

"Hey, what's going on? Why won't you let me see? Come on!" Saturn whined in a very undignified fashion.

"She's got a pretty tight ass, too." Neptune mentioned casually, smirking at the frantic scrabbling sound of Saturn trying to see.

Mars had just noticed a stray piece of paper under the table, and was crawling on her hands and knees to reach it. Neptune had a very clear shot.

You idiot, let me see! What's going on in there?"

"Oh, Mars just dropped her papers on the floor and I can see up her skirt is all." he said casually. He was almost positive that he heard a growl from deep in Saturn's throat.

"Hey, I saw her first!" he seethed. "Let me see!"

"Alright, take a look for yourself." Neptune said, stepping aside. Saturn, who had been trying to push the bigger of the two aside without success now fell to the floor, scrambled to his feet, and smushed his nose against the window now, just in time to see Mars dust her skirt off, back on her feet.

"Damn you, Neptune!" Saturn seethed again, clenching his fists. "I get a chance to check her out, and what happens? You hog the whole thing!"

"Well, I can't help it if her butt is too hot for your eyes to handle." Neptune shrugged. Seeing the look on Saturn's face, though, he swung an arm around his shoulder and said, "But, on the upside, I know exactly how you can make her yours."

"Really?" Saturn asked eagerly, all anger forgotten as Neptune led him back to his cubicle upstairs.

"Yes. Pickup lines." he said simply. Saturn shrugged off Neptune's arm ad stared at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Pickup lines? Those things never work."

"I'm telling you, that's how you get her in bed." Neptune said simply. "That's how I got Jupiter, anyway."

"Wait, you got Jupiter with cheesy pickup lines?" Saturn asked.

"Yup. It'll be about a week before she comes around, though. Usually, they deny you and think you're a jerk for a week, then they come around and BAM! Instant action."

"All you think about is sex, I swear." Saturn rolled his eyes.

"Oh, and you don't?" Neptune folded his arms. "Besides, how do you think I get so many girls? I have experience! Which is definitely more than you could offer."

"Hey!"

"Come on, when have I ever lied to you before?" Neptune asked. Saturn raised an eyebrow.

"If I took all the hands from everyone in Team Galactic, I still wouldn't have enough fingers to count that high."

There was a moment of heavy silence.

"Well played, my friend." Neptune said after a pause. "Still, if you ask Jupiter, she'll tell you the same thing. Break out the sexy lines, and she's putty in your hands."

"Well, thanks, Neptune!" Saturn said, brightening visibly. "I'll try it. Bye!" he bounded off, trying to head off Mars before she left the file room. Neptune watched him go with a sly smirk. His smirk grew when he felt a pair of gentle, experienced hands slide around his waist. A chin rested on his shoulder from behind.

"I love it when you're bad like that." Jupiter whispered in his ear. He put his hands on hers and turned to face her.

"He's too naïve for his own good." Neptune said. Jupiter giggled maliciously and gave Neptune a quick peck on the cheek before sauntering around in front of him. "Besides, how did you know?"

"Cubicle walls are pretty thin when you press your ear to them." she grinned, stepping closer. Neptune put his hands on her waist and diminished the distance between them.

"Clever girl." he said. "I wonder how long it'll take him before he catches on?"

"Two weeks if you keep up with your lie." she said. "I don't know how he bought it, though. The only reason we ended up going out is because I threatened to blackmail you if you said no."

"Best decision of my life." Neptune smirked. Jupiter pulled away and took his hand, leading him through the cubicles.

"Come on, my cubicle's more secluded. And soundproof."

Xxxx

"Why, hello there." Saturn said suavely, sliding up next to Commander Mars, who was still organizing fallen papers at the desk. She didn't glance at him twice.

"Hello." she said. "I'm Commander Mars. I'm new here." Saturn took a deep breath, prepping himself.

"It's nice to meet you, Mars. You can call me Mr. Ski Lift, because I'll sweep you off your feet." he grinned through half-lidded eyes and watched her expression. She froze, then looked up at him curiously. The Grunts that had heard Saturn now looked on with curiosity.

"Hey, Mr. Ski Lift, didn't I see you working the front desk this morning when I walked in?"

"Um-" Saturn began to turn red. 'She noticed you, idiot! Say something clever!'

"That's right, I did see you! You were working the loser shift!" she said, grinning. Saturn's face fell. A couple of the Grunts muttered, impressed, under their breath. Saturn even heard a few "Denied!"

"Of course! I didn't know it was your full-time job, though. My bad." she continued. Most of the Grunts heard and snickered amongst themselves. Mars suddenly looked less friendly. "Find yourself another girl. I'm not that stupid." Then, gathering up her papers, she turned on her heel and marched out of the room, a fanfare of applause following her as she left.

"Ouch..." Saturn stood, disbelief written across his face. That girl was harsh!

Oh well. That was to be expected, right?

Quickly, ignoring the catcalls following him out the doors, he watched Mars from a safe distance and followed her, memorizing the way to her cubicle for future reference.

"Hey, are you by any chance wearing space pants?" Saturn asked, catching up with her. She turned to him, apparently not amused.

"No, I'm not." she said. "Why?"

"Because your butt is out of this world!" Saturn said, flashing a dashing smile. Mars's mouth dropped open.

"Ugh!" she groaned. "That's terrible, not to mention stupid! In case you noticed, I'm not even wearing pants!"

"Then that makes my job a lot easier." he winked. Mars looked like she was going to be sick.

"You are a cow." she said. "An arrogant, pompous cow."

"Baby, if I was a cow," Saturn said, moving closer and putting an arm around her waist, "you would definitely be my prime rib."

About seven seconds and a loud, resounding SMACK later, Saturn walked away with a hand on his cheek, as if it could stop the stinging sensation from the bright red hand print under it.

This girl was harder than he thought. But what an attitude! She was definitely worth the pain.

Xxx

Instead of doing his work, Saturn sat and stared at his clock, watching each minute pass by, until he could finally jump out of his chair and have another go at wooing Mars.

Lunch time.

"All employees, please report to the cafeteria for your lunch." came a voice on the loudspeaker. As intended, Saturn sprang out of his chair and raced towards the lunch room, determined to get there so he could meet up with Mars. Actually, raced isn't the right word. More like walked in an extremely fast and awkward-looking manner towards his destination.

"Someone's early." said a voice from behind him. Saturn turned, and was faced to face with Neptune, his swooshy blonde hair, normally perfect, now askew and at odd angles. A satisfied smirk was plastered on his face.

"Someone's been breaking rules." Saturn answered. Neptune shrugged.

"That 'No Making Love on Company Headquarters' rule is stupid. Who follows it anyway?" he asked, giving his head a shake to fix his hair. "Even the Boss does it sometimes. Besides, who's he trying to impress with a sophisticated rule like that? Why not just call it 'No Sex on the Premises' rule?"

"So, I heard about your little schoolboy crush." Jupiter smiled, coming up behind Neptune, not looking near as disheveled, but just as satisfied. "You've got guts, hitting on the new girl like that."

"What? Why?" Saturn asked. Jupiter looked him over.

"Well, for starters, she definitely isn't your type." she said simply.

"I have a type?" Saturn asked. Jupiter nodded.

"Oh, definitely." she answered. "And she isn't it."

"What are you talking about? If anything, He's not her type!" Neptune argued. "He's too much for her, if you ask me."

"I beg to differ." Jupiter retorted. "He can do better than her!"

"Well, you know the proper way to settle this, don't you?" Neptune asked, a hint of seduction in his voice. Jupiter nodded slowly, then pulled him back up the stairs to her cubicle again, most likely. Saturn, who had just been standing there the whole time, looking awkward, shuddered.

'I really hope I don't end up like those two.' he thought, turning away. Just in time to spot a bright redhead bobbing her way through the tables. Saturn stood, watched where she sat, and then closed in on his prey.

"Hey there. Your name is Sexy, right?" Saturn asked, sitting down across from her.

"I see that slap didn't change your mind a bit." she said without looking up. "Though, it did seem to make you lose your memory. You can't seem to remember my name."

"Mars, baby, Of course I know your name." Saturn said in a very debonair fashion. "You know, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."

"Really?" Mars looked up at him, her eyes shining. Somehow, Saturn felt the calm before the storm.

"Yes, really." he answered uncertainly.

"Because if I could arrange the alphabet," Mars's stature changed in the blink of an eye. "I'd put F and U together."

"Ouch, Mars. Ouch." Saturn said, feigning hurt. "Why do you have to be like that? It's so unladylike."

"Mr. Ski Lift," Mars started, reminding Saturn that he hadn't really told her his actual name yet, "What girl in Team Galactica acts girly?"

"Commander Venus." Saturn said simply. Mars rolled her eyes while Saturn leaned forward and rested his chin on his hands.

"Commander Venus is a slut. Of course she's going to act girly!" Mars retorted. Saturn sat up suddenly.

"Finally! Someone else has the guts to admit it!" he grinned. Mars was looking at him curiously. Not the kind of 'I-Think-You're-Scum' kind of look, but not the 'I-Wonder-if-I-Can-Get-in-His-Pants' kind of look either. A questioning, pondering look.

"What did you say?" she asked, with no trace of disgust or hate. A normal voice.

"Um," Saturn caught himself, before he revealed too much about himself to her. It would totally ruin the plot. "want to go back to my place?"

There was a moment of heavy, awkward silence.

"Huh. My imagination, then. Besides, I doubt two people could fit under a rock." Mars said, picking up her tray and moving to another table, which ironically, sat Commander Venus.

Saturn let his head fall to the table with a thunk.

'Wait,' he thought, 'my imagination what?'

Xxxx

Saturn's week passed by speedily, but painful nonetheless. Every day he would walk into work like every other morning, and then set up his office, and then spend every chance he got throwing himself at Commander Mars. Every line used was worse than the last, and was usually paired with a smack or a stomp on the foot. Still, Saturn didn't complain. He started to doubt Neptune, though, as time passed. He was very proud of the lines he used, too! Some were rather creative!

"If you were a booger, I'd pick you first!"

"Are you a pokemon? 'Cause I wanna Pikachu!"

"You look a lot like my next girlfriend, you know."


"Hey Girl Scout, those cookies for sale?"

"Alright, I'll let you stand by me, but only if you promise not to go brag about it to your friends."

"Hey, are you a parking ticket? Because you got fine written all over you!"

"You're going about it all wrong, dude!" Neptune said to him. "You have to be positive about it! I've seen you come in, looking worse and worse every morning. You need to come in, expecting the sun to be smiling on you for the rest of your life."

"Um, okay?" Saturn didn't really know how to react to that.

"Be positive about yourself, and ye shall triumph." Neptune said simply. "Now, excuse me, I have to go find Jupiter."

Xxxx

Saturn's routine the next morning was different than usual. He jumped out of bed with more spring in his step than usual, and ate his breakfast, humming merrily to himself. He had even changed out his usual bran flakes for sweet and crunchy Lucky Charms! He brushed his hair more carefully today, making sure it looked just right, and whistled a little tune on his way to Headquarters.

He came in through the front door, still whistling, and was immediately silenced by Neptune, who slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Cyrus is in a bad mood." he whispered quickly. Saturn stopped his whistling immediately, and looked around the lobby in silence. Grunts and secretaries were striding around quickly and silently, not making eye contact and not saying a word. All that aside, Neptune never called Boss 'Cyrus' unless it was important.

"What happened?" Saturn asked as he walked briskly with Neptune to his office. Neptune shook his head.

"One of those mornings for him, you know? Coffee machine broke down, scanner backfired and sprayed ink all over the place, and he's got people working to clean that place up. A bunch of other stuff's happened too, so Jupiter's working on getting him more relaxed."

"Don't you care what your girlfriend does?" Saturn asked. "I mean, come on, Boss is your boss!"

"And that's why I let her. First duty is to the Team, you know." Neptune said with more wisdom than he usually had. Or, pretended to have, anyway. "So how's the whole Mars thing working out for you?"

"She's kind of... Not getting it." Saturn sighed. "Rejected every time."

"Well, kid," Neptune planted an arm around Saturn's shoulders. "I can tell you the line I snagged Jupiter with, if you'd like." he winked. Saturn, though skeptical, nodded.

"Let's hear it."

Neptune whispered something in Saturn's ear. Saturn, in turn, flinched away, nose wrinkled.

"That's disgusting, Neptune!" he grimaced. "I'm not using that!"

"Well, if you can think of a better alternative..." Neptune shrugged. Saturn thought for a moment.

"Where is she right now?" he asked, defeated. Neptune grinned like a young boy in a candy shop.

"Last I saw she was helping to clean off the ink left from when Boss was in there." he winked. "Come on."

The two commanders made their way down to the room where they watched Mars yesterday, and peeked in through the window. Sure enough, Mars was there, scrubbing bright teal ink off the wall with a stained rag and a bucket of bleach. Neptune nudged him in the ribs.

"Go on, Romeo! Show her what you got!"

Saturn pushed away his bad feeling about this and pushed open the door, striding over to Mars, who hadn't realized his arrival yet. Some Grunts from the previous day watched with interest, waiting for another episode like the one before.

"Hey, haven't I seen you from somewhere?" he said smoothly, leaning against the wall next to Mars. She stiffened, then groaned.

"Yeah, that's why I try not to go there anymore." she answered, threw her rag down, then turned to face him. "What do you want?"

"I was just about to ask you the same thing." Saturn smirked and raised and eyebrow in a way he fashioned to be flirty. Mars was taken aback.

"You were?"

"Yeah." he said. The Grunts around him murmured amongst themselves, wondering what was going on. Why was there no hitting or shouting?

"You want a hot dog to go with those buns?" Saturn asked. Neptune, who was standing by the crack of the door, smirked widely. The female Grunts choked back surprised and the male Grunts wolf-whistled.

And Mars?

She bent over, picked up her bucket of beach and rag and went back to her scrubbing, trying to ignore the people and their many versions of shock. Saturn, however, took her non-violent actions as a good sign and pressed on.

"You know, if you were my sister, incest would be cool." he told her.

Half the Grunts were doubled over with laughter, just like Neptune, after they watched Mars turn her bucket upside-down over Saturn's head, bleach washing over him and not only ruining his clothes, but flattening his hair too, which was a task in itself. Not one person in Team Galactic had seen his hair move since the Meatloaf Incident, as they referred to it. They didn't talk about the Meatloaf Incident.

"If you were my brother, I'd put myself up for adoption." Mars spat, leaving Saturn standing there, peeking sadly at her from under the white bucket that still claimed his head to be its home. She turned on her heel and stomped out of the room, knocking the door into Neptune on her way out. He swore heavily and smacked his hands over his nose and pinched his eyes shut in pain as he sat on the floor. Mars heard and turned around and faced him, her hands o her hips.

"You," she bent at the waist and got her face close to his, her voice threatening. Neptune tried to take his attention off his throbbing nose and looked at her, holding back tears of pain. "I've noticed you around too. Don't go knocking ideas into his head, you hear?"

Neptune knew she knew. She knew what he was doing. He didn't like her tone of voice.

"Don't tell me what to do." he cringed.

"It's harder for girls to reach this status, you know that." she told him. "I didn't get here being a pansy. I worked hard for this job. Don't think I don't know what I'm talking about when I say that I could pull off your fingernails one by one and then shove them down your own throat."

She turned around and stalked back to her cubicle, leaving Neptune stunned and mildly frightened for his life.

Cyrus, of course, took this moment to arrive to check up on the progress of the cleaning. Neptune had to admit, Jupiter must have done a good job, because he looked much better.

"Neptune, off your ass." he snapped. "No slacking off."

Neptune scrambled to his feet and hurried off before he had the misfortune to hear Cyrus blow his top at Saturn.

"SATURN!" Cyrus barked, "What are you doing?! I don't tolerate goofing off in my company!"

"I'm sorry..." Saturn said quietly, bowing his head. Cyrus folded his arms and looked him up and down.

"Clean it up. And that entire wall is yours now." he told Saturn. "No lunch break."

The other Grunts all flinched at the Boss's harshness, but pretended like nothing happened when Cyrus turned around.

Saturn heaved a depressed sigh and filled his bucket with new bleach and started scrubbing, not even bothering to clean himself off. He wasn't even about to try anymore.

He began scrubbing.

Xxxx

Saturn was the only one left in the room by the time lunch rolled around. He was standing on a small stepladder, reaching up to the higher spots he missed before. His arms were tired, he needed a shower, and his uniform was fading rapidly at the intense application of bleach earlier. And to top it all off, he was starving.

He heard the door open and shut behind him, but he didn't turn around. Lunch was over, he guessed, and the employees were slowly coming back in to their work. He was happy for the small bit of fresh air that came in when the door opened. It helped with the intense smell of bleach that was slowly taking over the room.

"Hey, Ski Lift," a voice said. "get down from there."

Saturn, shocked senseless, fell backwards off the ladder and landed on his back, not really wanting to open his eyes and see the face above his, but he did anyway.

Commander Mars was standing there, two trays in her hands.

"I figured you could use a lunch." she said. "Since you haven't left this room since you came in this morning."

Saturn sat up and didn't look Mars in the eye. "What's with the sudden bout of kindness?"

"Well..." Mars started. "I feel kind of bad about earlier."

"You should." Saturn said bitterly, standing. "you killed my hair, suit, and any brownie points I had with the Boss."

"Hey!" Mars smacked him upside the head. "I'm being nice, so don't go off on a pity party here."

"I have every right to be bitter!" Saturn informed her. "I've suffered countless injuries and a bucket of bleach dumped over my head this week! I could die of that, you know!"

"With good reason! You wouldn't leave me alone, after I gave you hint after hint!" she snapped. "One bad line deserves another!"

Saturn narrowed his eyes. "You still didn't have to hit me or anything!"

"You know, for being a Commander in Team Galactic, you're a huge pansy." she noted. "You'd be the first to fall."

"I would not!" Saturn defended. "I'm plenty capable of defending myself!"

"Look, do you want this food or not?" Mars asked, tapping her foot. Saturn took the tray.

"Thank you." he said quietly. They both sat on the floor and ate quietly, not quite knowing what to say to break the awkward silence that covered them.

"You know, my name's not really Ski Lift." Saturn said suddenly. Mars didn't even look up from her sandwich.

"I know. It's Saturn, right?"

"Yeah." Saturn faced her. "How'd you know?"

"Venus was gossiping about you." she said. "For a slut, she's very useful for information."

"Wait, you wanted to know my name?"

"I wanted to know the name of the annoying guy who kept throwing himself at me." she said. "Which, by the way, doesn't take that much work."

"Oh?" Saturn looked over at her, completely shocked that they were having this conversation.

"Honestly. You think cheesy lines like that would work on me?"

"Well, that's what Neptune-"

"I don't want to know what Neptune said." Mars cut him off. "I want to know what Saturn thinks, not Neptune." Mars turned her head to face him. Her eyes matched her hair, Saturn noticed. He looked at her from under his thick bangs for a moment before slowly, almost hesitantly, he leaned in and kissed her.

He expected her to pull back quickly, to feel the hot sting of a slap on his cheek. But it didn't come. Mars pushed her tray off her lap and leaned in to Saturn, kissing back hungrily, using those years of experience under her belt. Mars had him in a lip-lock, but Saturn oddly didn't feel like fighting it that much.

Slowly, she pulled away. Saturn let out an impressed breath, and she giggled. He smiled.

"I don't think I've seen you smile." he said. "It's cute!"

"Hey, don't push your luck." she grinned, shoving him with her shoulder. Saturn laughed and picked up his tray, standing. Mars did the same, and they threw them away together. When that was done, Saturn faced her.

"Hey, Mars, would you hold something for me?" he asked. She raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

"I guess..." she said hesitantly and stuck out her hand. Saturn put his hand in hers and held it there, stroking her thumb with his. She laughed and shoved him with her free hand.

"Saturn, you're such a dork!" she giggled. Saturn laughed along, then nodded toward the door with his head.

"Hey, look! There's an exit; why don't you and I go out?"

"I would like nothing more." she said, heading out with him, her head on his shoulder. In the doorway, though, she spoke again.

"Don't think I've gone soft. I still wear the pants in this relationship."

"I thought you didn't wear pants?" Saturn asked, remembering day one.

"Well, that makes your job a lot easier, doesn't it?" she teased.

A/N: Sorry this was so long. But I love it! LOVE IT! Fear my obscure shipping love. Me Gusta!

So if you know the name of this Ship, that would be great. How did you like it? I have a newfound love for these two, so I want opinions.