That's the first thing people notice about me – I'm gorgeous with full-formed curves. Boys line up to give me flowers and candy, drooling and smirking. Other girls think I'm a shallow idiot, but I don't care. I just want to be adored. I'm the Diamond Fruitcake next to all the average Tiramisus and Chocolate Brownies. There are guys who would kill for a girl like me.
I'm excellent at getting what I want from people, and when they're done being useful, they are out of here. Crushing hearts is easy when you don't feel remorse for it. And you can get two for one now, people are so ridiculous and gullible. Just ask out some guy when you know a girl has a crush on him, then dump him when he gets in deep. They all know about my manipulative ways by now, but they all still pull me close and kiss me feverishly, even when they know from the start that their heart is made from bubblegum and I'm a big sharp needle just waiting to pop it.
I look as innocent as a rose, but really I'm the snake hiding underneath. All the guys think, I'll give her all my love, I'll just kiss her and she's all mine. Sugar pink lips that taste as bittersweet as vodka, that's me. I'm shiny and attractive on the surface, but with nothing underneath. Boys are like little kids and I'm the shiny multipack of bubblegum with the pretty cover in the newsagents' – they just can't resist, and they'll beg and plead until they get it. And they're always disappointed at the end of it. Yeah, that's me. I'm a bubblegum bitch.
My father's a plastic surgeon, so of course when opportunities present themselves I'll take them. Who wouldn't? I got opportunities and I took them. You would too. It's like a sugary drink. After one taste you can't get enough, and you keep drinking and drinking and drinking until you're lightheaded and dizzy. I've got goals, I'm going straight to Number 1 in everything.
One day I meet a boy. Within a week we're dating. Within a month we're exclusive. Within three months, we've separated. That's how it's always been, and how it will always be. I'm the Canadian Electra Heart. I'll never be tied down by one guy. It's just the way I am.
I'm getting faker and faker every single day, and I'm slowly losing friends and lackeys. My victims are growing wiser and stronger. My own parents don't even like me that much. I'm going to be my own biggest fan. Heck, the way things are looking, I'm going to be my only fan.
But it doesn't really matter. All girls are shallow and vain users. So at the end of the day, we're all bubblegum bitches who are going to pop your shiny pink heart. I'm not the only one. But that won't make it hurt any less.