I thought I should start with this, just to say. I do not own Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu, more commonly known as "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya". The title I used is also a name of a painting by Salvador Dali.

This was a bit like Konohara Narise-sensei's "Cold series". If ever you've read the series and seen the semblance of my story to Narise-sensei's, I can say that it was a bit of my inspiration. But some of the points here are not from the series itself. Some might have been while some are not.

I am not paid from somehow promoting Narise-sensei's work. And if ever you find my story displeasing, please refrain from thinking that Narise-sensei's work is also the same way as mine. We both have our own way of writing, thank you; so check it out or better yet buy it.

Profound Silence

It was then a month since I woke up from a profound slumber to know that every memory in my mind had been obliterated; the accident happened about half a year ago. Some told me a drunk had mowed towards the place I was standing on; some would say I was the one drunk and driving the car that mowed on the street full of people. Nevertheless the jam-packed lane had become a bloody mess in a second; a car and a truck had tangled in a one big mess of an accident. The doctors never told me if anyone died; what mattered most is that I'm alive.

But what's the meaning of a life whose past had been completely erased?

The breeze flowing to the window in a room situated at the fourth floor of a private hospital was soft and strong, the blankets forming deep creases with every blow. The curtain on the wide window was drawn back; each side tied tightly, the bottom only moving in with mild movements of the wind.

In my mind there was only me, a naked me hugging myself with my knees reaching up to my chins. I was in the middle of a wide, white room; an ankle-deep sea acts as a floor, to which no clarity is assured with every ripple in the water.

There was no sound aside from my laborious breath and gasps.

Ever since I woke up the day about a month ago, I can still remember the very first question that the doctors had asked:

"What is your name?"

And it was when I found out that I cannot recall anything, not even the first letter of my name. I had been unconscious for almost five months before I woke up on a hot, July afternoon. If not for Suzumiya-san I would have not known my name up to now. I was told by her that I am already in college, studying in Tokyo University, with philosophy as my major. But I cannot recall anything from my major; what I know was that I can somehow identify things that were of relevance to my past. I still don't know how that happened. Most importantly, I can read and write and understand most of the basic things that I see around. No one had to tell me what to say, or say that a dog is indeed a dog; I already know it. Somehow, from the depths of my brain, past experiences help me comprehend everything that I'm seeing.

As the clock ticked to its fourteenth hour, the door of my room opened, and a nurse came in for my daily medication.

She was smiling the whole time while she was administering the medicine. Lunch had been delivered earlier; it was nothing grand or nothing sparse. It consisted mostly of foods I needed to be able to move.

"Just a few days more inside this room and you will be able to go out again, Koizumi-kun. Doesn't that excite you?"

The nurse's smile was innocent, even sweet, and as she left me alone once more I pondered on her words from earlier. Go out again. Wait; shouldn't I be happier in my situation?

But I cannot feel the happiness sink in; I just nodded and said "Yeah, it does."

Suzumiya-san had not visited me for a whole three days. She told me that she had important examinations this week, which might mean she might not be able to come and visit me.

It was one month ago too, when I first saw Suzumiya-san.

Instantly my eyes saw that she was someone different from any girl. Yes, the two girls she was with that day also emanated their own kind of difference yet I was completely baffled by Suzumiya-san's aura. There was a glow coming from her, like she was another being sent from the heavens. Just talking about her makes me long for her; but I cannot admit the fact that what I might feel be love for her. It is not in my nature to fall in love so quickly; I know I have no right nor stand to say this, though I was just sure about this answer myself as if there was something, someone, inside me telling me of the answers.

…I hope the remaining days just fly by past. I badly wanted it to become weekend once again, because by weekend I'll be seeing Suzumiya-san once again.

The five days flew by so fast, it seems. As soon as I woke up and realized that it's Saturday, I barely managed my excitement. Of course, today was one of those days that I get to see her, the woman I liked, and she will be spending time with me with no less than four hours. Just thinking about it makes me happy.

As I walked the hallway for my daily exercise, I bumped into a guy who was presumably young as I was. Nodding apologetically, I said sorry for countless times before turning on my heels and walking away again.

Wait; there's something strange with that guy.

As I turned behind me to look at his face again, I saw that he was gone. Walking back and checking the corridor adjacent to the hallway I was walking on, with seeing he's not there, I decided to just let the stupid feeling go and resume exercising.

When I returned to my room, I saw Suzumiya-san already there, peeling apples and slicing them to bite-sized pieces. As soon as she saw me, I smiled, and walked slowly towards the bed. Today I'm going to tell her all of the activities I had non-stop, until she grows tired of listening to them. And after she grows tired of them, I'll listen to her stories as well, and react when it needs reaction, or anything. All I wanted was to have an interaction with Suzumiya-san. That alone is enough.

It was a week after that I got discharged. Today I'm in the convenience store for supplies. Of course I was now happy, excited even, for I wouldn't have to wait for Suzumiya-san to come to the hospital just for me to see her. I can always go to her place to see her and talk to her. Or maybe just waste time. All that matters is that I'm with Suzumiya-san.

Ring… Ringg…

Ah, what? I felt buzzing on my jacket, and as I reached on the pockets I realized that it was my phone. Was it a call from Suzumiya-san?

The phone was given to me by Suzumiya-san. She told me that it was originally mine. I seemed to have left it to her care before the accident happened. But, I cannot really understand how it works. It took me long enough to work out how to answer a call. I cannot handle messages until now. When I flipped it open, however, I saw that it was a call from Suzumiya-san nonetheless. Quickly I fumbled for the keys and pressed the phone near my ear.

"Hello?"

I waited, before a mechanical-like voice on the other end answered me. Of course there was a real human on the other end; it's just that through phones, I hear an artificial-sounding voice. I find it very disturbing.

"Koizumi-kun? Where are you right now?"

Looking around to see if she were by the shelves or in the other sections, I got disappointed to see she was not here. The basket I'm holding on to got heavy with sadness. I guess I will not be seeing her until the end of the day, perhaps?

"Ah, I'm in the convenience store, buying supplies."

"…Have you brought an umbrella with you?"

There's a hint of concern on her voice. Suzumiya-san acts like a mother to me. She constantly asks me about my health whenever we met. And now that I'm discharged, she's more curious than ever. Not that I mind though; in fact I was quite happy that she seems to care a lot about me.

But about the umbrella? I don't have one. After hearing my declaration I heard her heave a big sigh.

…And that was where I learned about the storm today.

As I started to walk towards the shelf where the cereals were, I bumped into a guy which caused the basket that I'm holding to fall. The contents spilled on the floor. The guy that bumped into me immediately helped pick up the groceries that fell. It's a good thing that there was no glass inside, or it would have been a hassle. As we finished he bowed and apologized and quickly left. I was left staring at him before I realized something.

…I think I've already seen that guy earlier.

After many minutes of contemplation, I realized that he was the same guy I bumped into last week while waiting for Suzumiya-san's visit. And that was not the only time I noticed him. Once, I saw him inside the elevator, on the hallway, in the chapel, at the cafeteria, at the garden, and then here. One can say that maybe he was taking care of a patient of his own. But seeing the coincidences pile up so suspiciously, I thought it might not be coincidence. I do not believe in coincidences anyway.

But why do I seem to not remember him every time I see him? Ah! Maybe, as time passed, I lost track of him in my mind. What I can only deduct from this is that he seems to be everywhere I go. Even at the hospital. I vaguely remember seeing him stand against the wall near my room every time Suzumiya-san would walk me on the hallways and the hospital's garden. And he is always looking at me.

I walk out of the convenience store with the bag of groceries in my hand. Suzumiya-san told me earlier that she will be going over my apartment to help me sort out things. After all, I've just been released from the hospital. She was not with me because she had stuff to do in her college. I guess she really had a hard program.

The apartment was really close to the convenience store, but I tried to walk the longer path, where there are lots of people. But as soon as I neared my place, the number of people thinned out, until I was the only one left walking under the purple sky.

…Guess what? Someone's following me.

I realized it earlier, after I exited the convenience store. I had seen him for so many times that I can somehow recognize his presence whenever he's around; and I haven't been wrong with my senses.

I stopped in my tracks, before walking again. I did this a number of times before I started walking real fast, but he seems to be catching up. As I walked slowly near a parked car, I viewed the figure following me in the car's rearview mirror. There was no mistake; it was him.

And he was looking directly at me like it was natural.

Until now, he is still looking at me with those eyes that long for me. It displeases me; knowing for the fact that this person seemed to take pleasure in just watching my every movement. Partaking in this experience, especially since I'm the one being watched, it is not a very pleasant feeling.

And now, feeling his presence behind me is not the greatest feeling at all in the world. Right now I'm utterly pissed off by his movements that I cannot stop the urge to tell him what I feel.

"I find the thought thoroughly displeasing, the thought that you were merely following me harmlessly. I dare not believe that in every step you are taking there are no hidden motives, in which were obscured possibly from my physical senses. What was it in me that you find so attractive that you cannot seem to let go of even my barest presence?"

I snapped. There was no answer; instead, I heard a sudden stop of footsteps as I stopped on my tracks. A choked sob followed further, leaving me with the curiosity to turn and have a look at the person consistently following me ever since I've left the hospital room. But I did not try to turn to the person following me, yet, but there was little space and little time between us. There are only a handful of sentences left before I snap and turn to face him.

"As you can see, I'm as patient as a child going on about the tantrums in life. I should never have tolerated this much further; your mere presence makes me wholly concerned and sick to the innermost corner of my bones. What do you see in me anyway? What did I do in the past to make you as persistent as you are now?"

There was still no answer. A vein erupted in my forehead. Lightning flashed above our heads. I barely recall a forecast about a storm signal due today. There was still no movement behind me, nor do I try to make the first move on anything. But patience is something that I am not good at. As I grumpily turned and faced the man who was persistently following me, the sky growled with the thunder. An oncoming storm is up ahead.

…to be continued

Before anything else, Joyeux Noël et Bonne Année. I hope I'm right; I am still trying to learn French on my own, as to not waste my French blood any longer.

I was kind of thinking how Koizumi and Kyon should meet up in this story. Since Koizumi "had no recollection" of Kyon, it will be stupid to use the same "you knew me! I love you!" phrase. Ha ha, it sounds both stupid and lame. So I somehow just made Kyon a stalker. Isn't it cute? Both of them are tormented by the situation.

…Yes, the unknown guy is Kyon. I think half or more reading this had it already figured out. It just appeared like it was not Kyon due to the fact that Koizumi still haven't met him in his one-month memory.

But being stalked is as bad as it sounds. It was not a very nice feeling. So I guess it will not be easy on Kyon's part to win Koizumi back.

Anyway, just read and review, okay? Click the blue hyperlink and give me a decent review. I need to know my flaws. Any good criticism will do.