Ten minutes ago, my life was perfect.
I stood looking over the gateroom. Behind me Rodney and Zelenka argued, half in Czech, which Rodney has picked up remarkably quickly. It's the only way he knows what Zelenka's saying about him. Teyla and Ronan had gone through the gate together, on of their adventures. I feel it's best I don't know what goes on during these little expeditions of theirs. As long as they come back, that's all I ask. I could hear Carson interfering in Zelenka's and Rodney's little scrap.
And beside me, as always, was John. Always as close as he can get. Touching me, just lightly, so I'm barely aware of it. Constantly beside me, only a glance away. He was teasing me, joking, in that irresistible drawl of his. Glancing up at me, in that half-sheepish way he has, as if he's afraid he might have gone too far, but likes pushing me anyway. He was turning to face me, and looking into my eyes, and there was nothing in my mind but him and me.
I love having him there. Love looking around and seeing him watching me, meeting his eyes and knowing what he's thinking. I love the way he always tries to make me laugh. When everything around me is falling to pieces and disaster looms, he makes me smile. It's a rare and precious gift. I love the way...I love everything he does. It's as simple as that. I took a long time learning that lesson, but I know it by heart now.
Seven minutes ago the gate spun up, unexpectedly. I called my orders out to the men and women behind me, and watched the gate. Beside me, John stiffened, reaching for his gun. I was concerned, but not afraid. I've learnt that I'm safe if John is around. He won't let anything happen to me.
And I'll die before I let anything happen to him.
Five minutes ago the force shield keeping the gate closed failed, and it sprang open, the finger of blue fire reaching out into the gateroom, reaching out for us. John shoved me behind him as he ran to the stair leading down to the gate, but never suggested I leave. He knows better than that by now.
Four minutes ago, tense with waiting, we saw them come through the gate. I don't know who they were, or how they got here. I know what they wanted.
Atlantis.
Three minutes ago John killed three of them, and took my hand as we ran to the steps. The soldiers from above covered us as we ran, but more things streamed through the gate, and we found ourselves pinned down. We turned back to face them.
Two minutes ago, John took a bullet meant for me. He stepped in front of me before I could stop him, and he fell to the floor in front of me. I dropped to my knees, cradling his head in my hands, telling him it's be okay, he'd be fine. I looked up for Carson, but he was already dead, on the stairs, shot as he rushed down to help us.
One minute ago, John's eyes darkened. He'd been struggling to say something, right to the very end, something important, but his throat was choked with blood, and he couldn't get the words out. But his eyes were always more eloquent than his voice and I knew what he was trying to say.
He was sorry.
He'd failed me.
He loved me.
I told him I knew, and he hadn't failed, and I loved him too, but my own throat was thick with tears, and I didn't make any sense. His hand tightened on mine, and then his eyes darkened, and his hand let go of mine.
Ten seconds ago, I felt the gun barrel press to my head, and I know I am about to die. I hug John to my chest. His blood is still flowing, and his body still warm, just for a second longer. I'll die with him.
Ten minutes ago, I expected a happy ending. John and I, together, forever
In a way, I was right.