Chapter 1
Lily could not believe what had just happened to her. Just a few hours before her life had been perfect. How could one detention change her life so drastically? Earlier that day she had gotten a detention from Professor Hanson, the newest DADA teacher, for talking to Remus in class about his "monthly problems". Lily figured out Remus was a werewolf at the beginning of their third year. Ever since then they had become close friends. Lily helped Remus brew a strong pain killing potion before every one of his transformations.
Even though Lily talked to Remus a lot she never really talked to James, Sirius or Peter. Peter gave her the creeps. He always looked like he was hiding something. But on the other hand James and Sirius were pretty nice to her. She was too shy to talk to them for the most part, but if she was in the room they would always say 'hi' and try to get her to laugh. It didn't take too much to get lily to laugh when you put James and Sirius together.
After they had found out about Remus they still stayed friends with him and even made up some wild stories about why he was gone once a month. The funny thing was that people actually believed their stories. Mostly because they were the most popular boys in the whole school and all the girls would take any chance to talk to them, even if it was about a horrifying disease that they thought up for that month. The stories were anything thing from him having chicken pox to him sleep walking and getting lost in the forbidden forest.
After the so called detention Lily ran crying hysterically back to the common room. On her way back she ran in to a person she least expected to see, James.
"What's the matter Lil?" James asked. He was the only person that called her Lil, in a way it always comforted her. When he looked down to help Lily up, he was shocked to see her crying. Her usually tame hair was a mess and her make-up was smeared all over her face from all the tears. She never cried, well at least not in front of anyone. Not even the time Malfoy hit her square in the back with a buldger in quidditch practice one day. It knocked her right off her broom and she fell a good 25 feet before she hit the ground. Not a tear escaped from her eyes. She just got up, brushed herself off, jumped back on her broom, and chased Malfoy around the pitch the rest of the day shooting spells at him. It was pretty funny to watch Malfoy run from a girl, especially one who was half his size.
"Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going." Lily said wiping the tears from her eyes trying desperately to get them to stop falling but they wouldn't, they just kept coming. She brushed herself off and tried to go around James but his quick reflexes stopped her.
"Lily, what's the matter? Did Tommy do something to hurt you? If he did I'll hex him into next week." Lily let out a small smile. James, Remus and Sirius were like her big brothers. They always watched out for her. They felt like they had to protect her because she was so petite. Lily was only 5 foot 3. She was small but people knew not to mess with her because of her temper or the fright of being hexed by James, Sirius or Remus. James was 6 foot 3 and built from Quidditch, Sirius was 6 foot 1 and built from competing with James on who had bigger muscles, Remus was 6 foot and was naturally muscular because of being part wolf and finally Peter was 5 foot 6 and just round all over. He never really had to "protect" lily. When she first started dating Tommy Fletcher she noticed one of the three were always around her. She couldn't even go on dates by herself. One of them would find a reason why they had to go to. It didn't bother her too much though. She liked the fact that they cared for her that much. They lightened up a lot since her first date with Tommy. Now they'd even let her go to Hogsmade with him and without one of them or so she thought. Lily had been dating Tommy for 6months now and the boys have finally gotten to the point where they trust him somewhat.
"No, it didn't have anything to do with Tommy." She tried to go around him again but he blocked her once again. "Please let me go. It's late and I need to get some sleep."
"Not until you tell me what's wrong. Now spill and why are you out this late?"
"Let me go now! I don't want to talk about it." Lily screamed at James, who in turn let her by out of pure shock. James stood in shock in the deserted hallway. He couldn't believe Lily had just yelled at him. She never yelled at him for being protective before. He just walked back up to the common room worrying about what had lily so stressed out. She didn't even stop crying when she had yelled at him.
In the Common Room
"Hey James, where's all the food? I'm starving." Sirius asked on the end of the feathery, crimson couch sprawled out.
"I totally forgot about it. I was on my way down to the kitchens when out of no where Lily came running down the hallway crying her eyes out. When I tried to find out what was wrong she just yelled at me and ran back here. Did you see her come in?" James asked a little worried something might have happened to her on her way back. He took a seat at the other end of the couch, staring into the fire, still trying to figure out what had happened to her.
"Yeah, she came running through here about 10 minutes ago to get something then left. She just came in and bolted up the stairs, didn't say a word to me. Actually, I don't even know if she saw me sitting here. Now that you say that she did look a little stressed… so does that mean you didn't get the food?"
"No, I didn't get the food. I was a little preoccupied." James snapped "Ask Remus if you can have one of his snack bars. He usually has them for when he gets home late and is too weak to sneak to the kitchens."
"I'll try that." Sirius said not even acknowledging the raise in James voice "Do you think Tommy had anything to do with it? If he did I'll kill him." Sirius asked as he was walking towards the stairs.
"I don't think he did. I asked her but she said he didn't and tried to get past me. What did she do tonight? I don't remember seeing her after dinner now that I think of it."
"She had detention with Professor Hanson. But that wasn't until 9 o'clock. Maybe she went somewhere with Tommy after dinner and he did do something, but she just said it didn't have anything to do with him, because she knew we would hurt him. You said she was crying! She never cries. Remember the time Malfoy hit her in the back with the buldger and she spent the rest of the game trying to hex him." Sirius had a look on his face of pure entertainment. "Man good times. I've never seen him fly so fast." Sirius said rambling on a bit.
"Yeah, but what could Tommy have done to make her cry so much. Her detention was at 9 and she ran into me at midnight. So she couldn't have been crying from some time after dinner, through detention, and till now. That would mean she would have been crying for at least 3 hours. Lily never cries. What about the detention would make her so upset?" James said rubbing his forehead and leaning back to sink into the couch.
"I don't know but there's not much we can do about it now. We'll just have to get it out of her in the morning. Plus I'm hungry and tired and I need sleep for tomorrow. Dumbledore said if I fall asleep in one more class I would have detention for 2 weeks straight. Are you coming up?" Sirius asked walking up the stairs.
"Yeah, I'll be up in a second."
At breakfast the next morning
"Sirius, Remus did you guys see Lily come down for breakfast yet? I'm worried about her." James asked scanning the room for a certain red head.
"Why, what happened? Did I miss something?" Remus asked confused. James and Sirius filled him in on what happened last night and some of their suggestions of what might have happened. "You actually saw her cry! I still can't get over that. Well Professor Hanson is really mean, especially in detention. Maybe he made her clean the toilets with a tooth brush or something? That would make me cry. Should I go check on her?" Remus suggested.
"No, she hates cleaning but not enough to cry over it. I'll go to see if she is still in her room. Maybe she'll talk to me then. No offense Remus, but you don't look too good. You should ask Dumbledore for the day off." James walked up to Lily's prefect room. She had given him the password earlier in the year so he could hide from the teachers when he was going down for a midnight snack. Her saying was 'if your going to do something wrong then do it right'. Lily's room was close to the kitchens so if a teacher was coming he would just slip in her room unnoticed. It had saved him on a few occasions. He slipped silently into her room just in case she hadn't woken up yet.
"Lil? Are you asleep? You're going to miss breakfast if you don't get up. Lily?" James whispered as he got moved to her bed. She was curled up in a ball facing the other way so he couldn't see the tears silently rolling down her face and the dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep. "You have to get up-" James said shaking her a little.
"Don't touch me! It hurts." Lily screamed and moved away as soon as James touched her hip. James jumped back in surprise and upset that his touch had hurt lily. He would never intentionally harm her.
"Lil, it's just me. James. I won't hurt you. I promise." James said reassuringly. He walked around to the other side of the bed to see her.
"James don't! Stay where you are." Lily ordered. "I don't want you to see me like this."
"Lily, what's wrong with you. Why where you crying last night. What happened? Why can't I see-" James asked ignoring her protest and going to the other side of the bed, but he was speechless when he saw her face. It was tear stained and had a couple scratches on it. The red scratches stood out from her pale, freckled face. He hadn't noticed those last night. "What the HELL happened to you?" James yelled surprised, as he came closer to see all of the scratches. He pushed back her hair to see all of them on her cheeks. "Sorry, it shocked me. Who did this to you!"
"I can't tell you. He said if I told anyone he would hurt me more next time." Lily whispered trying to hide her face from James.
"You better tell me. It'll be for the best."
"I can't. He can get to me whenever he wants. I don't want him to know. Plus if he found out I told you, then you could be in danger too. I don't want to put you in danger."
"I can take care of myself. He can't get to you. I'll protect you-"
"YES, he can. He got to me last night. He can do it again. You won't be able to stop him. He can keep you, Sirius and Remus away from me."
"Just tell me is this 'he' Tommy?"
"No, it's not Tommy. By the way don't tell him about this. I don't want him knowing too. He's too emotional."
"Who was it? Was it after your detention with Professor Hanson?" Lily flinched at his name. "So it had something to do with him?" Lily didn't say anything; she just tried to hide her face again as the tears started coming down again as the facts of last night went rolling through her mind. "What did he do to you?" James asked as he carefully as took a seat on her bed next to her making sure not to move her. "I won't tell anyone. I promise." James said as sincerely as he could.
"I told you I can't say. He'll get to me again. He already hurt me once I don't want it happening again. Once was more than enough." Lily whispered.
"Can you show me what he did? Lil, you need help. You can't just stay here the rest of school. Please at least show me what he did." Lily seemed to be thinking this over and after what seemed like an eternity to James Lily sat up slowly, wincing every once in a while, rolling up her sleeves to revile giant, black, and blue bruises all over her arms. James was speechless. He couldn't believe anyone would want to do this to such an innocent, little girl. He reached out to touch on of the bruises but she pulled away before he could. It didn't stop at that. Then, lily pulled the covers off her legs to show more scratches and bruises. "Why?" That was the only word James could get out.
"There's more but I can't show you." Lily said with her head down so he couldn't see her. James reached out and lifted her head with his fingers.
"Why do you keep looking away from me?"
"I'm ashamed of myself. I feel nasty no matter how much I scrub in the shower. I hurt everywhere. I can't sleep. He's always in my dreams. I don't know what to do. Help me."
"Go to the hospital wing. She can give you dreamless sleep potion."
"No, I can't she'll ask too many questions. You're the only one that knows and please keep it that way. I don't want anyone else to know. James, please help me." Lily pleaded.
"I'll do anything. So I guess you're not going to classes today. I mean we do have double DADA today. I'll get your homework. I won't tell anyone. I promise. Just tell me one more thing. Did he…" the words seemed stuck in his throat."…rape you?" Lily just stared at James as even more tears started rolling down her face. "I'm so sorry. How? Why? I don't get it." James said as he pulled her into a tight hug and put her on his lap like a doll, but being careful of her soreness.
"No, I want to be by myself for right now. But will you come back up after dinner so we can talk more and I don't want to be alone? I know I shouldn't tell you but I need to tell someone. Don't let him know that I told you. He'll just give me another detention and…" Lily trailed off. Now she was just tracing the outlines of her bruises on her legs. James put his hand on her hand to let her know that he'd always be there for her.
"I'll be back after dinner, I promise. It's going to be hard for me not to leap at him when I see him though. I could probably take him too." This made lily smile just a bit knowing she would be taken care of. "I'll see you after dinner then." James said as he started walking to the door but stopped "Lil?"
"Yeah."
"I really am sorry I let this happen to you."
"How could you know it was going to happen? Don't blame yourself; I have to grow up sometime. You can't protect me everywhere I go"
"I know but…I wish I could." James said leaving and placing a charm on the room so no one could find it just in case anyone had any ideas of trying to hurt his lily.
Later In Lily's Room
"Lil, you awake?" James whispered as he entered her room with a tray of food for her.
"Yeah, I'm awake." Lily said sitting up a little bit in her bed still not able to move much. Her thighs and back hurt badly from 'him' forcing her on the table.
"I got you some dinner if you're hungry. It was hard not telling Remus and Sirius about it. They know something is wrong but they don't know what. They wanted come up later to talk to you. I talked them out of it though. They almost strangled me when I showed up to class without you. They thought you were missing or something. You know you're like our little sister. We get scared when you're hurt." James explained sorrowfully. "Professor Hanson-"Lily flinched again. "Sorry…the bastard didn't even seem fazed today. He was the exact same. Even when he called your name and you were gone, his facial expressions or tone of voice didn't change. I think he might have done that to other girls too. It seemed like it was an every day occurrence for him or something."
"He ruined my life and he didn't change at all." Lily said expressionless. "He has no heart. I would expect that from a Malfoy but at least not from him. He's a teacher" James set the tray down on her dresser and went to sit next to her. Lily wiped away some tear that started to fall. "I tried to take a shower today but I couldn't even get to the bathroom; the pain seems to get worse the more I lay here. How could anyone do that to someone? I tried sleeping but I kept getting night mares that he was coming after me again."
"Lily, listen to me. He will never get to you again. I won't let him." James reassured her. "Your muscles are probably getting sore from sitting in bed all day. You should try to walk around later, just a little bit.
"But what if he gives me another detention when I get back to class? What will I do then?" Lily asked worried.
"Well, you should tell someone, at least tell Dumbledore about him. But if you do get a detention, I'll make sure me or one of the guys gets one with you. I'll make it to where he'd have to give us some type of punishment that night."
"I don't think that would work. He would find some way. And no I don't want anyone knowing. I'm not even going to tell Dumbledore and you won't either. I don't want people knowing how stupid and helpless I am-"Lily was in frenzy at this point.
James cut her off there. "You're not stupid or helpless. There was nothing you could have done." He told her in a stern voice. "He's bigger than you and I know you tried everything to get out of there. I'm sorry for not being there with you, but I'm here with you now and I will help in every way I can. That's starting by making sure you're eating." James got up and got the tray of food from dinner "Here, you have to eat something. You haven't eaten all day you must be starving."
"No, I had a few snacks in my drawer that I ate earlier. But thank you for the thought." Lily lied. She had not eaten at all and was starving but 'the bastard' had said something about how she needed to put on weight. So now she felt that if she lost weight he wouldn't like her and wouldn't ever do anything to her ever again. She was already pretty skinny and she knew that someone would notice if she lost any weight but she was willing to risk it. She was only 110 pounds and for a girl that's 5 foot 3, that isn't much.
James put the tray down and sat back down next to her bed. "You know," Lily paused debating on weather she should tell James more about it or not. "At first I didn't think anything of it. I mean he would come over to where I was cleaning the counters and just put his hand on my back and look over my shoulder. I thought he was just looking at how I was cleaning and looking for spots I missed. I felt something was wrong but I just kept ignoring it." This was hard for lily to say but she knew it would feel better once she told someone all of the truth. It was like having a secret and not being able to tell anyone. At one point in time you just have to tell it. She took a deep breath and continued while James just waited patiently.
"After I was done cleaning I went up to his desk to let him know. He said I could go after he looks at my job." Lily took another deep breath to stop the tears already forming in her dry eyes "So he went over to the counters looking for anything I missed. Then he turned around, said I did a good job but I still needed to stay for one more thing…" Lily stopped for a while trying to hold back the tears.
"It's ok, take your time. I know this is hard, but I'm here for you." James calmed her down and putting her in his lap again and slowly rubbing circles on her back. Lily eased a bit at his touch and leaned more of her weight on him for support.
"All the sudden he started moving towards me at a fast pace. I thought he was going to yell at me for missing a spot but instead he grabbed my wrist. I tried to keep away from him but he had already got a good grip on my wrist. He pushed me up against the wall so hard that it knocked the wind out of me. The next thing I knew he was on top of me on one of the tables, holding me down by my arms, I don't know how long I had been blacked out for but, all I had on was my bra, underwear and skirt, when I looked up he was reaching down to…to…-" Lily stopped again while the whole night replayed in her head.
"Lil, you don't have to tell me anymore-"James said sympathetically realizing how much pain this was causing her.
"Yes I do! You have to know what happened! It's just hard to say." Lily insisted. James just waited till she was ready again. "He started kissing me on my lips and neck. The only thing I could think of doing was kneeing him. I wiggled quickly to try to get my knee free but he was too strong. So I tried yelling as loud as I could but one of his hands reached up to shut my mouth, the other one held a small razor blade. After that there was nothing I could do. Every time I would cry, move, scream or anything that he didn't like he would either cut me or hit me. I don't think he meant to hit my face though. He just got the feeling like he was in control, which he was. I was helpless. I just had to lay there and wait for it to be over. I don't even know if he used a condom. James, I don't want to be pregnant." Lily's face was tear-stained at the end of her story. All James could think of doing was comforting her until everything was fixed.
"Lil, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you." After that they just sat there, James rocking lily, who was curled up in a ball asleep. At 1:00 in the morning James tried to gently move lily off his lap so he could go to his dorm and get some sleep.
"James," Lily whispered with her eyes still closed "Please stay. I would feel much safer if you stayed. Please."
"I will, if it will help you feel better. I'll do anything." James finished moving Lily to her side of the bed, took off his school uniform which he was still in to where he was only wearing his trousers and undershirt, and got in on the other side of the bed. As soon as he laid down Lily cuddled up next to him and laid her head on his chest. He put a protective arm around her to let her know he would always be there. "You're safe now." James whispered in her ear and with that she snuggled in closer and fell into a dreamless sleep.
The Next Morning
James woke up to see Lily practically lying on top of him. Her fiery red hair was a mess all over his chest and all of her make up came off from her crying last night. But even with her hair messed up and no make up on, she still looked beautiful to him. "I love you Lily Evans and I will do anything to keep you safe." James whispered into her big mess of hair. He knew from that night on that he would go to any length to keep her in safety. Little did he know that soon he would give his life to protect her and their son. Lily secretly heard what James said but pretended to still be sleeping. She liked sleeping with him; she trusted him and knew he would never hurt her. He kept her warm all night and took all her night mares away. She just wanted to stay like this for a little bit longer, classes didn't start for another hour.
"Another day is going by, I'm thinking about you all the time. But you're out there and I'm here waiting. And I wrote this letter in my head cuz so many things were left unsaid, but now you're gone and I can't think straight. This could be the one last chance to make you understand
I'd do anything just to hold you in my arms To try to make you laugh cuz somehow I can't put you in the past. I'd do anything just to fall asleep with you. Will you remember me? Cuz I know I won't forget you. Together we broke all the rules dreaming of dropping out of school and leave this place and never come back. So now maybe after all these years if you miss me, have no fear I'll be here I'd do anything just to hold you in my arms to try to make you laugh cuz somehow I can't put you in the past. I'd do anything just to fall asleep with you. Will you remember me? Cuz I know I won't forget you.
I'll be waiting. This could be the one last chance to make you understand and I just can't let you leave me once again.
I'd do anything just to hold you in my arms to try to make you laugh cuz somehow I can't put you in the past. I'd do anything just to fall asleep with you. Will you remember me? Cuz I know I won't forget you. I'd do anything to fall asleep with you I'd do anything there's nothing I won't do. I'd do anything to fall asleep with you I'd do anything cuz I know I won't forget you"
I close my eyes and all I see is you I close my eyes I try to sleep I can't forget you and I'd do anything for you.
The End
A/N: Hope you liked the short story. Please review and check out my other fics. Thanks!