(( Welcome to the first chapter of the rebirth, this may be the last story in the worth the risk series, it all depends on you the fans if I get enough reviews or requests for more then I will make another story after this one I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own
Warning: slash, swearing, etc
Thank you again Peppe for betaing this story, and thank you to my fans for sticking with this story
Chapter 1: Crystal Heart
"Peter, are you sure about this?" Elizabeth asked in a worried tone as she followed Peter outside to his car. The FBI agent turned around and smiled softly at his wife as he loaded another bag into the back of his car. He turned around and put his hands on her shoulders before pulling her into a hug.
"Neal's doctor said he needs to relax… and to get away from everything that's causing his insomnia and the panic attacks. He's close to a mental breakdown, and I'll do anything to help him get better," Peter replied vehemently as he closed the trunk and walked back into the house with Elizabeth.
Elizabeth loved Neal just as much as her husband only she felt more of a motherly connection to the young con and she wanted him to recover and once again be their lovable playful friend. "And you feel that you can accomplish this task by taking him to our cabin in the Catskills?" she asked as she grabbed her coffee off the dining room table.
Nodding his head Peter grabbed his mug and sipped his coffee "Oh, yes I have no doubt that a few weeks at the cabin and Neal will be back trying my patience and conning you for your affection. Now I have the car packed with all the supplies we will need and I do remember there is that country store a few miles away that we can stock up at if we forgot anything. I've got enough clothing and gear to last us a week before we have to do laundry. I've got bread, bacon, eggs, plus hot dogs and I even packed chocolate bars, marshmallows and graham crackers to make s'mores plus a few other things," replied Peter as he sipped his coffee.
"Did you pack some of Neal's favorite wine; you know he doesn't like the type that has a screw on lid?" Elizabeth asked as she looked through one of the fully packed boxes of canned food and wine bottles. Peter smirked "Yes… I had Mozzie give me a list of his favorites that weren't too expensive and I brought myself some beer. I have several canned meats packed if we run out of the other food," Peter said with a smile.
Looking in the box "You did pack something other than deviled ham didn't you, you know that Neal doesn't like it," she said picking through the box. "I packed tuna and salmon and I'm sure he'll be able to handle that. He's picky but not that picky and I did pack some deviled ham for myself," Peter said as he finished his coffee.
Elizabeth smiled as she watched her husband finish packing the food box with a few extra cans of tuna for Neal's sake. "So how did Neal take it when you told him about going on a vacation with you? I would imagine he would be ecstatic at the chance to be alone with you for a few weeks," Elizabeth remarked with a smirk.
Peter looked up from the box. "Well to be honest with you…he doesn't know yet, I thought I would surprise him," he said with a smirk as he picked the box up and carried it out to the car. Elizabeth laughed softly as she followed behind Peter. Once the car was fully packed Peter kissed his wife "I'll call you when we get up there, see you later Hon," Peter said as he got into the car and drove off. "I can't wait to hear how it goes" Elizabeth said to herself as she grabbed the paper off the front steps and walked back inside to get ready for work that day.
Peter pulled up in front of June's after dealing with the morning traffic he was glad to be there after killing the engine he got out of his car and met June at the door. "I think it's just wonderful that you're taking Neal away for a while he needs to get out of the house. He's kept himself in his room for so long I'm getting worried that he's becoming a shut in," June said as she let Peter inside.
Nodding his head Peter walked to the staircase "I'm going get him back to normal or as close to normal as he's ever been" Peter promised as he ascended the stairs and walked to Neal's door. Opening the door Peter found Neal curled up on the couch watching a movie on his television. Neal jumped when he heard the door open.
"You nearly scared me to death," Neal said as he looked at his partner his face covered with light stubble and dark circles under his eyes. Peter walked around the couch and lifted Neal's feet up and moved them off the couch. With a smile Neal moved so he was sitting up and looking at the agent. "What are you doing here anyway?" the ex con asked as he gave a long yawn. "I'm taking you on a little trip for a few weeks, you need to get out of the city and just relax… and I've decided to take you camping in the Catskills, just the two of us," Peter said as he watched for Neal's reaction.
Neal felt his eyes grow wide "Camping…in the woods… just you and me… I don't know I've never been camping before and I don't think tents and I go together very well," Neal said apprehensively as he sat back a bit. Peter chuckled at the reaction. "Oh did I forget to mention we're staying in a cabin that El and I own it was originally my father's so I know the area well, so get dressed and shave, throw on a pair of sneakers and pack an extra pair and let's go," Peter said as he got up from the couch and pulled Neal to his feet.
The first thing he looked at were the semi faint surgery scars on Neal's chest, he knew the ex con has grown self conscious about them even though they were fading away nicely. He lightly touched the still dark scar over Neal's heart for a moment before pulling away when he saw Neal fidget uncomfortably under his touch, it had been nearly a week and still Neal was uncomfortable with any type of intimate touch. "We have a long drive ahead of us and I would like to not be caught in traffic too long," Peter remarked as he sat back down on the couch and watched Neal dig around for jeans and a tee shirt. Not wasting any time Neal pulled the shirt on over his head before putting his jeans on and padding over to Peter with bare feet. "So how did you manage to get the marshals to agree to let me go out of my appointed two mile radius?" Neal asked as he smiled his most charming smile trying to hide his uncomfortable feeling.
Giving a sigh Peter knew his perfectly timed schedule was out the window "I told them that your doctor said you had to get away and that there was no chance you would run but they insisted that I bring something to wear that serves as your central point meaning you can't go more than a mile from me without yours going off. Now I'm going to tell you only one more time, get your shoes on and let's go we have a long drive ahead of us," he said as he attempted to hurry Neal along. Neal sighed as he reluctantly headed for his walk in closet to finish dressing and pack his essentials. After digging around he found his sneakers and a duffle bag.
Neal quickly packed a couple sweaters, his toothbrush and toothpaste, and when he was sure that Peter wasn't looking he opened a secret drawer and pulled out a small stack of twenties equaling five hundred dollars which he shoved into a pair of wool socks before hiding the socks under the sweaters and a few more shirts before putting a few more shirts in the bag along with a few pairs of jeans and undergarments as well. As he walked out of the hall Neal came face to face with Peter. "All done, well come on I thought you wanted to get going?" Neal asked trying to keep Peter from getting suspicious about his things.
Not questioning the look Neal was giving Peter took the bag and walked downstairs with Neal so they could say their goodbyes to June who smiled at Neal. "Now I know you two will want this for when you wake up," she said handing Neal a paper bag filled with bags of her Italian roast coffee that she knew both men would loved. "I hope you both enjoy your vacation," June added as she gave Neal a small hug before they left. Peter unlocked his car and put Neal's bag in the backseat. "Did you remember your pills with you in case of a panic attack?" Peter asked when saw Neal grin and excuse himself to run back up to his apartment. When Neal returned he held up the small bottle and shook it to show how full it was. Peter rolled his eyes as they got into the car and started the engine.
Neal buckled his seatbelt and looked out the window as they drove away from June's. Peter glanced at Neal when they pulled up to a stoplight Neal hadn't begun playing with the radio a sure sign he was alright. When he looked he found Neal looking out the window lost in his own thoughts or drifting off to sleep. As he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel a few times until the light turned green, they pulled away from the light and began their journey north.
Peter glanced at the bottle in Neal's hands a few times as he drove he noticed the bottle had barely been touched. "Are your panic attacks getting better? Or are just not taking your medication?" Peter asked even though he was worried about answer. Neal looked at the bottle in his hands for a moment before speaking "I don't like them they make me feel light headed so I stopped taking them, I know you're going to say I'm being stupid and I need to cowboy up but I hate feeling so lost in my own mind," Neal remarked as he dropped the small bottle in the open space behind the gear shift. Peter shook his head a bit. "Neal the medication is here to help you, I'm telling you now that this now that the next time you need them you are going to take them because if you don't I will hold you down and force them down your throat," he remarked sternly as he drove.
After they made it through the city traffic they crossed into New Jersey and moved north toward New York State. Neal watched the large cities and towns begin to shrink, as the time stretched on Neal nodded off and slept with his head against the passenger window. Peter gave a small smile when he saw that Neal was resting. He knew his partner wasn't sleeping well at all, June said Neal has been avoiding sleep like the plague and I can see that it is true, Peter thought as he drove for an hour before he pulled up to a gas station after shutting the engine off before getting out of the car and closing the car door as quietly as possible to let Neal sleep longer. After he was sure Neal was asleep Peter checked the tire pressure and the oil level before he went into the small market to use the restroom and get a soda.
Returning to the car Peter unlocked the door and got in, glancing at the clock on the radio he smiled at the fact that they were making good time and that they would arrive at the cabin in another hour. Starting the car up again Peter pulled away from the gas station and continued on their journey. As they drove up the county roads Peter kept a close eye out for the turn off into the mountains. Neal groaned as he rubbed his eyes a bit before he shifted a bit and went back to sleep. Another hour passed by slowly as Peter and Neal drove the twisting mountain roads, Peter turned into the driveway and began to drive up the hill to the house. When they arrived Peter pulled into the garage before cutting the engine and unbuckling his seat belt.
Peter popped the trunk and got out of the car he wanted to unpack some of the boxes before he woke Neal up, he grabbed a couple bags and walked through the door and up the stairs to the first floor. He dumped the bags on the floor before heading back to the car to grab the boxes of food he brought up to the cabin. Making another trip upstairs Peter put the box down on the counter. As he went back down to the car Peter looked around the cluttered basement and remembered all the times he came up to the cabin in the past with his family and with Elizabeth. "I should wake Neal, that way we can unpack the car quickly before I make him take a nap," Peter said to himself as he walked into the garage and found Neal missing from the passenger seat.
Worried that Neal made a run for it Peter walked out of the garage and found Neal looking at the lake below the house. Walking up behind Neal Peter cleared his throat so as not to startle the younger man. "So what do you think?" he asked hoping Neal would like the view. Smiling at the view of the lake and mountains Neal turned around "It's very relaxing, I can't hear anything other than nature… it's very nice," Neal said already missing the sounds of the city already.
Neal put his hands in his pockets before heading back to the car and grabbing his bag from the trunk "You'll have to show me around," Neal said as he put the strap from his bag over his shoulder. Peter walked over to the open trunk and grabbed the last two bags before closing the trunk and leading Neal into the basement and up the stairs to the first floor. "Well here is the living room slash dining room slash kitchen, the deck wraps around the front and side of the house with an eastern view of the lake and the sun in the morning looks wonderful on the water…maybe you could draw the sunrises over the water," Peter suggested as he watched Neal put his bag down and walk out onto the deck and look at the view.
"How would I do that I didn't bring any supplies with me and I'm pretty sure any country store around here won't have what I need," Neal said as he turned around and came face to face with Peter. Peter chuckled and pointed to a large box beside a new easel and a wide range of pre-mounted canvases of different sizes and a small stack of sketch books and pads of different sizes ."I think that might be exactly what you need to work with," Peter remarked as Neal gaped as he walked over to the coffee table and opened the large box revealing brand new top of the line brushes and oil based paints and small bottles of paint thinner to clean the brushes. Picking the paints up Neal saw the charcoal sticks and chalk and oil pastels, colored pencils and pens.
Looking at everything once again Neal pinched his arm to make sure he wasn't dreaming "Peter this is…I… I don't know what to say, this is two hundred dollars worth of art supplies…"Neal said in awe as he ran his fingers over the paint brushes. Peter smiled as he stepped forward and put his hand over Neal's careful so as not to scare him. Moving his hand back like he had been shocked by electricity Neal took a step back, Peter moved back a step to give the other man some space to calm down. "I didn't mean to startle you… but you remember what Doctor Parker said you have to work on getting back to normal," Peter said as he kept his distance.
"No, it's my fault… I don't mean to be so jumpy about everything, but I know how we can fix this, sit on the couch and sit still I'm going to try something," Neal said as he took a single step forward toward the other man. Peter sat down and watched as Neal cautiously sat down on the other end of the couch and slid closer to him. "Please don't move…" Neal remarked as he moved Peter's arm around him as he got closer, after a moment of sitting still Neal moved in closer until his head was resting on the other man's shoulder. Staying as still as a statue Peter waited for Neal to make every move when he was comfortable enough. Neal put his head against Peter's shoulder and closed his eyes for a moment as he took in a deep breath to calm his calm his nerves.
Peter resisted the urge to let his arm twitch even the slightest as he let the other man get comfortable with him being so close to him. Neal sat up and opened his eyes. "I want to kiss you but I'm… afraid…." Neal said softly as he looked away from Peter. "Neal, please trust me when I say I'm not going to hurt you," Peter remarked as he turned to face the other man. Peter put his hand on Neal's cheek before leaning closer 'til their lips met, Neal let his eyes slide close again. As soon as his eyes were closed he began to flash back to his memories of his rape, Neal pulled away began to breathe heavy.
Bending over and putting his head in his hand Neal whimpered a bit "I'm sorry…I just keep thinking about him, he's still out there Peter I know you and the others promise to catch him but it's been weeks with no sign of him he could be on the other end of the world or six blocks from June's place…You just don't know where he could be; he's not like Colin he doesn't flaunt around like a peacock with his riches…Jordan knows how to blend in. All he has to do is walk onto a college campus and he's blended in with a thousand other students," Neal said as he looked down at the floor tears beginning to blur his vision.
Moving over slowly Peter put a comforting friendly hand on Neal's shoulder and waited for him to look up. "We're going to find him and put him in jail and he'll never touch you again," Peter promised as he tried to comfort Neal. "Now how about I show you the rest of the cabin, there are two bedrooms on this floor and the attic was converted into the master bedroom with its own bathroom. We should bring our stuff upstairs soon and begin unpacking," he added as he got up and grabbed one of his bags.
Neal stood up slowly "Peter…can I take one of the rooms downstairs… I know that it sounds strange after all I've been through to get you to be in a relationship with me. But I can't sleep in the same bed as you right now maybe later," Neal said as he grabbed his duffel bag and walked to the bedroom next to the bathroom. After dropping his bags on the floor Neal walked back into the living room to look his new art supplies over again. Peter grabbed his bags and looked at Neal before bringing his bags to his room, when he returned downstairs he found Neal on the couch with a sketch pad and a pen.
"I'm going to make dinner early tonight, and then it's going to be hot cocoa as soon as I get the fireplace started," Peter remarked as he walked over to the counter and began to unpack the large box of food and the cooler he brought. Curious as to what Peter had packed Neal walked over and spotted his arch rival of food. "You packed deviled ham… you realize after you eat that I'm not kissing you," Neal remarked as he grabbed a few cans deviled ham and hid them in the cabinet behind a box of cereal. Peter smirked "Don't worry you don't have to eat that I brought canned tuna and salmon for you and for tuna salad sandwiches," Peter remarked as he watched Neal turn away like a finicky cat. "Trust me it tastes just as good as the fancy stuff you like, but tonight we're having a camping classic of hotdogs on the grill," Peter said as he put a bag of hot dog rolls on the counter.
The ex con continued to unpack the box of food when he came across a hard bottle lifting it up he felt his eyes go wide, putting the wine bottle on the counter he reached into the box and found six more bottles of wine. "Peter…you got wine that you actually need a corkscrew for…and these are all my favorites, and they're not cheap," Neal remarked in awe that his partner had spent so much on him. Peter "I thought if you said no to camping I could bribe you to come along with expensive wine and the promise of just spending some time alone with me," he said as he dug through the cooler for the hot dogs and the condiments.
Turning to Neal he smirked "Neal have you ever eaten a hot dog before?" Peter asked since he never saw Neal eat anything that cost less than thirty dollars a serving. Neal looked away before speaking "Once when I was six years old, my parents were away in Europe on let's call it business for legal purposes since the statute of limitations haven't run out quite yet maybe in a few more years I'll tell you. But Nicolai had chased our nanny around all day forcing her to go outside and hit her hidden stash of vodka in the garden shed. So Nicolai found the hot dogs and cooked a few on the stove."
"Wait… if you were six that means he was seven, and he didn't burn the place down?" Peter asked as he put the last of the food away in the cabinets. Neal smiled "Well I wasn't the only one he was cooking for, Dante, Romano and Adrian was there since my aunt and uncle were also away for a while so they came to stay with us since we had the room," Neal said with a smile. "That didn't answer the question but since you didn't say anything then I'll assume he didn't burn the place down," Peter remarked with a smile before digging the matches out of the drawer.
Looking through the cabinets Neal found two plates, going over to the sink he washed and dried them before putting them on the counter to be used for dinner. Peter walked onto the deck and opened the cover of the grill and cleaned it before turning it on to heat up. Neal walked out onto the deck and looked at the lake "It's such a beautiful view, I can see why you wanted to bring me up here to relax," he said softly as he sat on a lounge chair. "Now I know you don't leave these chairs out all the time or the power on, you came up here a few times recently to clean before today did you?" Neal asked with an all knowing smile as he put his head back and watched the clouds drift above the cabin.
I crave reviews so please read and review and if you review this chapter fast enough then chapter two will come out sooner than you think.