Marital Counseling

Session one: Role-Playing

Counselor: To establish a trusting marriage I've constructed a theory. Every couple has at least one pet-peeve concerning their better half that drives them up the wall. What we'll practice today is switching places. Think what you'd say to your spouse if you were him/her. We'll start with the Briefs. How about you Mr. Vegeta.

Vegeta: I shall take no part in this.

Bulma: Then I'll go first. Ahem. Look at me. I'm the strongest in the galaxy, no the UNIVERSE!! Despite having a high opinion of myself I feel inferior to my own 'Woman' He doesn't call me his wife. I spend countless hours in a gravity converting chamber, as if he's not buff enough as it is, spending time with my family means having to talk to them, BLAST! Your turn.

Vegeta:It's on now Bitch! I'm a pompous, grease monkey with nothing better to do then tinker with useless junk. Ooh is that the vacuum cleaner? I think I'll take it apart just to see how it works. Oh fudge I can't put it back together so I'll just transform it into a toaster! NO ONE LIKES LINT ON THEIR TOAST MRS. FIX-IT!!

Bulma: You were the one who broke the damn vacuum in the first place! I was recycling it!!

Vegeta: I told you Princes don't do hard labor! I AM THE PRINCE OF ALL--

Bulma: Here we go again! Your excuse for everything. "I'm the prince of this, I'm the king of that". Try being the king of getting a job instead of spending all day in that useless contraption.

Vegeta: You're one to talk about useless contraptions! Maybe if you built yourself a CLUE you'd probably have something decent as opposed to the worthless trash you make---

Bulma:That worthless trash is what's bringing in the bread, unlike a certain Somebody I know.

Vegeta: Why work when your folks are loaded? The famous Thadeus Briefs, founder of capsule corporation, most brilliant man alive with his beautiful wife, Prodigal daughter and bunch of shit throwing animals! Where do I fit in as the trophy husband?

Bulma: Oh spare me, maybe if you ditched the troll hair maybe, just maybe you'd be trophy husband quality. Ego much.

Vegeta: You want to talk about vanity? How could you when nothing on you is real anymore. 45 year old woman with breasts the size of guava melons, no one's buying it!!

Bulma: You bastard!

Vegeta: Whore!

Bulma: Psycho!

Vegeta: Brat!!

Bulma: C-cup

Vegeta: Hippopotamus!!

Counselor: Now we're making progress.