A/N i got bored and couldnt sleep so this just popped into my head. this song belongs to wicked so if you don't get the joke you can seaarch it up on youtube its a really good song. i was thinking about doing this with Dick and Damian but Jason needs some spotlight too! Dicks obviously the pretty boy here. i should probably be updating my other stories but i couldn't help myself. hope you enjoy!

Review!

Disclaimer: i do not own Batman or Wicked songs

"Jason" I immediately snap my head over to Dick. we were both sitting on the couch watching T.V. I stare at him waiting for an explanation.

"Now that we're lovers-"

"Friends" i corrected

"i decided to make you my new project

"What am I a science experiment? Anyways. You REALLY don't have to do that" emphasised 'Really'

"No...but, that's what makes me so nice!" out of nowhere dick did a back and turned on a karaoke machine. Where did he get that?

"Whenever I see someone, less fortunate then I...haha" that sick cackle

"...Well, Who isn't? Less fortunate then I?" true dat

"My tender heart tends to start to bleed" he sang while doing hand gestures

"Dick-" i started but he cut me off

"Whenever someone needs a makeover I simply have to take over!" as he sang those words he pulls out a compact out of nowhere and starts powdering his face.

"i know exactly what they need" he throws away the compact

"And even in your case... no offense"

"Hey what's that suppose to mean?" i glare at him while he gives an apologetic look

"Though the toughest case I've yet to face" he sang higher and louder. It's not my fault i'm not a pretty boy

"Don't worry, I'm determined to succeed, follow my lead!" he wheals me in with his fingers and something possesses me to come over.

"And yes indeed" and erupt stop and he pushes me back onto the couch lightly. "you. Will. Be"

"Please Dick don't do this to me" i groan, afraid of what was going to happen next.

"Popular!" he busted out with his cute pixie voice and jumping onto the coffee table, Alfred was not going to be happy about that. "You're going to be Popular! I'll teach you the proper ploys when you talk to boys!"

"hey I'm straight!" i growl but he keeps on singing

"Little ways to flirt and flounce! Oo!" he squeals

"i don't want your slut techniques!"

He jumps behind me on the couch so I'm sitting in between his legs. "I'll teach you what shoes to wear how to fix that hair" my eyes widened at the last part because he starts ruffling my hair.

"Everything that really counts to be Popular! I'll help you be Popular!...

You'll hang with the right cohorts"

"I don't want to hang with your friends"

"You'll be good at sports"

"I'm already athletic"

"Know the slang you got to know!"

"I'm not that old!"

"So let's start! Cause you got an awfully long way to go!" he belted

"I'm not that hopeless!"

"Don't be offended by my frank analysis"

"I'm already offended" i say as i make my way for the door but Dick blocks my way

"Think of it as personality dialysis" I'm not thinking of it like that. "Now that I've chosen to be a pal. A sister-"

"so your transgender now?"

"and advisor, there's nobody wiser! Not when it comes to Popular!"

"you're not that Popular"

"i know about Popular! And with an assist from me, to be whom you'll be. Instead of dreary who you were, well, are..."

"Hey!"

"there's nothing that can stop you from becoming popular...lar!...la la la la!"

"oh my god! Shut the hell up!"

"we're going to make yo Pop-u-lar!"

"is it over yet?" i think about giving myself a pity party

"When i see depressing creatures, with unprepossessing features. I remind them on their own behalf"

"ya what a joy that would be" i hope he gets that I'm being sarcastic

"To- think- of celebrated heads of state, or especially great communicators! Did they have brains or knowledge? Don't make me laugh!" there it was again. That laugh was getting annoying "they we're Popular! Please! It's all about Popular. It's not about aptitude. It's the way your viewed, so it's very shrewd to be, very popular like me!" he adds finishing touches to my hair adding gel, while also touching on makeup and sunglasses. He was so good at this he actually caught me off guard. "why Mr. Todd don't you look handsome!" he says while handing me a mirror. I did look pretty good but i was still angry.

"I have to go!" I yell while storming my way past and making my way to the closet. He lets me get by this time.

"you're welcome" he yells back "and though you protest, you disinterest, i know clandestinely!" that loser! He's still singing! I automatically grab something heavy and storm my way back to the Living room. The music starts to pick up "you're going to grin and bear it-" you're telling me "your new found popularity! Ah!" he squeals again

He grabs my hands making me drop my object and we both swing around merrily "La la la la! You'll be popular!" i let go and Pick up my baseball bat off the floor as he goes to sing his final sentence "just not quite as popular as Me!" he belts out like a black woman (A/N no offense, i love their voices) i have no idea how he hits these notes but i take the base ball bat and smash the Karaoke machine several times. I let out my frustration on it destroying the thing completely. Dick stares at me baffled then he switches to a wide grin. "Did you like my singing?"

"I'd rather be dead" i lied, his voice was pretty good though

"Love ya too JayBird!" he swings an arm around me and I surprisingly don't protest. Whatever, next time I'm taking the spotlight.

A/N what did you think? oh Dick what are we going to do with you? who wants to see Jason take the Spotlight? and if you do what song? anyways bye!