I bolt up and look around seeing I am back in my own room. The dream I was having is disappearing from my mind. My sheets are tangled into a mass at the end of my bed and my pillows are thrown to the other side of the room. The bed squeaks when I sit up but doesn't make another sound. Going into the bath room is hard with tears in my eyes. I somehow get there though. A few minutes later I am sitting back on my bed and so are all my pillows. Sleep takes over my tired body.

The sound of my door slamming wakes me up. Mom is yelling about me getting up and about everything else in life. I peek down the hall and see Mom is gone down the stairs. I slide into the bathroom and close the door firmly behind me. Starting the shower I look at myself in the mirror. Hair is in an intricate knot and gross. Warmth of the steam from the shower makes me hop in and sigh with content. My muscles are stiff from running the night before, but the water relaxes me. I wash my hair and body and then shave quickly. The moment I am wrapped up in a plush towel I run into my room.

Mom and I are expecting a guest about my age from Britain and I want to be decent the first time I see him. He is being sent here because he wanted to experience America and is Mom's friends niece. Mom's friend had moved to Britain five years earlier.

Pulling on a pair of black skinny jeans and a purple shirt is hard with my still wet body. Somehow I manage that and my hair. I may have straight hair but jeez does it get tangled. A smile grows on my face when I see myself in the mirror. Not so bad. Brown locks of hair are pulled away from my narrow face. I can't help but critic myself. Long eyelashes frame my dark chocolate eyes. I purse my semi full lips when I look at my slightly curvy body. I'll tell you that I hate how I have hardly any curves but there's not much I can do. Although I'm not tan at the moment I'm not pale either. A knock from downstairs interrupts my thoughts. The click of heels tells me Mom is getting the door so I lay down onto my bed, happy I don't have to leave my messy domain.

Shit! I run into the room next to mine that is meant to be the guests. The room is cluttered with clothing from the nights I have spent in here because of the television. Clothing is thrown everywhere and I should probably pick them up. I chuck the clothing out into the hall, including the trash from the snacks I had eaten. Mom's talking to the exchange student and by the sound of it they're getting closer. Throwing the rest of the clothing out the door I make the bed in the fastest way possible. My feet are carrying me out the door before I even know what's happening. I lean down and start to pick up the clothing that had been tossed to the top of the stairs. Mom is standing behind me with her phone out when I stand up straight. I run into my room with not even a glance in the guy's direction that is standing next to her.

A soft noise comes from the sheets that are still tangled in my bed. It's my phone so I start to through everything on my bed to the end. An object touches my hand . I pull it out. The phone is lit up from the text… wait no- texts, I have.

Nice butt Elle.

I delete it right when I realize it's from Mom. Delaney text asking if I wanted to hang out. Responding "Sure" quickly my phone buzzes again but I leave it. I can check it after. My eyes are starting to close when I hear a knock on my door. The mirror that hangs above my dresser tells me that I look decent enough. Blood rushes to my head when I stand up. It's probably the exchange student. When I open my door a boy stands there. His hair is a golden color and falls messily across his face. I study his face looking at his really high cheekbones and full lips. I meet his eyes and see they are a piercing bluey-green. He smiles sticking his hand out for me to shake. I smile and try to be friendly, shaking his hand. Long lean fingers enclose mine." Hi. My name's Ben." His deep velvety voice is laced with a strong British that will have all the girls at school swooning over him. "Elle." God he's beautiful. I notice he is not looking at me but at my room. Damn it. It's a mess." Sorry about the mess. It's not ALWAYS like this. Well, maybe that's a lie but still. Sorry." "It's fine." I turn on my heel and start to through the clothing into a pile. My trash can is also bin barded with cans from soda and wrappers from the Oreos I had been eating a lot of lately." So how was your trip?" " Fine. Thank you for having me." I shrug." No problem. It was my Mom's idea. She thought she could distract me from…. Never mind." I try to smile warmly but I know it comes out as a grimaces. Ben looks at me questionably but doesn't say anything. My phone is ringing now from under the pile of clothing. Shit." Sorry. One second." "It's fine." The clothing is flung around the room once more until I reach my phone. Tegan and Sarah's "Alligator" was ringing and I tried to hide the slight ping of sadness. I press the "talk" button." What?" "Nice to talk to you too." I smile at Delaney's sarcasm." Sorry. I'm just sad." I say this as quietly as I could, not wanting Ben to ask and bring back the memories." Girl, I'm coming over right now to get you out of this gloom. It's not fair for you to wallow in your sadness because of" she paused." him." Why did he do this to me? I am still having a hard time getting over it but I know I can't let Ben see me cry the first hour he's there." Thanks. Oh and bring chocolate and some chic flicks. K? I can provide the soda and chips and probably pizza but my moms been trying to get me to cut down on the chocolate thing." " Kk! I know the chocolate helps. Maybe I can help convince her to get you some so I won't have to keep being your dealer. We're going to be figured out." I laugh at her joke but then stop when I remember Ben is still in the room." I'll be there in five. Cool?" "Cool."

I hang up and slid my phone into my back pocket. When I turn I see Ben's eyes are lingering over my body. My body slouches a little because I don't want the attention right now. " Sorry. Delaney is coming over and she just wanted to talk." He flashes me a smile." It's fine. Delaney and you are obviously close and I don't mind much." " Thanks. Now if there is any thing I can do for you just tell me." He nods and looks around my room again." There actually is a few things that I need help with. Can you maybe bring me shopping to get some clothing and school supplies? I brought money but not a lot of clothing or school stuff." I nod. Damn he would look good in a pair of skinny jeans." And shopping to get some stuff to personalize my room?" " Sure. We can go once Delaney gets here. Oh and I should probably give you my number. You know, so if you need any thing when your not here with Mom or me." Numbers are hastily scrawled across a piece of paper that is crinkled from being stuffed in a draw for possible years. Ben tucks it into his pocket and then gives me another smile that would usually make me die. I give him a weak smile until he leaves my room, shutting the door behind him. Falling back on my bed I feel the twist in my stomach come back. Why?

The sound of feet storming up the stairs tells me that Delaney is here and probably trying to hide a backpack full of chocolate. She rams into my door not bothering to knock." Brought the chocolate and movies." " Thanks girl." This may seem kind of creepy, but Delaney is beautiful. Her hair is a light brown along with her eyes. Her lips are plump and full. She has gorgeous curves and she has a brilliant smile that makes everyone else want to smile. She comes and sits beside me on my bed." Are you okay? I know you're having a hard time and I want to help." Her words are so sweet and genuine that they make the tears come back. Hot tears glide down my cheeks fast. She wraps her arms around me and starts to rock me back and forth as I cry out the emotions that had been building up since last night." Shush. It will be alright." I shake my head as I feel my body fail me. It starts to shake and I choke out small sobs. Delaney pulls a tissue from the container on the side of my bed. She wipes away my tears that keep falling from my sad eyes." Is every thing all right in here?" When I look up I see a tear-blurred Ben is standing in the doorway. Delaney looks away from me. I nod and try to control the tears but they just fall harder and my sobs become louder. Delaney is still beside me and I hear her gasp. Her eyes are locked on his face. Pulling the blanket over my head, I loose view of my best friend and Ben. Memories flash before my eyes in the darkened cave I have made. I'm at the point were I can hardly breath now because of the tears and sobs. Feet comes towards me and then stop. A warm hand strokes my back gently." Does she do this often?" Ben sounds worried but I'm sure he's not." Yeah. Every since….. Elle? Can I tell him?" I nod my head and then still again." Elle's ex-boyfriend Mark broke her heart. They dated for three years and Elle was convinced he loved her. Last month he started to act weird and would lash out at her. One night when they went on a date he got mad for no reason what so ever. When they took a walk in the park he twisted her arm and broke it. He also beat her till she couldn't move by herself. Luckily I was working in the food stand and saw it happen. I called 911 and they rushed her to the hospital." The tears were now replaced with angry but once again that left after a second leaving me in sorrow once more." What happened to this Mark kid?" " He still goes to our school. He never was sentenced to any jail time and his father bribed the school so he wouldn't be kicked out." Delaney tells the story but what she doesn't know is that he had beaten me more than once that month of his full scale attack. My body feels weak but I pull myself up so I don't look weak. Delaney hands me an Oreo and I stuff it in my mouth. I notice Ben is sitting on the ground next to my bed. He must have been the one stroking my back. He stands up and starts to pace my room." So he didn't get arrested because…?" He was obviously puzzled." His dad is a judge. He was let off the hook." Delaney looks at her phone when she says this and I can tell that Martin is texting her." That's, that's…." " Bull shit? Shit? Shitty? Fucked up?" Ben stares at me and nods. He seems surprised that I have pulled myself together that fast. Pulling myself together was something I had mastered after last month. I have to pull myself together often in school when Mark was a douche. I eat another Oreo and then go to my mirror. Ben is still contemplating what Delaney and I have said about Mark. My top dresser draw is full of make up and stuff like that and I never really organized it. When I opened it I pulled out a makeup remover wipe and swiped it over my eyes. Delaney's reflection is grinning. I know Martin is texting ,her but don't say anything. Delaney tries her best not to talk about him but I know she has a hard time not. I re-apply my eyeliner, eye shadow and mascara. When I look at Ben's reflection it's staring at me. Avoiding eye contact I pick up my purse and lip-gloss from my desk. The lip-gloss tastes sweet on my pink lips and I smile at the mirror. Taking a few deep breaths I calmed myself." Ready to go to the store?"

Ben, Delaney, and I walk down the streets of my town, talking. Delaney is talking about what part of England Martin use to live in and I am listening to the music I have playing from my I-Pod. Ben is just nodding to Delaney, but doesn't really seem to be paying much attention. My phone rings in my pocket. answer it." Hello?" " Hey hon! Just wanted to tell you I'm heading out to work and won't be back till late Friday night. Okay?" Mom has been planning this trip for a while and it happens to fall on the day Ben arrives. "Okay! Love you." " Love you too. Bye" She hangs up. We have stopped and are now entering Target." So can you help me with getting stuff?" I jump when Ben says this. I didn't see him come up next to me." Sure." Trying to smile just makes me frown." Are you okay? I mean after earlier?" I shrug." You know, I usually break down like that once a day, sometimes more." He nods, starts to open his mouth and then closes it." Oh, Mom just left to go to work. She won't be back till Friday. Now lets go to the clothing section. K?" "K." Delaney, Ben, and I walk to the clothing isle and I started to go through the clothing. I throw a few sweaters and jeans over my arms." Know you go and try these on." Ben walks away with the clothing and then grabs something off of a hanger." So do we just wait till he's done?" I grab Delaney by the hand and shake my head." No. We go and shop for clothing for us."

Two hours later we are back at my empty house with bags of clothing and décor." I'll order the pizza. Delaney you go and boot up the telly." Delaney walks out of the room texting. I call the pizza company and order our food. I stand near the phone for a minute just stare off into space as the memories of the month before come flooding back. Images flash before my eyes making me dizzy. I feel myself slowly start to fall to the ground as I am surrounded by the park once more. A hand comes down onto my arm and forces me onto the ground as though I'm a feather. "Elle? Elle?!" a voice calls out to me but it sounds far away and its muted by my screams. Someone's warm hand is pulling me up and I feel the person set me in there lap rocking me back and forth. Artificial light floods my eyes and I remember I'm in my kitchen. My face is tear soaked and Delaney is kneeing in front of me. She has her hands on my face and she's wiping the tears away with her thumb. Trying to sit up I remember I'm on someone's lap. When I look at the face I see it's Ben." Thank you." Somehow I manage to mumble those words." Hon? Why are you having these flash backs and break downs a lot today?" Delaney voice is very concerned." To..tomorrow is the one month anniversary of his attack." She gasps but then stops herself when the doorbell rings." Sweetie, I invited Martin to come and hang out with us. Okay?" nodding I took a few deep breaths. Delaney goes to open the door. Ben keeps rocking me back and forth in his lap and whispers, " It's okay. Your safe now. I- we won't let anything happen to you." I bury my face in his chest and let out another sob. He runs his hand down my back and up again making me shiver." Sorry you had to go through this the first day you are here." Ben sighs into my ear." It's okay. At least I know now and I didn't learn later." "Thanks." A giggle drifts into the kitchen from the hall and I know Martin is here." Hi Elle. How are you?" Martin is standing over me looking worried." Fine. Just another flash back. I probably won't have more." " I'm here for you if you need anything." " Thanks Martin. Want to go and watch the telly now?"

Martin and Delaney sit on big comfy chair together. Ben sits on the small love seat and I follow." Want to watch some Doctor Who?" " Sure Elle. What one are you on?" Delaney has snuggled into Martin's chest and is smiling slightly." I'm on the one after the Doctor regenerates. The guy who plays him is now David Tennant." " Oh? What's he like?" " One word. ATTRACTIVE." Delaney laughs at this and I start the episode. After about ten minutes the door bell rings." I'll get it. It's the pizza." Delaney and Martin aren't paying attention and Ben seems distracted. I chuckle and then go to open the door. I loud gasp escapes my mouth when I open it.

Mark stands in front of me with a pizza in his hands. My fist are clenched and so is my jaw." That would be twenty-dollars." He sends a chilling smile my way." One…one minute." I start to close the door but he stops it with his foot. Turning I run upstairs really fast. Half way up I trip fall making a loud "thud" on the stairs. Pull myself up I continue to run until the door to my room is in view. A twenty-dollar bill sits on the table next to my bed and I grab it. As I make my way back down the stairs a single tear runs down my paled cheeks. " Here. Now out." Mark takes the money but grabs onto my wrist. Hard. He yanks me towards him so his mouth is against my ear." Do you really think I would pass up hurting you again?" His grip tightens even more. A bruise will be left there, that's for sure." Let go." He smirks at my words and starts to twist my hand. A scream escapes my mouth when the flash backs appear again, mixed with the present. One minute I'm in the hall of my house the next I'm in the park. I keep flashing back and forth. I'm still screaming when I black out.