"I hate you!" I screamed at her slamming my bedroom door shut. Tears poured down my cheeks. I can't believe I fought with Alex again. I know it isn't her fault, she's done nothing wrong, it's all on me. I can't help but think things would be different if I hadn't gotten my heart broken so many times before.
The first was Shane. He was my first love, I thought nothing could tear us apart, but then he left me for Tess. Then there was Joe. I thought maybe he could help me put the pieces back together, but right when I almost had it back together, he broke it again. I don't really want to mention all the other guys and girls who've broken me. I lost all hope in love. I swore I would die alone but then Alex came into my life. She was different from all the rest. It just seems like I don't have to put my guard up around her, but I'm so scared that she's gonna hurt me. I guess I'm terrified of her because I feel that if she leaves me, it's going to hurt worse than it did with anyone else.
I cried myself to sleep that night. I do every time we fight. She's getting fed up with me, I know it. She's tired of me always contradicting myself. I kept pushing her away just to pull her back into me. I'd know it's wrong and it's getting us nowhere but I can't help it.
I was woken up in the middle of the night by a thud. I sat up groggily but alert. I saw a figure crawl through my window and I almost screamed but they held their hands up.
"Mitch, it's just me." I heard her beautiful voice.
"Alex?what are you doing here?' my voice broke as I watched her make her way towards me. There was no light except of the moonlight shinning through my window, illuminating my face.
"Oh babe, you've been crying again." She said concerned, caressing my cheek with her hand. She pulled me into a hug, her arms were warm and inviting like usual. I easily rested into her while she started playing with my hair.
"I'm sorry for what I said earlier" I told her starting to cry again. "I didn't mean it."
"Shh. I know you didn't, I didn't mean what I said either."
"I know, it's just , I'm so confused." She looked at me curiously.
"why?"
"Because I love you so much but I'm so scared of opening up to anyone. I know I'll tell you one thing and then change it later, you just shouldn't listen to a word I say."
"And what good will that do?"
"It would stop us from fighting."
"Mitch, you're in this too. I can't just decide everything, you've got a say in it. In a relationship no one's better than the other. We're partners, equals." I snuggled myself deeper into her.
"I just don't want you to leave me." I told her.
"And I wont. I never would without good reason."
"That's what everyone else said."
"I'm not everyone else."
I never slept better before in my entire life than I did the four hours I got sleeping in her arms.
My parents were surely surprised the next morning when they came up to wake me for school. Being the parents they are, they just had to take pictures of me cuddling with my girlfriend. Once we were at school, my fears and insecurities came back so I again started pushing her away. I was switching my textbooks when I felt her arms wrap around my waist. I immediately pulled out of her grasp and slammed my locker door shut.
"Mitch-" she tried reaching for me, but I slapped her hand away.
"Don't touch me" I told her lowly and felt horrible when I saw the hurt flash across her face.
"Look, I'm sorry okay?: I just need time to think." She nodded sadly as the bell rang.
The next few hours dragged on agonizingly slow. Finally the last bell rang and I made my way to Alex's locker.
"I'm so sorry Alex, ugh I just... I'm a horrible girlfriend." I told her once I spotted her.
"NO you are not. You've just been hurt way too many times." She tried reassuring me. "You're in pieces."
"But you complete me" I told her making her smile.
"How was I ever whole before?" She asked rhetorically before I felt her lips on mine. I loved it when she kissed me. It was like we were the only two people in the world. like I'm the only one who mattered to her.
I got sick that week. Alex about had a heart attack when i didn't show up at school. She practically knocked down my door when she came over. When she saw me lying there probably looking like the living dead, she was immediately concerned.
"Aw, my poor Mitchie" she said coming and sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Is there anything I can do? Do you want anything? You want water from Alaska? I'll fly over there and melt the glacier myself-"
"Alex" I giggled. "I'm fine"
'Are you sure? Do you need anything at all?"
"Well..."
'What?"
"Could you hold me?" She got off the bed and walked to the other side climbing in under the covers.
"Of course babe" She told me wrapping her arms around me. She only left my side that week for school. She would come back at lunch to give me some soup and she would sit there to make sure that I finished it before telling me to sleep, then go back to school.
After I got better, it was announced that the Sadie Hawkins dance was coming up so I asked Alex ou to the dance and to my joy she said yes. The days flew by like they didn't even happen and soon it was the night of the dance. I did my hair and make up and wore a dress that I had bought for the occasion. I just finished when my mom called for me, telling me that Alex was here. I made my way downstairs and was rendered breathless when I saw her. She looked insanely gorgeous with her hair curled slightly, loose against her shoulders while wearing a beautiful knee length white dress.
"Wow Mitch, you look beautiful" Alex said in wonderment before taking my hand and kissing it. For some reason I felt she was lying. I didn't feel so beautiful, but I didn't say anything. My insecurities come bubbling up once again. Alex tried to kiss me but I turned my head so that she only kissed my cheek. She sighed tiredly but didn't say anything. By the time we got to the school we were arguing again.
"Mitch, this isn't fair to me. You can't keep pushing me away just to come back with open arms."
"I thought you said you understood! I've apologized countless times! I'm sorry okay?"
"Mitchie! Sometimes sorry doesn't cut it!"
"ugh I hate you" I muttered under my breath.
"Well then why are you even here?!" She turned to go but I grabbed her hand and pulled her back.
"No, I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that."
"Maybe it's because that's how you feel"
"No, Alex, that's not how I feel. I just. I can't explain it."
"Try"
'Try?" She nodded and I thought for a minute before I got an idea.
"Wait here. Promise me you wont leave?" She looked like she wanted to tell me no, but she gave in. I pushed through the crowd of students dancing till I made it to the front.
"Nate" I caught one of my friend's attention.
"Yeah?"
"I wanna perform"
"But you didn't sign up. And you don't have a band or instrument!"
"Please Nate? This is really important to me. I could use your guitar, please?" I gave him the puppy dog eyes.
"Fine. Your on in five"
"Minutes?"
"No seconds now go!" He gave me a small push onto the stage after handing me his guitar. I put the strap on and got up to the mic adjusting it so that it was the right height for me. I saw Alex watching me in surprise. She knew that I played music but I never performed for anyone, and now here I was with a guitar in my black dress getting ready to sing my heart out.
"Hey everybody, I'm Mitchie Torres, Junior here at Tribeca prep. I want to sing a song that hasn't even been written down yet, its sorta on the spot. So here goes nothing." I started strumming a few chords that I had been toying with for the past month but could never put them together right. Now I played it like I knew the song by heart. I was extremely nervous. I mean who performs a song that hasn't even been written yet, let alone played. I got into the measure I wanted and started singing right to Alex.
"Hey, yeah yeah
I hate you, don't leave me
I feel like I can't breathe
Just hold me, don't touch me
And I want you to love me
But I need you to trust me
Stay with me, set me free
But I can't back down
No, I can't deny
That I'm staying now
'Cause I can't decide
Confused and scared
I am terrified of you
I admit I'm in and out of my head
Don't listen to a single word I've said
Just hear me out before you run away
'Cause I can't take this pain
I hate you, don't leave me
I hate you, don't leave me
'Cause I love when you kiss me
I'm in pieces, you complete me
But I can't back down
No, I can't deny
That I'm staying now
'Cause I can't decide
Confused and scared
I am terrified of you
I admit I'm in and out of my head
Don't listen to a single word I've said
Just hear me out before you run away
'Cause I can't take this pain, no
I'm addicted to the madness
I'm a daughter of the sadness
I've been here too many times before
Been abandoned and I'm scared now
I can't handle another fall out
I'm fragile, just washed upon the shore
They forget me, don't see me
When they love me, they leave me
I admit I'm in and out of my head
Don't listen to a single word I've said
Just hear me out before you run away
'Cause I can't take this pain
No, I can't take this pain
I hate you, don't leave me
I hate you, please love me"
The audience burst into applause and I hadn't even realized I had been crying until I felt a teardrop land on my hand. I came off the stage handing the guitar back to Nate.
"Great Job Mitchie, that was beautiful"
"Thanks" I told him before turning around to see Alex standing there. There were tears in her eyes too. I was worried about her reaction but before I could say anything, she pulled me into her crashing our lips together.
"You don't have to ask, I already do love you" Alex told me once we pulled away. "And you don't have to hate me, I will stay forever." I smiled.
"I know that now." I pulled her in for another kiss.

So this was a oneshot I just wanted to do. Please tell me what you thought. The song is "I Hate You Don't Leave Me" By Demi Lovato. I just love this song, the emotion she puts into it and the lyrics. So Yeah, I shall now be updating 'The Kid', bye

~SM