Quick author's note: A big, HUGE, thanks to Stories with a term, who not only gave me the inspiration for this but also the permission! Her's is better then mine, so GO FORTH AND READ IT!
Also, seeing as this is written like a script, characters will be symbolized by their first initial, or as otherwise indicated! That's all, thanks for reading!

*NOTE EnglishFangasms does NOT claim ownership of Hetalia and it's characters, so please no un-needed law-suits~!

J: Hiya! Or should I say a big Moi moi! To our listeners! This is radio station 42.69 (or for you non-pervs 42.7), Heta-Radio, and I'm your Fan-gir- I mean Fantastic DJ Jay, or, if you're one of my readers: EnglishFangasms! Today we will be hosting our favorite gentleman, England, along with the HERO America, and... well there was someone else... but... they're not here... OH WELL~ ON WITH THE SHOW, DAWGS! QUICK ALPHA-DOG!

A: WOOF! NO NEED TO FEAR THE HERO IS HERE!

E: More like the idiot...

A: DUDE! You're such a jerk sometimes! I said I was sorry!

J: Ohoho~ And what is this, a spat? This early? I haven't even started~ But go on, tell us what happened~!

?: Well you see-

E: THIS WANKER MISTOOK MY LOVELY SCONES AND TEA FOR A ROCK AND DISHWATER!

J: *gasp* AMERICA HOW COULD YOU?! Well, Iggy, if it were me, I'd eat it gratefully. That's right, listeners, this girl is a scone-loving tea addict, and she's not even british!

A: IT WASN'T MY FAULT IF HIS COOKING SUCKS! And really, Jay, I don't think the audience wants to hear that...

J: What, what?! America are you being tsundere towards, me~? Well, I'm flattered, but I'll always be made for my beloved Ig- *smash sounds heard*

A: No I'm not.

E: I'm... just going to ignore that for now...

?: G-guys, I think she's blee-

A: SO ANYWAY! While Jay's lying on the floor like the lazy bum she is-

J: I HEARD THAT!

A: Let's get to business! NOW! Since this is the introduction Jay's gonna-

J: I'm gonna leave a task to my beloved listeners. *snickers* How does it feel Hero~?

A: Jerk!

J: Hush you, say no more. NOW my special assignment is simple: I want you guys to request who you'd like for my co-hosts for the next chapter in this lil radio saga and ask questions too! It's easy, just send in those reviews and we will respond. Whether anyone likes it or not. *whip noise*

E: Wh-wh-why the bloody he** are you looking at me like that?!"

J: Eheheh... sorry, pervy thoughts~!

E: I swear, sometimes you're worse than France!

F: Ohonhonhon~ Did I hear my name being called~? And just who summoned zhe lovely moi~?

J/A: HE DID.

F: I see~ And does Angleterre wish for a little re-do of last night~?

E: YOU BLOODY LYING FROG! THAT'S IT I'M GONNA TEAR OUT THAT SH** BEARD RIGHT NOW!

J: WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WAIT! NO VIOLENCE IN THE RADIO STATION! NOW. France. How many times do I have to tell you: ENGLAND IS MINE. Have whatever his face is, I ship that!

E: I WILL NOT STAND FOR BEING PAWNED OFF LIKE THIS! I'M LEAVING!

J: No you're not~ *muffled yells and thumps heard*

A: Dude, I see why you tied him up... but what's with the gag and blindfold...?

F: Ohonhon~ I believe I know why~!

J: Yes, isn't it beautiful~?

*moment of silence*

A: THAT IS GROSS.

J: That's it, France, you and I are gonna make an England fan-club. Any listeners that wanna join, let us know in the reviews!

F: Once we get enough members, we'll hold a special broadcast!

E: MMMF! MMMF!

J: SILENCE OR YOU SHALL BE PUNISHED. *in british accent* Oh dear~ It appears my german/austrian side is showing~ *normal accent* Anyone got a riding crop~?

A: OH MY GOD I DO NOT NEED TO HEAR THIS.

J: Wha~t? Are you gonna try and leave too~? Heehee~ Go ahead and try! France, what do you think we should 'dress him up' in if he does~?

F: I'm zhinking a prison stripe bikini and a good ol' fashioned ball and chain would be entertaining~!

J: Yeah! I loves me some stripes~!

A: *sigh* Fine I'll stay...

J: WOOT! Now on to our next order of business-

?: Uhm... excuse me...?

A: Guys, did you hear something?

F: Oui, but it sounded familiar...

J: Too familiar...

A: Alright, this is just creepy! Is this a prank or something?!

?: N-no it's just me I-

J: AGH! YOU SCARED ME CANADA!

C: Wh-what?! B-but I've been here the whole time!

F: S-sorry, mon petit... we didn't see you zhere...

A: Dude! It's my bro! What's up?

C: W-well, you guys haven't heard a single thing I said... but other then that...uh...J-jay?

A: Dude, what's with that totally creepy look?!

F: Ah, I have seen zhis look around Japan sometimes... I believe it is zhe typical fan-girl/boy rape face?

J: DING DING DING! Correcto mundo! Because this is my truest OTP~ *sigh* oh AmeCan... so beautiful~!

C: Oh no... pleas-

J: MAKE OUT!

A: WHAT THE HE**?!

J: NOW!

C: B-but-

J: I SAID NOW! DON'T MAKE ME SUMMON RUSSIA! I'LL DO IT I KNOW THE SPELL!

A: I-I WON'T BE INTIMIDATED BY THAT COMMIE BAS**RD! S-SO-

E: Huffhuff! Looks like I finally escaped! Well, listeners, I'm sorry you all had to go through this... have a nice day and all that, then!

*crashes and curses can be heard in background*

*cuts off to a random song*