This is a brief outtake of what went down during Bella and Emmett's conversation, rather, the heated exchange between them in Chapter 12. Journey, put the idea in my head, so I guess, I have her to thank. I know she's dying to read this outtake basing it on the several messages she sent asking for this. I will be posting the usual chapter in a few days. Just to give you all little time to digest what is going on inside Bella's head. Actually, this is for all of you who voted for an outtake. ~Enjoy~
Bella and Emmett's Conversation: An Outtake
"Emmett, can I have a word with you?" Bella said right after she placed the groceries on top of the counter, making sure that she stowed the meat inside the refrigerator before she walked outside the door followed by a reluctant Emmett.
He barely acknowledged her presence, choosing to ignore her at all costs if possible. He didn't want to talk to her; there was nothing to talk about really, as far as he was concerned.
Emmett followed Bella, who stopped at the curb in front of Edward's white and blue bungalow. Bella turned around to face Emmett, who squared his shoulders, ready for whatever she wanted to talk about.
Bella looked him in the eye; her gaze was sharp and unwavering as if she was trying to read his mind in the process. Emmett stared back at her with his hands in his pocket. He tried to appear nonchalant, not wanting to draw first blood. Bella in a way had changed, he thought. She was prettier than ever, the spunk still remained, but her whole demeanor appeared guarded. Gone was the quiet innocence that she had when he met her. He often wondered why she took off the way she did.
"What do you have on your mind Bella?" Emmett decided to speak first.
"I'm just wondering why you look at me with disdain. What have I ever done to you?" Bella's words were crisp and directly to the point and Emmett salivated at the fact that he could now give her a piece of his mind. Something he couldn't do in the hospital, with Tanya being present and the air a bit tense with Edward's accident.
"You haven't done anything to me Bella, at least not directly. But you screwed up my friend real good. You have no idea how it was for him when you left the way you did. How could you?"
Emmett watched as ripples of emotions flooded Bella's face. She shook her head in denial as emotions so sharp ranging from pain, hurt and disbelief coursed through her body. Bella imagined that Edward would look for her, naturally so, since she left abruptly. But never in her wildest dreams did she expect that there was more to it. She thought for sure that he hated her from the beginning.
She made his life a living hell with all the workouts and exercises she had put him through. All the grueling tests that she had made him do, all because she wanted to make sure that he could live up to his fullest potential even without the use of his lower limbs. Do the most of whatever mobility he had left. She wanted him to walk, maybe more than anybody else besides his family and friends. She had forgotten to treat him with kindness, pushing aside his depression and how he had to deal with his loss.
She was so drawn to him from the beginning that all she could focus on was making Edward be all she saw he could be, never stopping to evaluate why she did what she did or how he was handling it. And the moments she caught a glimpse at his feelings that mirrored her own, she left.
Bella tried to keep her tears from falling, refusing to show weakness in front of Emmett. Leaving Edward was the toughest thing she had done in her life but her fear that she'd fallen in love made her run. She didn't want Edward to think that she felt pity for him when all she wanted to do was be with him whether he ever walked again or not.
She was young, scared and ambitious. Now, she realized that she made a big mistake, because after all the years that had gone by, she was still in love with him. And the realization that he was in a relationship hurt more than she expected. It was probably too late now for her.
"I left because I love him," she said through the tears that betrayed her.
"You love him?" Emmett nearly shouted. "You sure have a mean way of showing that love," he hammered at Bella mercilessly. His hands balled into a fist inside his pocket. He wasn't going to hit her, not by any measure, but he wanted to pound at something, anything. The woman before him wasn't making any sense, and it angered him even more. She loved him, so she left?
Bella explained further knowing damn well that she probably would end up not making any sense, but nevertheless, she tried. "I wouldn't be able to help him the way his parents expected me to if I stayed. I can see that he did well for himself. He is doing much more than what I initially thought he could do."
"Cut the bullshit Bella! You hurt him deep, so deep that I thought he wouldn't be able to get over it. Do you have any idea how it was for him?" Emmett shouted and each word made Bella cringe. She covered her ears to drown the angry sound in Emmett's voice and yet the truth seeped in. She left without an explanation. Yes, it looked bad. How could she turn back the hands of time? She made a big mistake and now she was paying for it. She deserved to be alone.
How could Bella say that fear caused her to run? That she got scared because she loved him so much and didn't think he felt the same? Did it even matter now? I
"I was scared Emmett! I got scared! Does that mean anything? Would that change things now? I love him so much, and I thought it was just the alcohol talking when he said that he wanted me. I truly didn't know what to do. I didn't know whether I should believe Edward when he said that he loved me. I've never been in love before. And to top it off, he was my patient." Bella was crying and screaming at the same time. She felt her hand shaking when she waved them in the air.
"Bella, lower your voice will you?" Emmett took a quick swipe at the window, and saw Edward sitting and watching them with a troubled expression on his face. Emmett stepped closer to Bella, touching her by the elbow. "Hey, don't cry. I had no idea how you felt. I just don't want my friend hurt again. Now that he has rebuilt his life, he has a good woman in Tanya." Emmett's voice trailed off, not sure he was in a position to discuss Edward's personal life. Adding the fact that he was not confused as hell and not missed the fact that she constantly said, I love him in the present tense, as in she still does?
"I know… and I have no intentions of breaking up their happy relationship. I'm so confuse, Emmett. When I saw him in Los Angeles, all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him, but I saw Tanya and the anger in Edward's face…" Bella stopped herself from talking when she heard her voice sounding hoarse. Here she was with her heart crushed once more, and it's all her fault. "I don't understand why we keep on running into each other… the blind date and now, work…"
"I keep wondering about the same thing Bella..." Emmett replied. He could feel the tremors from Bella's body while she sobbed. He had to admit, she appeared to be telling the truth, but again, did that really matter now? He was torn as she continued talking, the genuine pain in her voice tugged at his hurt.
"I don't want to hurt him. I can't explain why we can't have a normal conversation…we seem to bring out the worst in each other. It's exhausting. I'm so confused, sometimes, I feel that I should just give up the account and run away."
"Again? Is that the only thing you can do? Run away?" Emmett asked, feeling the weight of Edward's stare. "No more running Bella. You have to face the music this time. Do what you must but don't run away. It won't accomplish anything."
"It hurts to see him everyday…so close and yet so…" Bella didn't finish what she wanted to say; instead she wiped the tears off her face with the back of her hands, leaving smears of mascara across her face.
"It's not my business to tell you what to do. I just don't want to see my friend get hurt, again." Emmett kicked an imaginary pebble from the ground, watching Bella's reaction.
"I don't want to hurt him any more than I already did," she said quietly before turning to the house, and catching a glimpse of a rigid faced Edward watching them intently. She quickly rearranged her expression, masking the unhappiness that she knew was evident in her face.
Emmett walked beside her, not saying another word.
"Dinner will be served in an hour and a half," she said before they made it to the door and saw a slight smile break across Emmett's face at the mere mention of food.
She couldn't help returning the smile thinking, if only it were that easy.
A/N: Bella's reasoning is fairly simple, she got scared! I won't sit around pretending that it's so easy for people to just go right out and say how they feel. Bella learned it the hard way. Let's just hope that it isn't too late for her.
I'm dying to know what you all think of this outtake, so please don't forget to leave me your thoughts on this. Thanks.
xoxo