On My Mind
Disclaimer – I don't own Bones or any of the characters
Booth's and Brennan's thoughts at the end of "The Bullet in the Brain"
Brennan's POV –
As I look across the table at him the only thing I can think of is how close I came to losing him. It's not the first time he's been in danger. It's not even the first time he's almost died. But the fact that it happened again terrifies me.
Sure things have changed since we've been back. We aren't as close as we once were. We don't do after case drinks, we don't finish our paperwork together over boxes of carry out Thai food, and we don't even frequent this place we're in now as often as before. But the thought of losing him forever threatens to tear my heart out, metaphorically of course.
"You should have waited for me" I say, trying desperately to keep the emotions- the worry, the anger, the sorrow for things changed - from my voice but it's hard.
"I didn't want to disappoint anyone" he says with his mouth but are his eyes telling me that it's me he doesn't want to disappoint? No, that's not possible; you can't see emotions and desires in someone's eyes. Can you?
Max gets up to leave and I walk him out. Just before he gets in the cab he gives me a shell. I watch as the cab pulls away and I put the shell to my ear to listen. Just the sound of the "ocean" in the shell takes me back. Back to a time in my life that wasn't complicated or filled with sorrow and pain. A time before my parents left, before Russ left and then a time before...now.
It's amazing to me how one person…..one man…..that man…..the man I almost lost today, can heal the pain of years of being alone. It's also amazing that the same man can add a new pain…..a more intense pain…..the pain of being loved then to only have that love taken away. I wonder who will take this pain away?
Booth's POV –
She's looking at me, God I had forgotten how beautiful her eyes are. I can see fear, anger and maybe a little bit of sorrow in them.
"You should have waited for me" she says with an edge to her voice.
"I didn't want to disappoint anyone" I say. I'm hoping that she can't read in my eyes that it's her that I don't want to disappoint. Not again anyway.
She gets up to walk Max out. When he climbs into the cab, she turns to watch it drive away I can see her face. As she stands there she puts the shell to her ear and her lips turn up in a small smile. I watch as she listens to the "ocean" with a look that says she's remembering something from her younger years. The years before her life was torn apart by the departure of her parents…..her brother…..and possibly me. I watch, hoping against hope that she'll come back in just for a little while.