Some Things are Best Left Un-Experienced
Summary: Castiel accidentally throws an object at Dean's family jewels and wants to make it up to him. He has always been a curious angel.
Castiel didn't mean it. He meant for the large square object to land perfectly into the hunter's arm, but luck was not on his side and the laws of Murphy took effect. Cas winced as the injured hunter grabbed his genitals in pain and fell to the ground.
Sam turned sharply around expecting to see Dean toss him the cursed object to expel the ghost. They were right in the middle of a hunt and Dean was on the ground almost in tears with his hands between his legs. The taller hunter shot a worried glance between Dean and Castiel, who frozen in shock and embarrassment with an apologetic look in his eyes. Sam immediately made the connection, Dean was out of the picture and would most likely be down for the count. The angry spirit crashed through the boarded doors of the abandoned house and headed right for Sam. Castiel didn't waste anytime this time and rushed over to Dean where the cursed object was and tossed it to Sam. This time with better luck and just in time too. Sam flicked the gears of his metal lighter and burned the wooden object sending the ghost into oblivion.
"Thanks Cas," Sam turned and looked at his brother who was still on the ground.
"Damn it Cas!" Dean hollered from the ground, he wheezed as he rubbed his sensitive man parts.
"I'm sorry Dean," Castiel furrowed his brow and walked over to the hunter. He looked back at Sam and Sam gave him his famous ouch I'm sorry this happened smile.
When the pain died down Dean slowly hoisted himself to his knees. Never had he felt such a direct shot to the balls, leave it to Cas to strike out even as a human. Sam and Castiel helped Dean up and walked him out to the Impala. The older hunter groaned at every step, trying to walk slowly to minimize the pain. Sam opened the back door on the passenger's side and helped Dean into the car.
"Is he going to be okay?" Castiel glanced at Dean in the back seat, his face was riddled with concern.
Sam looked at his brother and winced at the thought of the pain Dean must be going through but this was nothing new. Dean would live. "Yeah Cas, ah just be more careful next time." Sam pursed his lips into a smile and headed for the driver's side.
The angel nodded and crawled into the passenger seat defeated, feeling completely useless.
Later that night after they came back from dinner, Castiel focused his mind on ways he could make it up to the hunter. He tried to apologize but Dean would only glare at him. He asked Sam would he could do about it and the younger hunter simply replied that his brother was just milking it for attention. Now Castiel was alone in his thoughts, sitting at a small round table in the motel alone.
When Dean walked out of the shower, there was still a little limp in his walk and it was made even more painfully obvious by his poor attempts to hide it. Though he was still pissed at Cas for hitting him in the balls, he knew that this was just one of those things guys had to suffer through. Hence why in fight matches there was a strict no blows blow the belt rule. He dried his hair with a towel and walked over to his duffel bag to get a night shirt. Sam was on the other bed doing a Sudoku and Cas was sitting alone like a sad puppy. Dean sighed and shook his head and walked over to his sulking friend.
"Hey," Dean pulled out the chair and plopped down, feeling a sharp pain in the nether regions. He winced but tried to hide it. He didn't want to risk making the angel feel anymore guilty.
"Hello Dean." Castiel's face was overcast in deep depression. He really did look like a sad puppy that had just been caught peeing on the carpet.
"Hey, ah it's not that big of a deal, what happened back there." Dean tried to console.
"Yes Dean, but my actions jeopardized the hunt. If Sam had not been so quick, that vengeful spirit would have killed him."
Dean had to hand it to the angel, he was a master of being hard on himself, which was probably a trait he had picked up from the hunter. "It's no biggy, every man has to deal with this. Not the first time I've been hit in the family jewels."
Castiel tilted his head and squished up his eyes. "What does an array of harden stones have to do with this?"
Dean laughed this time, which only made the pain worse. "Okay Cas, I'm heading to bed. Don't stay up all night and brood. Get some sleep, it's no biggy trust me." Fighting the last fleeting giggles Dean crawled into bed and drifted off to sleep.
That night the angel found it very hard to fall asleep. Whenever the boys would get a room for the night they would always request one with a couch so that Castiel would have a place to sleep. They were even so kind to buy him a set of sheets and a sleeping bag. Castiel preferred the sleeping bag over the sheets but the smell of the couches in the gaudy motel rooms was unbearable. So he would lay the sheets over the couch, then slide into his sleeping bag. He already felt useless to the hunters as a human and with his latest mistake he felt even worse, but another question was inching to the forefront of his mind. Why was the area between the legs more sensitive? Castiel had seen Dean and Sam get punched in the face, stomach, and other parts of the body all the time. Castiel knew from gruesome experience that a hit to the face does not cause that kind of reaction. Then why was this one poorly timed but perfect shot the one hit to bring the hunter to his knees? Dean had said this was something that all men had to deal with, but in all the times Castiel had been human he had not experienced such a thing. The only sensation he had ever felt between his legs was the occasional arousal which would always put him in an unsettling mood. Now as he lay on the couch in the dark motel room, he had another experience to add to his list and this would surely make it up to the hunter.
The next morning Dean and the gang hit the road early to make a pit stop at a local diner they saw on the way in. The place advertised the best pancakes in the mid-west and Dean was just dieing for a taste test. The group found a booth near the window so Dean could keep an eye on his baby, Sam excused himself to the bathroom saying something about how last night's dinner did not agree with him.
Castiel looked at where Sam was standing, temporally confused as to why Sam was having a conversation with his dinner and why it did not agree with him, that's when his thoughts from last night popped into his mind.
"Dean," The angel said in his all serious no joking around tone of voice. "What does it feel like to get hit in the balls?"
Dean was immediately broken away from his gaze of the Impala parked outside. Did Castiel just say balls? "What?"
"What does it feel like-"
"Yeah I got that part, why do you-oh is this about yesterday? Cas it's okay, see," Dean bounced around the booth moving his legs. "I'm fine." The hunter flared out his arms.
"Yes but-" Castiel broke his stare and fidgeted with his fingers unconsciously.
"Cas, it's okay, will you drop it already." Dean thought he made his point very clear and looked at the bathroom sigh hoping Sam would come back already.
"Dean," Cas said sternly "I want you to hit me in the balls."
Dean's eyes popped out of his head as if he was just asked to burn the Impala. What kind of man asks to get hit in the balls? "Cas what the hell, I'm not hitting you in the balls!" Dean said a little too loudly which caused some of the patrons to turn out. "Damn it Cas," Dean lowered his voice suddenly feeling very unconformable about their current conversation. "I said drop it."
"Ah, what's going on?" Sam returned from the restroom.
"Nothing," Dean was quick to respond.
"I would like Dean to hit me in the balls, but he refuses. I think it would be an interesting experience and surely payment enough for my mistakes from yesterday."
Sam sat there with his month popped open, wishing he was still in the bathroom. He looked at Dean who had his head in his palms. This was going to be a long day.
The boys hit the road without saying a word, not that Dean would allow any reasonable conversation at the level he was blasting his music. Sam, after all these years, finally invested in some earplugs and was quietly asleep in the front seat. Castiel sat quietly in the backseat brooding over his ignored question. He ran through his celestial mind every instance where he had been hit, searching for something to compare the sensation with. It wasn't like the angel was fond of pain, he was just curious. Did human women have a weak spot too? Why were certain spots more sensitive than others? Certainly Castiel has felt a wide variety of blows over his life time, but nothing compared to what Dean had gone through. Just the thought of the hunter cowered in pain on the ground because of him was enough to make him squirm in guilt. Suddenly with a large bump, the Impala ran over a discarded beer bottle and the tire blew out and deflated.
"Damn it!" Dean cursed and slammed his hands on the steering wheel. He was very familiar with the sound of a tire popping.
The sudden shift in balance of the car was enough to wake Sam. He didn't need to ask, one look at Dean told him this was a car problem. Dean pulled over to the side of road, turning the car off, and got out. He checked the back tires and sure enough the tire was now dead flat.
"Fuck!" Dean kicked at the dirt.
Castiel slid over to the driver's side with a curious look on his face. "What happened?" He asked Sam who was still groggy with sleep.
"Flat tire," Sam sighed, the job would go a lot faster if two people helped change it. He rounded to the back of the car where Dean was already fishing out a spare. "Need any help."
"Help," Dean grumbled. "What I need is for fucking assholes to pick their fucking trash!" Dean pulled out the tire and car crank.
Sam shrugged and walked off to the edge of the brush to take a leek. He knew better to get between Dean and his car. Castiel exited the car quietly and watched Dean change the tire in silence. The angel could tell the hunter was angry about the flat tire but there was an odd air of peace around Dean as he fixed it. To Dean changing a tire was not a chore but a service he offered willingly and with great care. Sam returned from the woods and stood next to Cas.
"His mind is at peace." Castiel spoke but not directed to anyone.
"Yeah," Sam took a long breath and looked down the road. It was hot and he was eager to get back on the road. He took one look at Cas and could tell something was eating him up inside. "Everything okay?"
"No, I still am curious about how the pain of getting hit in the balls is any different from getting hit anywhere else on the body." Castiel said flatly in his deep gravelly voice.
Although Sam could not see Dean he could tell his brother was rolling his eyes. "Ah, Cas, it's really not anything you want to experience." This conversation was becoming even more awkward than before.
"I know, I just can't help but find my mind wondering to the subject more and more." He glanced at Sam.
Dean rolled his eyes trying to ignore the conversation his brother and angel were having. It was a hot 90 degree day and he was on the ground in the dirt changing a tire and listening to two guys try to explain what getting hit in the balls felt like. This had to be one of the most ridiculous conversation's he had ever heard. He listened on and on about Cas' reasoning and Sam's awkward but ever enduring responses it was enough to drive any sane person crazy.
"Sam I understand that it is a sensitive region," Cas argued back clearly not happy with the responses he was receiving.
Sam sighed "Cas it's," he exhaled exasperatedly.
"Sam I wont be offended you hit me-" And suddenly there was a sharp unexplainable pain between Castiel's legs. He shrieked and dropped to the ground like a dead body. The pain was so unbearable that it made his stomach churn causing him to heave. He coughed and tucked his head between his legs, as his hands clutched his balls.
"There you happy." Dean stood up, ignoring his brother's bitch face.
"Dean!" Sam looked so angry, causing his face to scrunch up. He bent down to comfort his fallen friend.
"He asked for it," Satisfied with finally shutting the angel up. He watched in silent pleasure as the angel coughed and heaved. "What did I tell yeah." He said to himself, shaking his head as he glanced at the newly changed tire.