Hello folks. A couple things before we get started.

Thing One: I'm just going to say this up front: this is going to be a story for me to just sit down and write. I don't intend to really plan this out at all and might put in less than what I would want into the quality of this. That being said, I am NOT going to NOT put effort into this. This is just a little warm up for what I have planned to post that I am actually planning out and have major goals for. I'm also not going to lie about some super specific uploading schedule I want to have in place or whatever. I am endeavoring to practice my writing in a creative way because I do enjoy it; I'm just not the most motivated person out there.

Thing Two: I haven't posted under this account name before but I have under a previous account. I think I took the story down and now I can't remember it or my account name – not to mention that this was probably four computers ago, hardware flies when you're having fun, no? Wait, I'm being told that that is neither the right expression nor the right situation for it. Oh well – but onward, says I!

Cat In The Hat: Wait! I've got it! 'Writing in a creative way:' Creative Writing! I'm a genius!

Disclaimer: Wait, that isn't a Doctor Seuss reference, I want my money back! How am I supposed to buy the rights to Naruto now?

Summary: Dead-last, loser, demon, monster. These were the things they called him, the things they hated him for. He tried to become what so many people treated him like: nothing. Maybe it was better this way, unnoticed. Just be there without being there. Maybe the hate would go away, if only because they didn't know where to turn it. Wait, what's the loudmouthed Hyuuga-prankster doing? Oh no.

Make Me Shinobi

Chapter One

The Konohagakure Ninja Academy is considered by most to be the finest academy among the Hidden Villages, if 'most' meant Konoha. And if someone actually sifted through the ninja that it produces annually and those that ever make it past the rank of chuunin they might just find out that 'finest' seems to have the wrong definition in the dictionary. In fact, were this mysterious person – who is to remain nameless – to dig even deeper into the scandalous world of this academic teaching they might just find that it's been slipping recently. Slipping badly. The cause for this was all because of one Uzumaki Naruto. That's what any sane villager would say, at least.

"How could the Hokage allow that thing to enter into the ninja academy?"

"Doesn't he know the destruction and havoc it wreaked not some 11 years ago?"

"He must be going senile!"

"I heard it failed, for the second time too! Another year in the academy, ha!"

"Just think if it was released-"

"-Shut up! We can't talk about that!"

He tried not to pay attention to the conversation going on not even ten feet away. The tiny swing set in front of the academy was his only bastion in the aftermath of the graduation exam. He had failed again. The parents had come to pick up their children, praise was sung, heads were playfully noogied. Whispers shared. They weren't trying to hide their contempt for him, they never did. He didn't know who they were hiding it from, but it definitely wasn't him. The Hokage certainly didn't care enough to do anything. He was used to it by now; at least that's what he told himself.

Who cares if I didn't pass, those kids were jerks anyhow! Who needs 'em? I can make better friends this year! Friends my own age, who care! The tears rolling down his cheeks disputed every word, and inside he knew it was a foolish thought. No one cared for him. He had no parents, no friends. Half the village didn't acknowledge his existence until he needed to be forcibly removed from a store or from a market stand. The other half acknowledged his presence with harsh words and harsher glares, filled with hatred and contempt. They all told their kids to stay away, to bully him, to ignore him, to never be nice, never look at him. People would actively avoid crossing his shadow and tell their children to never let his touch theirs. He once found it odd, having a tiny understanding of what the Nara clan used as their main tactic. That feeling quickly faded into the nothingness.

He didn't know how long he'd been there, tears long since dry, but he was just in time for the 'Academy Meet-up,' the annual get together for the new genin class. He wouldn't go. Not after what happened last time, he knew better now. It was dark outside, the best time to go home. He wasn't dead-last for lack of trying, and more for lack of teachers. They all ignored him.

Like normal. The only instruction he could get was his own, the class lectures or just plain eavesdropping on other one-on-one instruction going on that day. But the night was his friend. This was the one thing people taught him daily, don't be seen. If you're seen, then you will get beaten. He had tried to be the loudmouth once, to attract attention, to not be ignored. He had worn bright orange the first couple weeks of the academy, but quickly learned why that was a bad idea. He wore a deep blue shirt most of the time now, a similar deep blue jacket covering it – never to be left at home, lest he never see it again – and some non-descript black pants. His sandals were the usual blue but worn near their breaking point and slightly tight. Luckily, if his situation could ever be called that, his clothes were just now starting to fit better, having been a couple sizes too big at first. He had nothing else, the monthly stipend barely paid for his apartment and rarely for any decent amount of food. The pants still were too big to wear without a belt and, although he hid it under his still-too-large coat, had to settle for a dirty piece of rope he had managed to find. Unfortunately the weapons pouch strapped to his leg both did little to help hold them up and was more for show than anything. He didn't have a single usable kunai or shuriken and he was thankful that the tests forced you to use the academies weapons else he'd never pass. He lifted his head from the rope of the swing set it was resting on, a red mark left plainly on his forehead.

Better than these whiskers. Maybe it was the three marks on each of his cheeks, giving the appearance of whiskers adorning his face that made everyone hate him. It didn't make sense, but his mind had scrambled for an answer for way too many years for him to care about coherency.

"Hinata! Come here this instant! We are already late for the meeting and I will not have your insolence make us any later!" Anger. He knew it well, but it was different. It wasn't laced with the usual venom, although that had to be because it was not currently directed at him. Naruto turned his head slightly to the right, away from the academy doors that had long since swallowed the crowding parents of the new genin. He saw an infuriated man dragging a struggling and unwilling little girl. Both of them had the same dark hair and the same lifeless white eyes without pupils. No. That wasn't right. From what Naruto could see of the ever approaching girl, through the violent jerking of her head, she had deep blue hair, flared up a little at the back with two long strands that framed her face. But it was the eyes, from what he could tell, that were much different from the anger-intoxicated man that must be her father. He couldn't get a good look though, she was squeezing them tight too often and he was still too far away, despite the relatively close proximity, to see properly.

"Let me go! They'll all see my greatness tomorrow anyway, why do we need to go tonight? I'd rather get back at cousin Neji for what he said to me!" The girl, still struggling, had begun to dig her heals into the ground and trying to pull herself from his grip.

"All he did was accuse you of gluing all of his books to the ceiling," a retort was about to fly from the young girls lips, but the father was quicker, "which you readily confessed to! With pride no less!" His anger only grew as the young girl barked out a loud laugh at her own antics.

"But he was always complaining about being glued to them, so I just wanted to help!" The sickly sweet voice went unheard, which prompted a more childish approach of stomping on the ground and, eventually, the father's own rear-end. He seemed unfazed by it though. Perhaps to maintain some semblance of dignity in the midst of such a tantrum.

So this is one of my classmates? Loud, obnoxious, arrogant, spoiled too. She'll be the first. He turned his attention to the academy as they passed his spot on the swing set. He tried to ignore them, knowing that he might provoke the father if he so much as looked at the girl the wrong way, but couldn't help but notice the girl had stopped struggling and was now trotting alongside her father, while slowly following him with her head. White-but-not-white eyes met his sparkling blue eyes and a wicked grin slowly appeared on her face as they disappeared through the academy doors.

Oh no. He bolted. Tripping as his foot got caught in the swings barely seemed to slow him down as he made for his apartment, sticking to the shadows as much as he could. He didn't like that look the girl gave him. He barely maneuvered out of the way of a trashcan, filled to the brim with glorious muck, as her face pierced his thoughts. Tomorrow was the first day of the year for the new genin-to-be and she was certainly going to be there. It didn't bode well. What did that man say her name was again?

(Konohagakure Ninja Academy: Seven Twenty-Six in the Morning)

"Hello assholes! Time to wake up and kiss my ass!" Four minutes until class started and Naruto could already tell he was in trouble.

Did she really have to kick open the door? I almost feel bad for the person who has to fix that. Almost. The latch looked like it might have flown across the room from the kick, although it was hard to tell what flew off of the door from the third row up. He liked this seat, unnoticed, far away. He could hopefully avoid as much attention as possible from up here. If the class size was roughly the same then there should be plenty of seats left over, meaning that the kids will try to stay away from him and the last row should be relatively free: monkey see, monkey do. And then he saw her. Or, really, he saw her staring at him, that stupid grin on her face again. He hoped she didn't see him quiver underneath his deep blue coat as the chill went up his spine. She was heading right for him.

Calm down. She's just trying to get in your head. Don't let her know that it's working. I'm sure she wouldn't actually sit next to you. She was already up the first set of stairs, passing the first row slowly. She didn't even hesitate as she climbed up the second set of three steps onto the second level. He was quite visibly tensed up, breathe hitched in his throat. And then, she stopped, turned the right – her left – traveled two seats in and sat down. Right in front of Naruto.

No big, no big. She's just sitting in front of me, she obviously doesn't want to sit near me, she just didn't realize-

"Hey."

Oh crud, when did she get there? No, no, no, no! She was standing on her chair facing him. Her arms folded over his section of the long table. Her head was tilted ever so slightly to her right. He couldn't help but notice her eyes, the pale lavender tint that had just eluded him last night. He never questioned his sight, how he had seen them in the night from perhaps 20 feet away and could make out the shade of her hair, very deep blue as it were, in the darkness with only a small lamp on the academy front doors. He didn't know he saw any different from anyone else. Maybe that was why those lavender eyes were so breath-taking up close. He would even go so far as to say they were gorgeous, although never aloud. He hardly ever talked in general, much less about some girl's looks. He didn't want to imagine the kind of trouble he'd get into for that. But it was still a fact that those pupil-less eyes were there, staring into his. He felt as though he were gorging himself after years of malnourishment, hardly able to take in the sizable meal in front of him. Not that he really knew what a 'sizeable meal' really looked like. Why were his fists clenched on the table again? Then he saw that wicked grin and remembered.

"You're kind of cute, you know?" Her voice was low, and he knew that nobody was looking; no one ever did if they could help it.

Other than her, but…but she must be planning something. Wait…cute? He didn't get more than a moment to ponder what she had said before she was propped up on her elbows, her face quickly closing the distance between them and giving him a peck on the tip of his nose. What may have felt like infinity was really only a brief few seconds, and then the pain came. There was an audible smack and the blue-haired girl sat back in her seat indignantly from where she had just slapped him across the face.

"I'm not that kind of girl, Blondie!" She shouted, much louder than necessary for everyone to hear her. A few of the boys in the first row had turned around and every single girl in the classroom, aside from pretty Miss Lavender, was now glaring at him angrily, their pervert detectors now on high alert. The boys that had turned around, including one that looked like he had dog on his head, just started laughing loudly at the situation, or at Naruto, he wasn't sure which.

What...what just happened? His hand couldn't decide whether to cover his cheek or his nose and just settled for grasping at air halfway between the two. Noting all of the heated glares coming his way, he tried to sink as low into the chair as possible. This girl had just ruined his chances of being invisible. Maybe that was what she had wanted, or maybe she just didn't realize that everyone else hated him and was a little slow. Either way it didn't matter.

If only I knew how bad this would be, maybe I would've just stayed in bed. The classroom door opening tore the few remaining glares away from him as the teacher entered the room, a newly recruited one it seemed. His brown hair was tied in a high-ponytail, the familiar leaf headband tied tight around his forehead. His most striking feature, however, was the horizontal scar across his nose. He seemed confused at the lack of resistance from the door as well as the fact that it didn't shut at all, but shrugged it off, opting to set his book and folder on the teacher's desk at the lowest part of the room. He smiled wide.

"Welcome students," a short pause, arms held wide open, "to the Konoha Ninja Academy! Now I know that I've all met with you and your parents face to face, but let's start by introducing yourselves to the class as some of you haven't met everyone yet. Plus it'll help me to remember all of your names!" His smile never faltered as he looked around the classroom, finally settling his gaze on a girl on the end of the front row. "How about you start us off, young lady? How about a name, some likes, dislikes, and maybe your dream for the future. Go on ahead!"

Naruto tuned it out as soon as it started. He would be left out again and he enjoyed that. That was if that girl didn't ruin that too, he was hoping to still skirt by with some trace amounts of animosity. He could tell none of the students outright recognized him as 'that fucking demon child.' That insult was courtesy of a middle-aged women, who he had the displeasure of meeting on his early morning walk to class. He could still feel the thwack of the broom on his back a little. He hoped that he could keep that a secret from the class as long as possible. The girl in front of him suddenly was standing with one foot on her chair and another commandingly on top of her desk, an arm pointing skyward, proudly proclaiming that her dream was to send her cousin back to whatever hell he must have come from. She was rather enthused with that prospect, although Naruto assumed, for the minimal amount of attention he paid it, that she was pulling the classes' collective leg. The teacher just smiled and nodded at her, which put her off-balance for a second, before she calmly sat back down. No one knew of the vengeance she was planning against the teacher.

"And last but not least." Naruto had zoned out a bit again, staring at the desk in front of him, his hands tucked together between his legs.

If I could just figure out how to stay away from that one, I'm sure that this won't be as ba-

"Hey Blondie, he means you!" A hushed whisper from in front of him broke him out of his trance. He looked at the girl – What was her name? – and then at the teacher, his smile still placed conveniently on his face.

"Finally came back to us, huh? Why don't you introduce yourself?" Naruto didn't want to believe that kindness in his voice, he couldn't believe it. He wouldn't. This guy was just like all the others, except, he wasn't. He actually noticed Naruto, or at least he called out on him. Naruto was unsure where to start, unsure what to say. He didn't have time to practice, or he did but he didn't think he'd be called on.

This guy must want all the students to know so they know who to pick on. Great. "My-my n-name is Uzumaki N-Naruto." Every single student he could see, which was most of them, flinched visibly upon hearing the name. Well, except for that girl in front of him, she gave him that stupid grin and a thumbs-up, which was pointing down since she was tipping her chair back and leaning as far could without falling. What are you at?

"Go on." This teacher could have just been stupid to not see that just about everyone stiffened up from hearing just his name. Then again Naruto could be a girl.

"I-I like ramen. I don't r-really dislike m-much." HE LIED. Naruto was taken aback by the sudden intense thought that found its way into his head. Images began filtering through his head, every face a villager he could remember from some kind of spat that they had had before. Of course I dislike them, he thought, but I can't just say that. I'll get killed. He wasn't sure why he was having this conversation with himself, but he had no one better to talk to. He didn't count that girl or what she did, as he, at that point, had literally not said a single word to her, despite the dozen or so she'd said to him.

He honestly hated speaking. Years of having no one to help and the either hurtful words or complete ignorance of him by the villagers made his speech a stuttering mess and he had nothing that he ever really want to say. "Anything else? What about your dream?" That stupid smile was still on his face, it was beginning to grate on his nerves.

"I-I don't really have one."

"Liar." Why did she care so much about making him suffer? Couldn't she just wait until break to stuff his face in the dirt? It would be a lot less painful for him and probably less troubling for her.

She must have something she's trying to do. Maybe provoke me? So she can beat me up with the righteous authority that she craves? It isn't as if beating me up is punishable. I think there are at least three different food stands that offer a discount if someone does it in front of them. He hated this place. If he didn't know that those stupid masked men would stop it before he got seriously injured he would try to piss off as many people as much as possible just so maybe he could be unconscious for a few peaceful hours. That's no way to think. THEN WHAT IS? This time Naruto was visibly shaken from the sudden voice in his head that definitely wasn't his own.

"She's right! You must have some kind of dream."

Are they still going on about this? He supposed it had only been a few seconds but he had been spacing out again.

"Yeah! I bet you want to be Hokage, right? With all that power over the village!"

Is she trying to get me killed? PROBABLY. He couldn't dispute that that time it could have been his voice; he had been thinking the same thought. "N-no. I don't really-really w-want power. I-I just…" Want to turn invisible… "…n-nothing. I d-don't real-really h-have a dr-dream." YOU ARE PATHETIC. Naruto wasn't sure what to feel at that moment. He just wanted to go away. I know… I know.

The girl, when Naruto took the courage to actually look up from his desk to take a quick peak, was looking at him with a bewildered face. The teacher had apparently accepted his nervous answer and had taken two steps backward toward the desk. "For those of you who may have forgotten me, or just plain didn't come to visit last night," his eyes landed on Naruto but his smile never faded, "my name is Iruka, and I will be your academy instructor." Naruto was starting to get a really bad feeling in the pit of his stomach and this creepy girl wasn't helping either. She had started rubbing her hands together, giggling madly to herself. If that wasn't bad enough – Naruto did, in fact, think it was quite bad enough – she had turned around and blown him a kiss when the teacher was scribbling something on the board. He tried to ignore her. He really didn't want to get slapped again.

Maybe this girl is just nuts and doesn't realize that I'm someone to be hated. I don't know if that's better or not…I can at least handle the hate, but I really don't know what to do if this girl is crazy.

End

Korisen