-PROLOGUE-
Did you know that, sometimes, being an Avenger is pretty damn weird? Well it is. We battle time-travellers, alien invaders, would-be world conquerors, giant monsters, radioactive science freaks... Uh, no offense to those on the team who may or may not be on that list but that kind of thing is weird. But lemme tell you one thing: of all the messed up shit I've seen as an Avenger, there is nothing you can do or say that will make me go into that town again. I'm still trying to come up with a reason why it wasn't real.
What happened was that Tony Stark went missing. Can't really remember the details anymore but basically we'd been in contact with Stark as he was on mission, and then we lost all contact with him. All contact. Even JARVIS wasn't responding, which was confusing as if Tony had just been compromised then JARVIS would still work, right? So someone had to go and look for the expected dead billionaire, even though I was certain Stark had just pissed off on holiday because he'd given up on his mission – it would explain why JARVIS was switched off. It would make sense for him to up and leave in silence, too, as Tony was the one who created the mission in the first place, and he had way too much pride to admit he didn't want to do it anymore. Anyway. The next thing I knew was that I was asking around secluded villages in West Virginia for any sign of Tony Stark; Natasha screaming at me through a walkie-talkie (ok, maybe not screaming but she just kept bossing me around even when she wasn't there) and I eventually ended up on this old foggy road in the middle of the woods. So, anyway, I've been instructed by Mr Furious to give an account of what happened – because let's just say, things got a little out of hand – and so here it is. You're reading it. Ain't you a special snowflake?