Author's Note:PLEASE READ. Warning: pretty long. Okay so this took a lot of thought for me to decide to write this because I'm not sure if I'll be able to explain it right. Bare with me.

Do you guys remember "For All These Times" ? If you've read it, Julia's last name was Julia Mason. Just like Spinner's last name. Well...this book if the reason why. Okay. Let me try to explain this. It has all the character's names and some of the plot, but it really isnt anything like Degrassi. In this, Julia's brothers are Spinner and JT, Liberty and Peter get together, it's completey weird, but it uses the same names and some plots. If you guys dont understand or dont want me to update after this chapter I will take it down. I really like this, but it is confusing. Kinda block out of your mind everything that's happened on Degrassi when you read this and you might get it.

I rounded the corner, looking for JT. He was no where to be found. Street after street, and still nothing.

When I rounded the last street corner, I found him, propped up against his car, blood pool under him.

I couldnt move, I couldnt breathe. My legs carried me forward without a concious command to my brain. I dropped down next to him and craddle him in my arms.

As much as I begged him not to die, he still shuddered and still heaved. The knife, sticking blood-stained out of his back, seemed morbidly glued inside of him.

Peter rounded the corner, striding down the street like it was nothing. I begged him to call the cops, the ambulance, to just help. He smiled and shrugged. He smug words still burned like acid in my ears.

"Why should I? With JT out of the way, Liberty is all mine,"

He turned and walked away.

I was left alone in the dark streets of Toronto, my baby brother dying in my arms.

I woke up, screaming at the top of my lungs. The dream was so real. Because it wasnt a dream - it was a memory.

Spinner came rushing in, even though he knew why I was screaming and he knew that nothing would bring JT back. I was all alone in this cold, empty apartment, with no one but Spinner.

"It's okay," he assured over and over.

Words. That's all they are. No, it was not okay. Our brother was dead and no words could bring him back.

I didnt argue. Just sobbed and let him hold me. The family photo of me, mom, dad, Spinner and JT mocked me, screaming memories at me.

I wanted to scream out loud but never could. Minus waking up from the memory, I showed no emotion to what had happened in the past three months.

No one but Spinner know how I felt. Being the older brother, he showed no emotion either. He kept it bottled up.

The three worst months of summer came to an end and Spinner let go of me when I stopped crying. I got ready for my first day of Senior year. Yay.

A deep breath as I looked in the mirror and a tug on my sleeve to hide the scars. Perfect.

Spinner knocked on the door, "You ready?"

I nodded, though he couldnt see, and opened the door. "I'm ready,"

.

.

.

When we arrived at my school, Spinner got out and opened the door for me. I rearranged my features into a smile and got out.

"Okay, Jules, worst summer ever, but dont let it ruin your Senior year. You're a Mason - You can do this,"

I nodded, fighting back a scream. Dont let it ruin my Senior year? My senior year - and my life - was ruined the moment I knew JT wouldnt be a Junior.

"Mason, I got it. I know. Thanks, Spin, I know," I hugged him and turned towards the front of the school. One more deep breath and I walked up the stairs to where Eli was waiting.

He took my hand. "How are you?"

I wasnt sure. Eli knew about JT, but he didnt know everything else. No one else knew about that.

"I'm fine," I assured and we walked to class.

The walk to class was quiet. I didnt speak much since my summer. Everytime I opened my mouth, I was afraid I was going to scream. We walked into the classroom and took our seats.

Peter and Liberty walked in the room, hand in hand. I bit my tongue and looked away.

It wasnt the fact that JT had died over Liberty. Dre was jealous of JT for being with Liberty and stabbed him. Peter didnt help for the same reason.

Now they walked into the room, kissing and giggling and Liberty showed no remorse over my dead brother.

I never told anyone that Peter had found us that night. Not even Spinner. It wouldnt bring JT back, so what was the point?

Liberty muttered something about JT and Peter said, "Forget about him,"

Forget about him? Forget about JT? I stood up. I realized all eyes were on me, but I didnt care. I stormed towards Peter. He looked up, but before he could speak, I pulled my arm back and let it snap forward with as much force as I was capable of.

"Julia!" Liberty screamed.

I turned to her and pushed her. She grimaced and pushed me back. I went to launch myself at her, but Eli wrapped his arms around my waist and yanked me back.

"What is wrong with you?" Liberty screamed.

The teacher came into the room. "Miss Mason!" he called.

Peter's upper lip wsa bleeding and Mr. Perino gave him a tissue. "Julia, I think you should go to the princaple's office,"

"And if I dont?"

"Do I need to call your-"

"No!" I cut him off. "But I wont go anywhere. And if you call my brother, he'll agree with me,"

"Would you like to call him and tell him yourself about fighting on the first day?"

"Fine," I shrugged out of Eli's hold and walked towards the phone.

"Hello?" Spinner answered.

"Spinner, come pick me up,"

"I just got home, I may take awhile,"

"Just come,"

"Fine," he sighed.

I ran out the room, not bothering to listen to Mr. Perino call after me.

I ran to the bathroom to wait for Spinner. As I sat in the stall and I cried, I traced over my old scars and new cuts on my wrist. I reached up to tak eht barrette out of my hair.

For the breif seconds the metal cut my wrist, I couldnt think about JT or Peter or my parents. I could only focus on the pain in my wrist and that was enough. Anytime I could focus on other pain was good enough for me.

Author's Note: *takes cover* I really feel like I should hide. Review with your honest opinion please so I know if I should continue it.