A/N This is set after the Doctor leaves Rose on Bad Wolf Bay for the first time after Doomsday. Enjoy.
He went. He's really gone. The last three words I will ever hear him say are imprinted in my brain. Repeating themselves over and over again like some magical spell that will hopefully finish the sentence. "Rose Tyler, I...". The same every time. Unfinished and incomplete like I am.
I try to explain to people what happened. How I knew he was going to be there, standing alone on the beach. A solitary figure in the distance. What he is to most people. The silhouette in the distance, with out a name, meaning or explanation as to who he is. He's always there, so I knew he would be there that day. That was the day I had my faith restored in everything. Before that I was simply and empty human-shaped shell with noting but despair deep in my heart.
I was alone for so long. Sure, I had Mum, Dad, and Mickey but I didn't have the most important thing to me. I tried to move on with my life so I replaced him. I fell in love with solitude. Submerged myself in it like bathwater. Soaked in it, let it wash over my skin, crawl into my pores and settle in my heart. I inhaled loneliness like it was the sweetest thing that had ever embraced me. I didn't eat. I rarely slept. I just sat staring out of the window. The flowers would bounce under the stress of the rain. Every drop that hit them shook them, not unlike the constant tears and the shattering memories of the event that took away my life. The refreshing noise of water on glass grew to be one of my favourite sounds. The pitter patter of tiny droplets entranced me. Studying the patterns they formed on the window as they rolled down.
No one heard from me. For weeks I was invisible to humanity. Sometimes suicide really did seem like my best option. My thoughts always haunted me. If wasn't not one thing, it was another. I don't even think I really had that bad of a life. My mind just wouldn't not shut up. I couldn't sleep. Ever. Because my thoughts paraded around in my head and keeping me awake. Maybe if I just ended it or if I could have slept, they would be silenced. I always wondered if anyone would miss me. They didn't seem to at the moment. The Doctor didn't seem to...