Warning: Trigger warnings. Pretty dark and sad.
It was just something I started writing on paper for myself and turned into this depressing little one shot. I had to get it out of my system though. If you're reading this then you're probably in a dark place too. I hope you get better even though this story probably won't help much.
Why do they hate me?
I never did anything to them. I just wanted to be their friend. I even developed a few school girl crushes on them. But one by one they turned against me. It was subtle at first. An occasional mean comment or ignoring what I say. But then it got worse.
I couldn't say anything without being verbally attacked. It was as if I didn't exist some days and if I did exist than I was nothing more than an annoyance to them.
I want to cry, but they don't deserve my tears. I'm better than them. At least, that's what I tell myself. It doesn't matter though. I end up crying anyway.
Some days I just stop talking. I just listen to everyone around me go on with their lives as if I don't exist. That's okay though. Maybe they just think I'm tired. Eventually someone will notice and talk to me. No one does though.
And so it gets more frequent. I sit in my seat and I don't open my mouth. I have no opinions left to talk about anyway, I stopped caring. At least, until night time. That's when I cry myself to sleep.
I find myself wearing darker clothing. Not in all black but just not in bright colors. Bright colors are too flashy. They attract the small attention I can still acquire. But I don't want the attention anymore. I've grown used to the silence.
I started cutting myself. It's not like the stuff you read about. I don't cut to use physical pain to distract myself from the emotional pain. I do it so I never forget the pain they caused me. It's even a little addicting. It's even a little fun.
I guess I know why they hate me. I hate myself now too.
Sorry for the depressing ending but it's just how I feel right now.
Review what you think and maybe even why you were reading this if you think it'll help.
I hope you all feel better or found what you were looking for.
~N