Rodney Mckay walked through the spacious forest. His eyes were focused on his life signs detector. He was following that ever-elusive energy signature that appeared every sixth planet and was never anything of interest.
He yelped and dropped his scanner as a blur of pink landed atop it. He yanked out his 9-mil and aimed at the furless creature.
"Somethin' wrong Rodney?" Lt. Col. John Sheppard appeared at his side, doing his best not to smirk too noticeably.
The little creature was the spitting image of a mexican walking fish. However, Rodney, having never seen or heard of one took it to be an unknown alien creature. It was baby-pink with small beads for eyes and gray freckles covered a portion of it's face.
"It's a... a... it just.. y'know... startled me." Rodney stuttered. He cautiously poked the salamander with the toe of his boot. It twitched and Rodney jerked his leg back. Hearing someone clear their throat, Rodney looked up. John's face was turning slightly red and his mouth was pressed into a thin line.
"What? You scared of it too? You allergic to salamanders?"
"I never said I was scared of it." John's voice was a little higher in pitch than normal. Suddenly, unable to contain himself any longer, he burst out laughing. Rodney turned to see Teyla Emmagon grinning and Ronon Dex smirking. He turned red, realizing just what was going on.
"You think this is so funny huh?"
"It was so lonely sitting on the edge of the ocean, I couldn't resist him." John said after getting a hold of his laughter.
"You did it on purpose!" Rodney turned even redder. "Oh that's just..." He bent and snatched up his scanner, forgetting the walking fish. Huffing he continued to follow his wild goose chase of an energy signature. Meanwhile Teyla had started to giggle and John and Ronon were chuckling. Rodney continued with as much dignity as he could muster, which wasn't much.
"Would you cut it back there." Rodney complained as the giggles and chuckles turned into to quiet laughter.
Rodney persevered for three hours. The energy signature was so whacked out Rodney gave in and attributed it to the planets magnetic field. Under different circumstances he would've spent the rest of the planet's daylight hours looking but his teammates were having a hard time containing their laughter. Personally Rodney didn't think anything, no matter how funny, could keep three normally stoic people laughing for three hours.
"Let's get back to the gate." He growled. Rodney McKay dialed quickly, ready to go lock himself in his lab away from the rest of the teams incessant laughter.
The Gate's event horizon exploded into existence, relief flooded Rodney at the prospect of his quiet lab. He headed toward the gate and entered his IDC.
"Uh Rodney-" John began. Rodney stepped through the gate effectively cutting off the rest of sentence. Rodney was greeted by a burst of uncontrolled giggles, chuckles, chortles, and outright laughter.
Unknown to poor Rodney, his little walking fish friend had disappeared to his back-pack and let off a small sound that broadcasted on a frequency he couldn't hear. One by one mexican walking fish look-a-likes climbed up his pant leg and latched on to his back-pack. A few even remained on his pants. So for three hours his team mates had watched the little creatures hitch a ride.
"What!" Rodney threw his hands up in the air.
John, Teyla, and Ronon stepped in and the gate shut down.
"Here Rodney lemme get your back-pack." John lifted of his shoulders and brought it in to view. Rodney turned a remarkable shade of scarlet. The laughter continued. Rodney glanced down to find six of the creatures on each leg. He angrily shoved them off.
Dr. Smith, the leading biologist, practically skipped into the gate room, looking like a child with free candy. "Wonderful specimens Colonel, thank you very much."
"No problem Doc, was a piece of cake." The colonel answered smoothly.
"Wait, you knew?" Rodney looked at John incredulously. The laughter had finally subsided as everyone went back to work.
John stepped forward and placed his hand on Rodney's back. As they started toward the infirmary from post-mission check up he said, "Well, you see Rodney, Dr. Smith wanted t run some tests on the animal there and the natives of the planet told us that they were easy enough to catch it was keeping them that was the hard part. So we put some... stuff in your pack and the all came for it you got back here safe and sound. You are probably the hero of the botany department right now. I'm sure Katie Brown will be impressed."
"Well, if you put it that way." Rodney said considering. "Thanks then."
"No problem, but, uh, Rodney."
"What?"
"You may want a change of clothes first."
"Why?" Confused he looked down. His pants were covered in little bright pink foot prints.
Unfortunately for Rodney he'd never get them off no matter how much soap or bleach he used. Of course, John wasn't going to tell him that. At least not yet. He also planned on omitting the teeny tiny detail that the color would spread through all the fabric material it came into contact with.
Good times, John thought.
The End.