Hawke stood and stared at the back of Anders' head. She looked as if she wished she could tunnel inside and read his thoughts. He was sitting on a crate, staring into space in the aftermath of his demolition of the Chantry. Slowly she walked around so she could see his face. She knelt in front of him, resting her elbows on his knees, she held his face in her hands so he would look her in the eyes. He continued to stare as if her face was not inches from his own.

"How could you?" she whispered. Her voice was soft, not angry. It couldn't even be described as sad. It illustrated despair and heartbreak so distinctly that the others turned away, flinching at the sound.

Except for Sebastian. His anger clouding his mind, he lashed out, "Why are you drawing this out, just kill him!" Aveline grabbed his arm and drug him away hissing under her breath.

It was as if Hawke did not hear him. She had eyes and ears only for Anders. "How could you?" she repeated.

"I'm changing the world," Anders replied simply, "I thought you of all people would understand."

Her eyes narrowed slightly. "After all the time we've spent together, all we've done together, you thought I would condone the slaughter of innocent people?" she asked.

"I had hoped that from here you would support the mages in the battle to come, that you would look beyond the bloodshed to what effect the bloodshed will have on the future. The world will be better for this."

"You lied to me, you involved me in a scheme you knew I would oppose. Did you ever really love me or was it all part of your plan?" she asked her voice still soft but with an edge of steel.

"I do love you, I have always loved you." Anders replied. His eyes finally seemed to see her and he moved as if to touch her face, then dropped his hand.

"But not enough." she whispered. He had no reply. Hawke dropped her hands from his face and bowed her head, she seemed to cave in on herself and the others could see she was desperately trying to keep from falling apart. As she raised her head again, they saw tears on her face, but she wiped them away and reached for her dagger. She held it to Anders' chest. "You deserve this." she said coldly.

"I know."

She didn't move. Her hands began to shake, then her whole body. He did not move to comfort her or help her. Finally she dropped the knife. "I can't!" she gasped, "Maker knows I should, but I can't! I don't have the heart left to do so." She rose and turned her back, tears streaming down her face.

Sebastian stalked to her, "Elthina was like a mother to me!" he yelled, "He must pay for what he has done, I demand his death!"

"If you require such, you will have to get your hands dirty yourself Sebastian." she replied hoarsely, her throat full of sobs she was trying to suppress. Before she could even think, Sebastian had his own dagger in hand and he drew it across Anders' throat.

At the sight of Anders' life pouring from him like a crimson waterfall she fell to her knees beside him. There was an uproar around her as her friends rushed Sebastian and wrenched the blade from his hand.

"You could have at the very least let her turn away!" Aveline growled vehemently, but Hawke did not hear. Her arms were there to catch Anders and she held him, grabbing his hand. He squeezed it before managing to murmer,

"Breaking your heart is my only regret."

Hawke didn't know how long she sat there, holding his hand, putting to memory his expression as he breathed his last. Love had radiated from his face like sunbeams and she must remember every detail, every line. She must know it by heart. Finally she rose and took a deep breath, burying her anguish. She didn't look at her companions but said simply, "Let's go, it's going to be a long night."