I wanted to title this chapter "The Strange Case of the Missing Genuine Rare Vintage Black and Brown Suede Gucci Monogram Envelope Clutch Purse" but apparently it's too long…so I put it here!

Just something that came to me at 1:30 in the morning…I may write a few more of these little thingys… R&R please J

Unfortunately, my name is Stephanie Meyer only in my imaginary land therefore I do not own Twilight....

Rosalie POV

I detested high school. Positively, absolutely loathed it. I knew every answer, yet teachers never called on me. Every time I turned around, there was another acne-infested teenage boy staring at my boobs. I had to carry around ridiculous textbooks that were so mundane they probably could have put even me to sleep. The parking lot was a living hell. And worst of all, school was apparently an inappropriate place to have sex.

All through my classes, I would daydream about what I would do to Emmett that night. Why not? He was my husband, I loved him with every fiber of my being, and I never wanted to be without him…and his amazingly huge, chiseled muscles. Of course, I would never tell him that. He's too egotistical already.

Every time the last bell would ring, I wanted to jump for joy. Another day of mindless chatter done. Seriously, I could be doing something so much more meaningful than studying subjects I'm already a master of. You know, something like staring at my beautiful reflection all day. Even better, since I finished an anatomy test early, I had even more time to plan my evening with Emmett, and boy was it a good one. For some reason, I found it oddly ironic that I thought up our night (and part of the morning ;)) in anatomy…ha. I was so ready to leave.

As usual, Emmett was waiting by the convertible for me, leaning up against the hood with his hands in his pockets. As usual, he was staring off into space. As usual, two and a half seconds after he came into my line of sight, his nostrils would twitch just a little at my scent and he would turn and smile at me. As usual, he looked me up and down slowly as I walked towards him, swinging my hips a little more than I normally did. And as usual, his eyes lingered on certain…areas…not that I minded, of course.

"Hey, baby," he said as I stopped in front of him to give him just a little kiss. His arms wrapped loosely around my waist. For some reason, it seemed that Emmett could never find clothes that fit him just right. His shirts were always tight at some point and this particular one was stretching to it's limits around his biceps.

"Hey yourself."

"How was your day?"

"Slightly hellish. Yours?"

"About the same," he replied with a laugh.

"You know what got me through the day?"

"You hid a mirror at every angle so you could stare at yourself?"

I wish. "No, you moron." I then proceeded to whisper in his ear all of the naughty little things I wanted to do to him right then and there. No need to go into detail, but it involved a lot of licking, biting, and moaning. Use your imagination. When I was finished, I moved my face to where our noses were touching. "How does that sound to you?" he grinned hugely.

"I love the way you think."

Unfortunately, when we got home, everyone was there. No alone time for us. I wanted him so bad! Even when we tried to be quiet they all said it sounded like a freight train was passing through the living room at the same time as an earthquake. Plus, I wasn't in the mood for quiet. …oh well. We would just have to wait.

So to keep my mind off of what I couldn't do, I decided to reorganize my closet. For some class, Emmett had had to set up some kind of "drive" to benefit under privileged people and had decided on a clothing drive. We had spent at least three hours going through all of my clothes, shoes, and accessories for things to donate and now everything was out of order.

First the jeans, arranged by cut and designer. Second, tops arranged by sleeve length and color. Third, shoes ordered by heel height and designer. Last but certainly not least, handbags arranged by color and-

Where was it? My genuine rare vintage black and brown suede Gucci monogram envelope clutch purse? My favorite vintage bag that I carried around almost twice a week (which is a lot since I have thirty-one bags that I try to cycle through)? I checked and rechecked every nook and cranny of my side of the closet. It wasn't in there. I didn't use it today so there was no way it was in the car. I never, ever left things lying around the house. Where could it be?

"So they all left to go hunting," I turned around to see my husband leaning against the doorway of the closet, already shirtless. For just a moment, I completely forgot about my missing purse and stared openly at his bulging arms, his creamy white abs, his chest, his hip flexors, the thin line of hair that led to… "And I was thinking about what you said earlier and… Are you okay, Rose? You look kinda panicked."

"Yeah, I'm fine, but have you seen my black and brown purse? The one I carry around a lot?" That was about all the description he would remember of it.

He thought about it for a minute, then a guilty expression slowly came over his face. Nervously, he ran a hand through his hair and cleared his throat. Why bother clearing it when there's nothing in there you dunce?

"Oh…that one…um, I thought you said that was one you didn't want so…yeah…" he trailed off, refusing to make eye contact with me and taking an intense interest in the carpet.

I can't be entirely sure but I think I stared at him for about five minutes, dumbfounded. He looked up at me, finally. I couldn't find my voice for sometime but when I finally did, it was shocked and furious at the same time. "You didn't." He looked back down like a rejected puppy.

"I did." I nearly exploded.

"EMMETT! YOU IDIOT, HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID?! THAT THING WAS VINTAGE! VINTAGE, EMMETT!!"

"THERE'S NO NEED TO YELL!" he hollered back at me, just to piss me off even more.

"You jackass!" before I could stop myself, I full out punched him in the jaw but rather than letting me get another swing in, he stopped it by grabbing my arm.

"Rosalie, dear, play nice. It was an accident," he chided, his tone back to normal.

"An accident my ass! I knew you hated that one!" I tried to hit him with my left hand this time, but he was way ahead of me. He grabbed that one too and began dragging me out the door. He pushed me back onto the bed and held my hands above my head in his vice-like grip. Without so much as a word, he started nibbling on my ear, my biggest weak spot.

"That's not going to make up for it!" I yelled from under him. But it's a good place to start… No! Stay mad!…or give in…

To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure what happened. One second I'm screaming insults at him, the next I'm tearing his clothes off and moaning his name. What I do know is that whatever happened, it was amazing.

"I love you," he said softly as we laid unclothed beneath the satin sheets, .

"I love you, too."

"God, you're even crazier in bed when you're mad." I listened to his voice rumble from where my head rested on his bare, marble-carved chest.

"What can I say? It's a good way to blow off some steam." I sighed contentedly. The bag really wasn't a big deal. I'm sure I could find it and pay whoever had it enough to get it back.

"Hey, Rose?"

"Hmm?"

"About that bag…"

"Yeah?"

"Well…I sort of lied… I know where it is. I didn't give it away." I sat up immediately and looked at him, not sure if I should be relieved or angry again.

"You what?! Why?!"

"Like I said, you're crazier in bed when you're mad." He smirked. For a second, I wanted to punch him. But then, I just decided to let it go. After all, it really had been incredible.

"Well where did you put it?" I demanded, just a little irritated now.

"The one place you would never look."

"Which is…?" he grinned even wider, showing all of his teeth.

"My side of the closet."

So yeah…that's my attempt at humor. Just don't be mean if you review! I don't take kindly to that…but still…review!…please? I need one L