Once upon a time, there was a gay moth named Daria. One day he decided to make a soft landing inside Rachel's mouth when she yawned. Rachel then proceded to spit him out and stomp him into the ground until his life escence was increasingly liquidated.
But something happened. A swift slender Sarah came out of nowhere and rescued him by giving him mouth to moth. Ho-Ho-Hoooo-Hooo! Daria the moth was suddenly super attracted to Sarah even though he was gay. It was then that Daria realized he was actually going through an identity crisis and that he was actually a she and was in fact a lesbian moth.
Sarah was flattereed but was asexual...
"I only reproduce by budding", said Sarah as she leaned keenly against a tree. Daria was enraged that her attempts to seduce Sarah failed and cut off her own wing in anger. He immediately regretted the decision, as he could not fly away angrily. Instead, he hobbled into a rose petal that had fallen from a rose bush. He would never expected what he found there...
Lying in the rose petal was a caterpillar smoking from a hooka. Excited, Daria went over and tried to seduce the caterpillar, but the caterpillar died right after Daria spoke his first word, leaving Daria depressed and then he pooped himself. He was then approached by a wild-haired boy with a scar on his face who said, "You smell like broccoli and poop." Daria cried. Daria cried so hard that he/she chocked and momentarily died. He would only be brought back to life through love's sweet caress.
Along came Snape. Snape saw Daria ans was suddenly attracted to him. He caressed him lovingly. Daria was instantly and awakened and upon seeing Snape, had the sudden urge to rape him. It was consensual, though, as both parties enjoyed it. Nine months later, Daria was with child. His name was Ballyhoo Snape and he would live on to eventually become Norman.
But then Daria was kidnapped. Norman had to save his mother/father before he/she was gang-banged non consensually. Norman, with magics, resurrected Daria, turning him into a beautiful butter-moth. Daria then went back to his love, Snape, and had celebration intercourse, producing another baby. This baby died in the arms of Snape as he wept insanely. Snape was never the same again. Afther this happened, he was mean to all of the little witches and wizards at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
But then Daria became a student at Hogwarts and to try and calm Snape down they made love on Snape's potions desk and then Snape was much nicer to his students. Until he saw Daria and...DRACO! SEXING! "OH SHT! WTF r u doing stupid PERP?!" exclaimed Snape sexily.
"I'm going through passionate baby-making with Draco!" Daria said, "You've maid me sexually frustrated!" Daria yelled, laying keenly on the floor.
Then approached Vampire. His blood red eyes dripped blood red tears, Cuz he also liked me.
Stop flamin haterz.
Then Volsemort came and gave Daria a gun and breathed breathily, "Shoot me in the eye".
Daria wasn't that heartless though, so instead he pushed Voldemort down and raped him. Then along came Hargrid. He wanted in on the action. He lept on top of them yelling, "Wipe it all off with an old pair o' boots!" And then Hagrid procedded to wipe it all off with and old pair o' boots.
But then Dumbledore arrived, with very wise words.
He yelled quietly, "I only cuss because I have a headache."
Dumbledore's quiet mumbling reminded Daria too much of her past so she drop kicked Dumbledore then had a fivesome with Snape, Draco, Hagrid, and on old pair o' boots.
Five more babies were immediately produced.
They were the Jackson 5. But more importantly, Daria was starting to realize something strange happening to Snape. He was always talking about this one girl named "Lily". He thought to himself, 'Could Snape be... straight?!'
Daria decided to confront Snape about this Lily person and when he confessed that he was actually in love with Lily; Daria raped Snape. Five more babies were produced.
Daria hated them. She killed them and made them into meat pies.
Snape was so upset that his non-consensual babies were killed that he raped Daria.
Eight more babies were produced.
She killed those, too. But then Snape tried one of the meat pies and screamed, "Son of a banshee, that's delicious!"
Daria was very excited about the meat pies so in order to make more she started a baby mill.
56 babies were produced. They did a test run on 20 individuals, they not knowing they were eating baby meat pies. By this time Daria's uterus was falling out of her. But she didn't care. However, Snape was disgusted by her deformity.
In the middle of the night, Snape cute Daria's uterus out and replaced it with a baked potato.
So when Daria wanted to make more babies, Snape refused, in fear that Daria might find out about the whole uterus situation. Uh-oh!
So Snape went to Hogsmeade and bought 50 boxes of little plastic babies and placed them at the base of the bed to trick Daria into thinking she had birthed them in her sleep.
When Daria woke, she was rejoicing at the sight of the babies, but as she tried to pick one up, she realized it was actually just plastic. She fell into a fit of rage and as a way to calm herself she bought 12 dildos from the infomercial channel shop .
She soon realized that his uterus was a baked potato. So he automatically assumed Snape was cheating.
He divorcced Snape. Snape went off on his own to pursue his childhood lover, Lily Evans. He told her about his erotic adventures with Daria. Lily replied, "Wow! I wish I was Daria!" So Snape decided to start a meat pie business with Lily as well.
Daria was so depressed and jealous that he implanted five uteri inside herself through her elbow in hopes that Snape would once again love him.
Ten years went by and Snape never returned. But then Daria had a great idea, he would pose as an eleven year old child and enter Hogwarts as a student, in hopes to find Snape. To assure that Snape wouldn't recognize her, he grew a disgustingly massive beard and grew five feet taller and changed his name to Hagrid. Daria entered Hogwarts, with his new disguise, and the first thing he saw was Snape and Lily sexing in the Great Hall. Overcome with anger, Daria waited till Lily went to her room and fell asleep before he raped her for five straight hours until she finally died.
But even so, a baby was produced, her name was Evard Cutten. Since Evard was birthed out of a dead women's womb, Evard wasn't a normal baby. Many times Daria/Hagrid tried to kill the nasty thing, but she never died. One day a little boy named Ron Weasley saw the baby in the sunlight and she was glowing brightly. Ron was permanently blinded for the rest of his life.
As Ron stumbled away blindly, Evard laughed evily then rolled away to find Daria. When he/she/it finally found Daria, Daria became enraged by the stupid pile of poop. Overcome, Daria took out a meat mallet and proceeded to pulverize Edvard into the floor. As Daria was finishing the deed, Norman walked up and asked, "What is that disgusting mush?" "Your sibling", Daria replied nonchalantly.
Daria/Hagrid countinued on his quest to woo Snape back. But, as Hagrid, he was not allowed into the Hogwarts Castle, so he had to think of a way to lure Snape to his hut.
Hagrid sent Snape a letter via owl that read, "Come to the hut for some tea and televised Quidditch. -Love Hagrid". Snape loved both tea AND Quidditch, so he apparated over to the little hut.
As Snape appeared in the hut Daria offered him a drugged drink. As soon as the liquid touched his lips, Snape was knocked out and Daria proceded to rape him because Daria was positive his new sexy body would woo Snape back easily.
120 babies were produced.
And Snape died from the intense love making due to Daria's new body. But Snape wasn't dead like Veronika said. He was now an immortal dementor. He snuck into Daria's house one night and sucked out the souls of all 120 babies.
Daria awoke halfway through the sucking of the souls and laughed gleefully as all of her babies died. At this point in time, Daria was depressed, so he immediately went to the astronomy tower despite his not being allowed in the castle and pushed Dumbledore off of it. Snape, being the sentimental fellow he is, weeped for poor Dumbledore and with the help of a rocketship, he sent him off to mars where he would spend eternity in Pigfarts with Rumbleroar.
Daria, having used up all her pentup anger, realized she had done wrong and attempted to apoligize to Snape. Snape though, was still very angry and wanted to take his frustrations out on Daria.
Snape used Avada Kadavra on Daria's left foot, leaving her to limp for the rest of his life.
Daria decided to changer her name to Mad-Eye Moody so her limp wouldn't seem ironic.
Snape instantly fell back in love with her and deicded to chain him up and have kinky BDSM sex with him for 3 straight days.
This resulted in one baby.
Although the temptation was unrelenting. Snape deicded he would not suck the soul of this baby. He named the boy Donald.
Daria then fell in love with Donald. Donald instantly became best friends with Daria's other son Norman. And fell in love with Daria.
Snape was jealous. Not of Donald, of Daria. Snape had fallen in love with Donald despite his feelings for Daria.
Norman knew all of this and to protect Donald from Daria and Snape's raping habit, he deported Donald to Oklahoma. There, Donald and Norman met their wife – Aaron. They just loved to go flyfishing together. They would also take strolls along the streets of Knoxville, observing the many beautiful and romantic Victorian mansions.
But then Daria became jealous of Norman and wanted Donald to herself. To try and win Donald over, Daira decided to kill Norman. Snape though, raped Daria to keep him busy, and as Snape was raping Daira, he threw a box of Altoids to Nevada and Norman followed it, dragging Donald with him.
This was the beginning of the end. Norman literally fought to the death for Donald. And after he was dead, Daria and Snape celebrated by gang-banging Donald.
Donald didn't really care, though. He simply made the classic Donald expression and began telling them of various presidential scandals.
Daria and Snape decided they were tired of hearing the stories and gang-banging Donald so they sold him to a prostituion house where he repeatedly had sex in a Frito Lay truck, only to be paid in Dorito and Cheetos. Which he hated. He killed everyone in his path, and Daria and Snape were forced to take refuge in a modern day igloos, aka mansion made of ice, in Antarctica.
Donald decided to change his name to Jeepers Creepers and decided to start eating his victims.
While Donald ate people, Daria and Snape had sex in their mansion to keep warm.
The heat they put off from this sex melted the mansion.
62 babies were produced.
Jeepers "Donald" Creepers found the babies and ate them, all the while thinking 'I should be president'.
So Donald decided to run for president while Daria and Snape had more wild sex in the middle of Antartica.
Daria's other foot got frostbitten and fell off. So now he had to go around on stilts with skates tied to the bottom so she could traverse the frozen waters.
Snape then shimmied up Daria's stilts and raped him upside down.
Daria enjoyed this very much. So muchthat her baked potato uterus completely exploded into a mashed potato mess. Daria was immediately rushed to the hospital.
Daria died instantly, however, like Snape, she wasn't actually dead. So are the ways of wizards.
In an attempt to replace Daria's vegtable uterus with something sturdier the doctor's implanted a defective toaster inside her.
This greatly improved her reproductive system, so she and Snape had celbratory sex.
2 babies were produced. Their names were Hemlock Sasspants and Lightyear Invasion. Hemlock and Lightyear hated each other. One day Hemlock was sacrificing a beautiful lamb to God, while all Lightyear brought was Daria's destroyed uterus. Lightyear murdered Hemlock and chose the Palentine Hill to begin the country he would call "Rome".
But then Hemlock came back from the dead and inisiated a sword fight with Lightyear.
Lightyear was a pacifist even though he just murdered his brother, much to mature to indulge in silly fighting with Hemlock, so he just walked away. Hemlock became furious and began murdering Jews. Meanwhile, Daria and Snape continued with week-long celebratory sex.
12 million more babies were produced. Lightyear observered Hemlock attempting to destroy the world. Hemlock suceded, so they were forced to take refuge on the sun. There, they met Ra, the sun god. He killed them with fiery fire.
They died.
The End.