Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans.
Everytime it gets harder and harder to control. The more anger she feels the more power she receives but she can't express it. The anger just bubbles and stews in her until one day it overflows. On those days she hopes she'll be able to rein it in before something is destroyed.
Some days it's all she can take not to let her rage take control, to spout two extra eyes, to claw, to let the darkness seep out, to become destructive to anything and everything in her path. Except it's getting more difficult these days. She doesn't know what the cataylst was but she is sure it has to do with all the tension in the house. She is an empath meaning she is like a magnet for others emotions and feeling everyone elses doesn't help her control her own. Starfire has this burning blush feeling whenever Robin is around to which Beast Boy usually reacts with a tinge of green jealousy while Cyborg feels annoyance when he has to deal with Beast Boy displacing his emotions. Robin sometimes is the only one who usually feels like a cold burst of air dulling the sting of everyone else. However, to hang out Robin all the time would be suspicious to all the teammates involved and would only cause more harm than good.
Mediation only takes the edge off. Some days she is so riled up underneath her indifferent mask that she is itching for a criminal to come along to fight. How else is she supposed to expel her rage in a controlled way? It's not as if she can go away blowing things up all the time. Fighting is the only way for her to channel the anger and use it in a constructive way without letting it control her.
One day it is just too much though. There has been a lull in crime making everyone wait for the other shoe to drop. There is a lot of Starfire's blushing, gross food being served, Beast Boy pranks, Robin's loud music, and Cyborg yelling "BOOYAH" everytime he beats Beast Boy which is enough to make her retreat to her room. But then she gets a rant about not spending time with everyone and has to do her daily sitting on the couch with a book until she is allowed to leave. It is on one of these days that it happens for the first time. Raven has been feeling overwhelmed with everyone's rising emotions, battling cabin fear, and strange dreams of fire so when Beast Boy trades her tea with some new tofu tea she just about loses it. Her eyes are a shade of dim ruby red and her black tenacles are starting to creep out from under her cloak starting intimidatingly at the green superhero. She is about to inflict a world of pain onto the changeling when all of a sudden he tries to escape by flying. His route to safety is, however, blocked by a black claw and he has no choice but to knock over a glass from the highest self which lands on Raven. The glass shatters after hitting the counter and one piece sticks Raven in the arm. With a loud gasp everyone sees the red that was once in her eyes disassipate and instead flow out of her wound. She can't react just yet though. Her anger is lessing, the burning of her skin is cooling, and now all she can do is watch as the blood pools around her. But then green gloved hands are pulling out the shard of glass and she watches as more blood starts to pour out of her skin, somehow she thinks it looks like the color of anger. After her ephipany Raven decides to do a bit of research.
After thousands of books she finally finds one of cutting. It is interesting to say the least seeing how others use it to either feel something at all or to dull the emotional pain they feel. At first Raven finds this completely ridiculous.
A busy months goes by until the final crushing storm of villians hit. They are so strapped for time they've taken to just napping in the common area before rushing off to their new crime scene. Raven hasn't mediated for over a week but she doesn't feel that badly. Little did she know of course. A fire burns that night tearing a bunch of buildings down. Raven doesn't know why but everytime she flies into the offices to save another civilian she swears she can hear a rumbling laugh. She hears that laugh in her dreams of fire and in the fire she sees her father's face. His giant red hands are reaching for her wanting to crush her into a firery embrace, wanting her allegiance, wanting her to destroy the Earth. She jolts awake to the white mask of her leader and wants to vomit. He brushes his hand over the hair sticking to her sweaty face and feels the wind blow over her. She closes her eyes breifly at his touch and when she opens Starfire is looking at Raven like she is a bad Tamerian word.
It's been five days since the fire. Five days of nightmares of Trigon. She can feel rage cackling and trying to find ways to escape during her mediation haitus. Escaping to the roof doesn't work as Robin is chatting with Starfire and she really, really doesn't want to stand in the way of that so she retreats to the training room where Cyborg is lifting a car but she just wants to be alone. Hoping no one is in the kitchen Raven starts to boil her tea only to realize the fire underneath it. She can feel herself slipping into a trance but can't stop it. What she sees is rubble, red hair flashing, blood everywhere. The teapot whistles and she drinks her tea on edge.
rolls into town trying to steal the city's new lighting epquipment. The Titans are mid way into the fight when he decides to show them his new toy. A light beam laser that burns so harshly. Dr. Light's beam maims a few loose strings of clothing until he manages to hit Robin straight in the chest, knocking him out of the air and into a telephone poll. Raven can feel all her gates being knocked down, just as Robin was, letting her rage out. She can feel herself bursting with anger as her eyes glow and tenatcles start to snatch at the villian. He tries to burn her but after seeing her cloak start to open up to drag him in he tries to run. That doesn't work as Raven's black claws snatch him up and start flinging him around like a rag doll. He's bleeding and she's cackling and she realizes she can't stop this. She can't control the rage and she is going to kill him. A part of her, the part in control, laughs manically and feelings no remorse, just pleasure. The team is calling out to her but all she can see is the way Robin landed. In fact it isn't until his hand lands on her shoulder that she can form a cohernt though. Quickly snatching his sharp batarang she cuts her wrist deeply, drawing blood. As the blood is leaving her body she knows the anger is too. And when she comes down from the high she sees four faces of horror.
After that they keep a look out for her mediations. They watch as her cut heals itself quickly and it quickly fades out of their mind. Until one day Starfire is painting Raven's nails and sees the healing of slashes against Raven's skin. There are questions but Starfire is easy to placate. Robin is not. She can feel his eyes on her skin when she walks by and can feel the jib of his bond to her when she looks at a knife for a prolonged period. She knows he'll let her go because he doesn't have any evidence of her cutting.
She becomes more and more relaxed everytime. A cut after Beast Boy's pranks, a slice after Starfire's hand finds Robin's arm, and a few to dull the pain of her continuous nightmares. She wakes up screaming and shaking one night which isn't usual anymore as her birthday is approaching. Finding her ritual blade she is just making the first cut when Robin opens her door. He looks confused at first but after seeing the blood spilling down the blade he reacts. He doesn't yell or glare he just wraps her wrist and sits holding her gauze over her. When the bleeding is stopped he watches her face before unveiling his wrist marred by long lines and ticks made by a razor. She can't help but place her hands over it running her fingers along the scars.
"I know how hard it is to control your rage, Raven. I know you watched me struggle when Slade came. You probably think I don't know but I remember when your mind would brush over mine to check if I was okay. I remember you sending me waves of ice to bring me down. I remember having the strength to stop because I didn't need a razor anymore because I had you. Let me be your strength, Raven. Let me help you when you can't fight the power anymore, let me hold you when he screams, let me."
From then on she mediated on the roof to feel the cool ocean's breeze. Her problems weren't by any means over as Trigon and Slade could reappear at anytime but she found a different solution. She found her the soothing wind that would make her hair dance, the wind that would make her tilt her head up and feel powerful, the wind that would keep her safe, the wind that would never stop blowing.