Let me just make this completely, utterly and brutally clear, now…
I hate James Potter!
I hate the air he breathes, I hate the ground he walks on, and most of all I hate that stupid cocky grin that he wears every time he asks me out. And I'll give you one guess to what my answer is every single time…NO! You'd think that he'd get it through that thick skull of his, but I guess that he'll never learn. Or maybe he just likes getting turned down…probably a nice refreshing change, from all of the girls that throw themselves shamelessly at him.
"Jesus, Lily! Why do you hate him so much?" my best friend, Amy, demands whilst in Herbology one morning. "What has he done to you that's so awful?"
"Amy, as long as he lives and breathes I will loathe him for all eternity. Now pass me that trowel before this plant-which-I-have-currently-forgotten-the-name-to bites my hands off. Although Madam Pomfrey is very, very good, I doubt she can re-grow all of my bones and flesh from the wrist up."
She hands me the small spade, and I whack the plant on it's long ugly yellow roots sharply with the edge of the blade. It squeals then spits out several - fist sized - pods before shrivelling up and lying defenceless against our work station. I smile and blow a long strand of my red hair out of my eyes.
"But what I really can't understand is why you keep turning him down! I mean he's so popular, and tall, and…"
I ignore her for a while whilst she throws out some random adjectives. I put a clear glass pot in front of me and slice open the pods, and an ugly thick viscous green slime slithers reluctantly out and into the bowl. I sigh in relief when I'm done with this disgusting task. Although we're supposed to be doing it together, Amy's mind is still elsewhere.
"…and funny, and sweet, and…"
OK, I'll give her a few more seconds to get all of that out of her system.
The only thing in my mind about James Potter - apart from the hating-him-until-I-die part - is how satisfying it would be to poor this sticky green glop all over his black hair. Who knows, it might perform a miracle and deflate his big head a little bit, you never know. We can always hope.
"…and friendly, and cute, and not to mention a fantastic kisser! And he's good at Quidditch…"
"What? Amy, did you just say that James Potter is a fantastic kisser?" I exclaim, my eyes bulging from my head.
She turns a startling shade of scarlet then hides her face behind a curtain of shoulder-length blonde curls.
"Amy! Have you kissed James Potter?"
She gives me a sideways glance through her hair, her electric blue eyes pleading. I can't believe it! My best friend has kissed him, and she didn't tell me about it!
"Oh my God! Why would you do that? What would ever poses you to do that?"
"Well…just because you don't like him…" she mumbled quietly.
"And you do?" I practically scream, stabbing our next nameless plants roots with so much force that the table quivers. Amy scuttles of to get the next one, ready for me to kill it, rather than her.
"Excuse me, Miss Evans. If you don't keep your voice down, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to deduct points from Gryffindor," Professor Sprout, announces cheerily, bouncing around examining how everyone is getting along.
I snarl and mutter under my breath about injustice, and focus on forcing the green stuff to fall out of the next pod.
After a while of silence, and of Amy fetching the plants while I crucify them, Professor Sprout announces that we need to bring our glop (although that's not the name she used) to her desk, and it's the end of the lesson. So, I grudgingly pick up the overflowing bowl and wander down towards the front of the greenhouse. Professor Sprout smiles at me when she sees my work. Next to me, a 7th year Slitherin shoots me a glare of complete and utter hatred. I just smile sweetly back at her, and her - almost - empty bowl.
I hang up my gardening robe and goggles, pick up my bag and storm off in direction of the Transfiguration classrooms. Amy has Divination next, so I know she's not following me, but I still practically run all the way there, to stop anyone catching up with me.
It works, and I'm the first in the classroom. McGonagall looks up from her work to give me one of her stares before looking back down again. Sheesh, I'm the head girl for Christ sakes! I'm hardly going to be up to no good, am I?
As usual, McGonagall sets absolutely mountains of homework, then sends us on our way to lunch. I stuff all of my work into my bag and grumpily make my way into the Great Hall.
When I see my ex-boyfriend, Adam, sat at the Ravenclaw table with his new girlfriend, I sigh angrily and storm over to where Jack - my other best friend - is sitting, waiting for me. I practically make the table shake when I throw down my bag.
"Good morning?" he asks, raising his eyebrows at me.
"No," I say bluntly, messily slopping some lasagne onto my plate and I pick it apart with my fork.
"Want to talk about it?" he asks again.
"Later," I snarl as the King of Jerks, himself, walks through the door and swaggers towards me with his evil henchmen at his heels. Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin. OK, to be fair I have nothing against Remus, he's a nice, polite, intelligent guy, so I can't help but wonder why he's involved with goons like James and Sirius. And Peter, well he's just the kind of boy ruled by his huge love for food. But I nearly fall out of my seat when I see who's walking with them, smiling.
Amy's holding Sirius's hand and he's making her giggle like a…well a, giggling idiot. TRAITOR!
"Hey, Evans!" the King Jerk, grins at me.
"Potter," I say in acknowledgement. He's lucky he got that, and not a jinx aimed at his huge head.
"Hi, Lily. Do you mind if I sit with Sirius today?" Amy asks, still laughing at Sirius.
"No, fine," I snap, turning back to dissect my food, I can sense that Jack is slowly understanding my bad mood.
"Aww, Evans. Don't be grumpy," King Jerk, patronises.
"I'm not grumpy," I scowl.
"Really?" he challenges, his grin widening so that it almost fills up the whole of his face.
"Do you want me to hex you so badly that you'll be in the hospital wing from now until Christmas?" I ask, in a sugary sweet voice.
"Ohhhh! Come on Prongs, I think Madam Pomfrey has seen quite enough of us this term anyway. We don't want to upset, Evans. She'll report us to Dumbledore! Won't you, Head Girl?" Sirius jokes, slapping King Jerk on the back.
"Just because I take my duties seriously. You know, Potter, you should think about doing the same thing." I retort. "Or, just maybe - by accident of course - I might somehow, slip up, and tell McGonagall about that stash of Firewhiskey that you Marauders keep hidden under the sofa in the common room," I say slyly, smiling innocently.
King Jerk's eyes widen in confusion, Remus sighs, Peter's too busy stuffing his face to hear what I've just said, but Sirius stares at me in suspicion.
"How do you know about that?" he demands, moving closer so that nobody can hear our conversation that's not supposed to.
"I have my ways. And I'm sure that McGonagall would be very intrigued to hear about them."
"You wouldn't dare!" he whispers threateningly in my ear.
"Try me," I breathe back, flashing him a warning grin.
"Alright, Padfoot, she's got us beat. Fair play, Evans," King Jerk smiles, I glare in reply. He then turns, and walks down the table to find a place to sit.
"See you, Lily!" Amy calls happily, whilst Sirius tows her alongside him.
I turn back to the table, and snatch the glass of pumpkin juice, that Jack's holding out for me, out of his hands. I down the whole thing in one go.
"Lil…"
"Don't…say…a…word," I say, through clenched teeth.
"OK!" he mutters, holding up his hands in surrender. "Bear in mind that it's them you're angry with, not me."
I sigh to calm myself down, "yeah, I know. Sorry, Jack," I apologise, "I'm just stressed at the moment."
"I guess that it doesn't help that the Head Boy prefers to cause trouble rather than prevent it," he smiles understandingly.
"No. Circumstances aren't ideal," I agree, shovelling a forkful of pasta in my mouth all at once.
"Oh, very delicate and ladylike," he comments.
"Leave me alone, I'm hungry," I say after swallowing.
"Alright! But what's happened with Amy? Since when has she had a thing for, Black?"
"I don't know!" I snap, finishing off my lasagne and throwing down the cutlery, it crashes against the plate, and it smashes.
"Er…"
"I've got it," I interrupt, sighing, pulling out my wand, "Reparo!" The pieces all fly together and mend themselves.
"Lily, what happened between you this morning? You were angry when you came in, before you even saw them together."
I groan and tell him about our conversation in the Greenhouse. And much to my annoyance and disbelief, he's not surprised.
"Well, you know how she is - no offence to her or anything - but it's no surprise that she's kissed Potter. By this time, I bet she's been through most of the boys in our year. And he's a ladies man, so you can't really be that shocked. It probably didn't mean anything. Her with Black is harder to understand…"
"How? Potter is much worse than Black in that field, anyway. Actually, they're both awful," I quickly correct, to make myself very clear.
"Well, in any case, Black doesn't date. He uses, then leaves before things get serious. And that's why it surprises me that Amy wants to put herself through that. Though in fairness, I've never seen him, with any girls. He usually works in secret, even though it's never a massive secret, as to what he's up to - Potter makes sure of that. And they were defiantly holding hands."
"Yeah, and your point is? You're not actually saying that Black might want to solidify things with Amy? He doesn't know commitment to only one girl at a time! She's going to get hurt. Then I'll have to kill him," I tell him.
But James Potter is the guy to date at Hogwarts! Head boy, lead Marauder, and captain of the Quidditch team! It's almost like a trophy, to say that he's been involved with you! Of course, I wouldn't know how it worked from a girls prospective, but in my opinion, a girl would have to be completely insane not to agree to go out with him!"
I clear my throat and give him my death stare. It takes him a couple of seconds to realise what he's said.
"Oh, er… I'd better go, if I'm late to transfiguration McGonagall will kill me…"
"No! Jack, you tell me what you meant by that!"
"Got to dash, Lil! I'll see you in potions."
"JACK!" but I'm too late.
He's already fled the Great Hall to get to class, about ten minutes early.
How dare he say that about me! Is it just me who hates James Potter and his goons, now? Am I the only member left of an endangered James Potter hating species? Life is so cruel.
Right, it's decided. If Black hurts Amy - no matter how stupid she's been - I will tie him up and levitate him over the Lake, and wait for the merpeople to come and drag him down for their pet Grindylow's to play with. That should make him rethink messing with my friends.
And the next time Potter asks me out, I'm going to blast his brain out of his nose. No prat-faced-jerk beats Lily Evans. Not even one like Potter. And who knows, I might even get the chance to shrink his abnormally large head down to size.
Who says that the Head Girl can't get her own form of revenge? Potter and his friends may have experience in the buckets, but I have something far, far better than thousands of detentions and a stupid nonsensical nickname…