...because the moment we realize that it's too late

is also the moment we realize how much we have been saying the things we don't mean,

and meaning the things we don't say.

(

Until

we

are

whole

again

)

will you still love me in the morning?

XIII.

Uchiha Sasuke had once been the man with no regrets. Why would he have any? He was the prodigy: the best in his year. He was the sole survivor of the prestigious Uchiha Clan, and though he died every time he relived the day he found all of them dead, he still regretted nothing. Why would he? He wasn't going to regret the death of his clan - he was going to make the person who made it happen regret it.

His own brother.

His own flesh and blood.

The person he looked up to the most.

Uchiha Sasuke never regretted looking up to his older brother, either. Because, he told himself, he learned to never trust anyone ever again.

Oh, but he failed to keep that promise, yes. Because it was not long thereafter when he realized that he was growing attached to the same people he swore he would forever be indifferent towards - his team, Team Seven. They had become important to him and he did all he could to protect them. He had to.

"Sasuke, teme! What took you so long?!"

Because...

"Sasuke-kun."

...they were his family now.

"Yo, Sasuke."

And he wasn't going to let the same thing happen to them.

He was going to protect them.

Hundreds - hundreds of Naruto everywhere -

He was the strongest among his genin teammates.

"I'm going to be the Hokage, dattebayo!"

He was the only one who could.

The rasengan -

But...

The sound of a thousand chirping birds -

...was he really?

They were getting stronger.

(They don't need you anymore.)

He had to get stronger.

(What about your revenge?)

He had to fulfill his mission.

(Are you sure you wouldn't regret this?)

"I love you with all my heart, Sasuke-kun!"

He had to leave.

Sasuke was furious.

No. He was beyond furious. He was livid.

He had walked out of the room the moment he heard Sakura ask him what his name was.

How could she forget?! She would never forget him - not him. Never him.

"Sasuke-kun!"

He banged the door to the Hokage's office open, seething. "What happened to her?"

A pale yellow eyebrow rose at him as the lady clad in green crossed her arms at her chest. "Uchiha! Have you no respect?"

"What. Happened. To. Her," he demanded, ignoring the woman's remark.

"I warned you that you weren't supposed to enter that room yet." Tsunade glared at the boy - no, he was a man now - as he glared back. They continued on like this, fighting for dominance, until Tsunade finally softened her gaze and looked away.

"A returning team of ninja came across her unconscious body along the borders of Konoha," Tsunade said, her voice thick with melancholy. "She was bruised and wounded, but other than that she had been fine. At least, we thought she was until..."

The godaime sucked in a deep breath, looking back at the Uchiha, whom she saw was still looking at her with intent eyes.

"...until she opened her eyes."

Sasuke grinded his teeth together. No, he told himself. He was not going to throw a fit and get angry. Getting angry would not do anything now, except complicate things. Getting angry would not turn back time, and would most certainly not bring Sakura's memories back.

"I love you with all my heart, Sasuke-kun!"

"But," Tsunade continued, meeting Sasuke's onyx orbs, "if I was to make a decision like that again - to send someone who had little chance of succeeding, other than someone who had no chance at all - I would still choose the former." The godaime's amber eyes fell gradually, as she continued with remorse. "And though I regret what happened to Sakura, I don't regret that I chose her for that mission."

She pressed her lips into a thin line, and Sasuke mildly realized that the Hokage was not talking to him anymore, but convincing herself for the most part. "It doesn't matter if she remembers anything about what has happened - or anything else, for that matter - as long as she's alive. Lost memories can be found or be replaced with new ones, but a lost life can never be brought back again."

XIV.

Sasuke was seven when he first met her. She was crying in the middle of a playground, all by herself, for some reason he didn't know. But he approached her, nonetheless, because he never did like seeing other people cry. And so with quiet steps, he walked in front of her, holding out a white handkerchief - his favorite one, the one his mother made for him - at the crying girl with short pastel pink hair.

Realizing the presence in front of her, the girl's shoulder stopped shaking and she looked up at him slowly. She was beautiful, he thought. At first, he deemed her pink hair rather odd, but the moment his onyx eyes caught sight of her emerald ones, he immediately asked himself what could make someone as enticing as her cry?

And so, young Uchiha Sasuke frowned.

"Why are you crying?" he asked.

Sasuke saw the girl's eyes water with tears again and he immediately felt himself panicking. "H-hey -"

The girl was rubbing her eyes now. "Th-they said my forehead was a-abnormal," she said, and he unconsciously took a glance at her forehead. It was wide, yes, but he thought that the size of her forehead actually fitted the rest of her features. "They were m-mean t-to me."

"Who are they?" he found himself asking. Somehow, he felt an odd urge to defend this crying little girl from whoever the people making her cry were.

"I... I don't know..." the girl admitted, sniffing and shaking her head.

"Do they know you?" Sasuke pressed.

"I... No..."

Then why are you so affected by what they think? "Hn." Sasuke offered his handkerchief again, feeling his arm going numb. Gladly, this time the girl took it.

"Thank you," the girl said softly.

The pink-haired girl continued crying for some time, and Sasuke watched her, not really knowing what to say. After a while, she spoke again, "They hate m-me," she hiccuped.

"No, they don't," Sasuke immediately answered.

The girl looked at him dubiously. "H-how do you know?" she asked.

"Because they don't know you," Sasuke answered, shrugging and looking away. He didn't really like looking at her crying like this - he didn't like looking at anyone crying in general. "Nii-chan says you can never really hate anyone unless you know them."

Before Sasuke could elaborate further, he started hearing his mother's voice in the distance.

"Sasuke! Where are you?"

"I have to go," Sasuke said, looking at the pink-haired girl one last time.

After a while, he heard the girl call back to him. "Y-your handkerchief!"

Sasuke stopped walking, remembering that his favorite handkerchief was still with the pink-haired girl. He thought about whether he would take it from her, but after a while, he decided against it. She needed it now more than he needed it. "Keep it," he said as he started walking again.

When he arrived home that day, he realized that he never really did ask what her name was.

Sasuke hardly never did anything but train anymore. If he was exhausted, he slept better - well not exactly better because he still woke up in cold sweat thinking about her green, green eyes and her sweet, sincere smile, but he kept still for most of however long his sleep was.

He couldn't bring himself to visit Sakura again.

Just remembering her blank eyes and innocent expression looking at him, and her lips moving, asking him who he was, made his heart clench.

Subconsciously, he found himself remembering the events from the night she left for her mission.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he had asked her, staring at her green eyes. There was an emotion in those pools of green that he couldn't quite put - sadness? Pity?

But why would she pity him? he found himself asking.

It was after hours of thinking that he realized the answer - she pitied him for he was a man who could not love.

But couldn't he, really?

He could! He was in love with -

Sasuke broke away from his thoughts, clenching his teeth together.

No.

He wasn't.

He wasn't in love.

Not with her.

He was filled with guilt, yes, for they he was probably the reason why she took the mission in the first place.

In addition to that, he also felt regret - an emotion that was so foreign to him because he had once prided himself for being a man who didn't feel regret; who didn't have regrets.

But, oh, he did.

"I didn't think you cared," her voice echoed in his ears.

He did.

He cared.

So much.

(Doesn't that make you love her, though?)

He clenched his fists.

(You care so much for her.)

Stop it! Stop -

(You love her.)

I SAID STOP!

(You are lying to yourself, saying you don't.)

Sasuke sat up from his sweat-stained sheets, breathing heavily.

(You are a liar, Uchiha Sasuke.)

He brought his palms to his head and pressed them against each ear.

(You are a liar.)

"Stop it," he hissed under his breath. "Stop it! Get out of my head!"

(Liar...)

And, with reasons still unclear to him, he found himself standing up and walking towards the direction of the hospital.

(You liar...)

XV.

After the dreaded night of the Uchiha Massacre, Sasuke told himself that he wouldn't cry.

He refused to cry - crying was a form of weakness and he refused to be weak.

He had to grow stronger - he had to be stronger. It was the only way he could avenge the lives of everyone who had died in the hands of his own brother.

However, as he walked home from training that day, he realized that he had taken a route he so blatantly avoided.

He was standing in the middle of an empty playground. The sun was setting somewhere in the horizon, and the sky was painted orange and violet and black.

And, despite his promise to himself, he felt a tear roll down his right cheek, remembering why this place was so important to him.

This was where Mikoto would take Itachi and himself on their way home from the market - both of them would insist on coming along, only to get bored and end up pestering their mother to hurry up and finish. Mikoto would laugh kindly at the both of them. She would buy them ice cream and take them to the playground to play.

Young Sasuke didn't bother to wipe his tear from his face. He figured he deserved to cry - even just this once.

He closed his eyes and held unto the memory, locking it inside a box in his mind like it was his most treasured possession.

And perhaps it was.

The streets in Konoha were eerily quiet, but Sasuke had expected this. It was probably two o'clock in the morning and he doubted anyone - except the guards by the Konoha gates, perhaps - would be awake.

Sasuke took his time walking towards the hospital. He had not bothered to bring a jacket, or anything to keep him warm, with him. He took the feeling of cold around him as a punishment for all the bad things he had done.

Once he'd arrived by the hospital, he noticed that the lights in the rooms were turned off. The lobby was lit, and he saw a woman in her mid forties sitting by the reception desk, staring blankly at the computer screen in front of her.

Sasuke pressed his lips together. Visiting hours were over and he doubted he could go waltzing around the lobby - the receptionist would usher him out, no matter what his reason was.

Sakura's room was on the fifth floor, he remembered. Sasuke looked up and tried to recall where exactly her room was. He closed his eyes in concentration - inside the room a little to her left, Sakura's dormant chakra flickered.

Gathering chakra to his feet, he walked horizontally on the walls until he arrived by her window. He crouched down and opened it silently before propping himself by her window.

Sakura was sleeping restlessly, her fingers twitching every now and then and her face contorting into an anguished expression. Sasuke frowned. He could only imagine what she was dreaming about.

As quietly as he could, he landed beside her bed and studied her face closer. She was sweating, he noticed, and Sasuke fought the sudden urge to tuck a strand of her wet hair behind her ear.

In her sleep, Sakura whimpered softly.

Sasuke froze. What could she be dreaming about that was so terrible?

Before he could think about whether it was a good idea or not, Sasuke brought his hands to her shoulders and gently shook her awake.

"Sakura, wake up," he hissed in alarm when she still wouldn't wake up.

He shook her harder. "Sakura."

Sakura opened her eyes abruptly and Sasuke saw a look of terror crossing her features. He opened his mouth to ask her if she was okay when a set of hands found its way around his throat.

It was a few seconds later that he realized who it was strangling him.

Sakura's green eyes were still staring straight at him.

...The hands were hers.

(

will

you

still

love

me?

)

tbc.