This is my first attempt at ever writting anything...

I have written the first 6 Chapters then planned on taking a small break...

I have since wrote 3 more....

May have to take another break again as I'm going to be taking a big state exam in the next month or two...

I will post Chapter 2 after a review or 2

Hope you find this enjoyable...

Chapter 1

Finally Breathe

BPOV

Today was the first day of the rest of my life. It's my eighteenth birthday and I can finally breathe. I was going to get away from Phoenix and hopefully find a way to start my life over. My mom and my dad Charlie divorced when I was eleven. They never really had a great relationship and I knew that day would come but I didn't know it would change my life so much.

I live with my mom Renee and her boyfriend Phil. He's a minor league baseball player. Renee and Phil have been together ever since the divorce. I knew she was afraid to be alone and needed someone besides me to take care of her, so I didn't mind him so much. We moved around a lot in the last few years Florida, New York and even Chicago. Phil was always playing on a different team. Phoenix has been my home for just about two years. Besides Forks, this is the longest I've lived in one place.

Anytime I settled in and made new friends, it was time to move again. I guess you could say I have some sort of social anxiety now. I'm afraid to make any new friends so I keep to myself a lot.

Now I'm moving again, to live with my dad. I'm going to spend the summer with him. I don't know what I want to do with my life or if college is even an option. All I know is that I want to get away from here.

The last year was almost unbearable. Leaving is the only thing I could think of doing. I know my dad missed me and I always felt safest when I lived in Forks. Maybe my anxiety will disappear and I can be myself again. I am praying this is going to be a good thing because Phoenix is definitely not the place for me.

Since moving here the only friend I made was my boyfriend James, he was a senior and I a junior when we met. We dated for almost ten months and he told me he would always be there for me. I trusted him of course, and found no need to let anyone else in my life. He made me feel like no matter what we would be together. He told me if I had to move again he wouldn't let me and we would be adults and able to start our own lives together.

His Senior Prom was right around the corner and I knew that would be our night. James was always careful with me. He never did anything to make me uncomfortable and I knew I was going to have to make the first move. He understood I had problems being close to people.

I suggested that we spend the night and I was really hoping he understood what I wanted. It felt right. I did not see a reason to wait anymore. Prom was at the Royal Palms Resort, I mean how much more romantic could it be.

I wore a red dress, James' favorite color on me. My hair was pitched high on my head so he could see my neck all night. For some reason he thought my neck was my sexiest feature and he would always want to kiss it first. The night was magical. We danced so much I couldn't stand in my heels anymore.

It was time to go to our room. I was sure nobody would notice that we left early. I might have been playing it cool but I was definitely freaking out. James was the perfect gentleman and made sure our night was absolutely incredible. He obviously got what I wanted.

I woke up the next morning with the sun peaking in the curtains. James wasn't moving but I could tell he was awake. I turned around to kiss him but he was just staring at the ceiling. He felt stone cold. Something was wrong. What did I do? Did he feel guilty for taking my virginity now?

When I almost couldn't take the silence anymore he finally spoke. The words were soft and full of fear, "I got a full scholarship to Texas A&M, and I'm leaving Bella." Before I said anything I stopped to think. Okay that's not so far away, it shouldn't be so bad. I will finish school in a year and I'll be able to move out there. Then I stopped myself again, why did he wait till now to tell me? He's had to known for a few weeks if not months. Months, I thought to myself if he did know for months why is this the first I'm hearing about it?

All that could come out of my mouth was "what the fuck is going on?" I couldn't believe I said it but my lips wouldn't form anything else. James just stared at me. I had to say something if he wasn't, "I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to come out that way."

At that moment my life felt like it was over. He said to me the words I will never forget. "I want to start college on my own Bella. I want to enjoy myself and not have to worry about what I'm doing or who I'm doing it with." Was this it, he took my virginity and now he's breaking up with me. I couldn't believe it.

After everything he knew about me how he could do this. I decided I had to go. I got my shit together and left. I didn't even bother looking into the mirror. I didn't give a fuck. I wanted out of this stupid hotel room. I wanted to get the fuck away from James.

I took a cab back home. Renee and Phil were gone for the weekend. Phil had an away game in Los Angeles. I was glad I didn't have to face my mom. She would question the way I looked and know right away what was wrong with me.

I went to take a shower. I had to get James' smell off of me. I felt like shit, so disgusted in myself. How could he treat me this way? Was this his plan all along? Did I ever mean anything to him? That was probably the longest and hottest shower I ever took. My skin was on fire but I felt like I had to burn James' touch off of me.

When the hot water ran out I grab my towel and curled up into it. I didn't know what else to do so I started to cry like I never cried before. I collapsed onto the floor. I don't know how long I was there, was it minutes, hours, or days. Getting up was not an option. The towel felt like it was suffocating me to the ground.

My life was over.

I was more than just broken, I was dead. James just took my soul and sucked it out of me.

EPOV

Today was the first day of the rest of my life. I am finally getting out high school. Graduation day could have not come any faster. I hated school ever since I could remember. The teachers always ignore me because they knew I was smarter than them. I breezed through every class and never was questioned on how I got A's in every subject.

I moved to Forks when I was 14. I was adopted by Dr. Carlisle Cullen and his wife Esme, after my parents passed away. I guess you could call the Cullen's Saints, only wanting to save children that didn't have a home instead of having there own.

They also adopted 2 girls. One named Alice that was the same age as me. She was as smart as I was and the friendliest person you could ever meet. She talked to everyone at school and was loved by all. My other sister, if you want to call it that, was Rosalie. She was a year older and the one bitch of the family. She didn't go to college because she wanted to move to LA and become an Actress. As she would say she was just waiting for the right time. Carlisle of course would support her and get her a place to live but she hasn't left yet and I have a feeling that's because she's afraid to leave her boyfriend Emmett. Emmett and I are actually pretty good friends. We play video games and he always invites me to play football with his friends. I am not that athletic nor as big as him but I would always go. I didn't have many friends in Forks and Rosalie was happy to have me keep an eye on him. Alice has a boyfriend too, his name is Jasper. Jasper is quiet just like me but we do get along. He's over the house a lot. Alice likes it when we hang out, since she's always so busy with her many friends it gives Jasper something to do. I don't know how Jasper can stand being with Alice. The have opposite personalities for sure, but hey I guess it works.

I've always had my fair share of girls at Fork High School. Since day one girls were throwing themselves at me. I dated a few but none really could hold my attention long enough for me to have a serious relationship with them.

Jessica Stanley was always trying to get my shit but I just saw her as a good lay. So if I got bored I knew who I could call. Fuck it, if she was throwing herself at me I might as well take advantage of it as long as I can. Alice always gave me evil eyes when she saw me talking to Stanley because she knew how I felt about her. I guess it made me feel guilty but than again probably not.

I was walking the halls of Fork High School for the last time ever and thought to myself why not one more round with Jessica. I saw her standing at her locker and grabbed her hand. We walked to the woods behind the school and I told her it was important we left our legacy.

It was fucking cold outside in these woods, ways to cold for June. It brought me back to Alaska, where I grew up. My dad was Felix an auto mechanic and my mom was Jane. She was always sick; she had tumors forming all the time. Cancer was her biggest demon. First it was brain cancer and that she fought off. Then when I was 12 she was told she had pancreatic cancer, the least common but most deadly of them all. My dad probably took the news worse then her. He could not live without my mother. I could see my mom getting worse but they never talked about it in front of me.

When I was 13 they decided to go on vacation together and left me with my Aunt Tanya. I could see my dad crying as they dropped me off. My mom gave me the biggest hug I think I ever felt her give. I thought maybe she was getting better, how else would she have the strength to hug me like that.

It was three days later when I heard the news. My parents were involved in an accident. Their car went off a cliff. They were both found dead. No other car was involved, it wasn't snowing, and they couldn't find a reason for the accident. So what happened? Why were my parents dead? Nobody really talked about it, especially my Aunt Tanya. She knew something was up the day they left but I guess it wasn't her place to say anything.

I feel lost. Everyone at school was looking at what I was becoming. I stopped hanging out with friends and would only want to go home and sit on the couch and sulk in my own depression. I was 13 I should have been starting to like girls and jerking off to porn magazines. I didn't do anything a normal 13 year old would do and I could see it was having its toll on not just me but also on my Aunt Tanya.

Tanya was still single, lived in a small one bedroom apartment. She was 28 and just finished Grad School. I was probably holding her back from finding a job and living her life.

Her friend Irina was over one day and I could hear her talking about me. Irina told her about her uncle, Dr. Cullen. He adopted two girls a few years back and knew that he would love to adopt a boy. Tanya's eye opened like she finally saw a future for me and a future for herself. I pretended I didn't hear a thing. Inside I was shaking, could Tanya really give me up so easy? She was the only family I had left. My mom was her sister, could she really do that to her?

I heard Irina make the call and Tanya was on talking to someone within minutes. I couldn't listen to the conversation but I heard her say "thank you, will make arrangements as soon as I speak with Edward." Was I really being given to another family? Could I complain? Maybe this was the best thing for the both of us. I didn't want to hold Tanya back anymore and maybe moving away from Alaska was the best thing for me, for us.

Now here I am living with the Cullen's for almost four years. Carlisle has tried his hardest to become my dad. He takes me to sporting events, fishing, and does everything manly with me. I really like Carlisle I don't think anyone could not. He has tried to make everything as easy as possible for me. He bought me a Volvo for my seventeenth birthday.

I have anything I need or want at my disposal. The Cullen's are very rich and don't mind spending their money to make someone happy. Esme is also a great mother. She cooks breakfast every day, make everyone lunch and has a grand dinner ready when we all got home. If I need to talk to her she would always have an open ear.

I talk to my Aunt Tanya ever so often. It's always nice to hear from her. She finally landed her dream job, dream man, and will be getting married next year. I can say that Tanya made the right choice for me and now her life was coming together. I have to ask myself, can my life get any better?

I'm finally done walking the halls of Forks High School. I live in a mansion and the Cullen's will do anything for me. I'm fucking Jessica Stanley in the woods. Living life to the fullest right, wrong! It's something that I can't put my finger on but it's definitely wrong. I'm not really happy and I need to know why.