Alison opens the closet and freezes as she catches sight of the blue blazer hanging there. Her heart sinks and her throat tightens, causing her to choke. Donnie brought her the wrong one. This is the wrong one. Wrong one. 'Wrong' keeps flashing in her mind over and over. It's blaring and bright and harsh. It's unforgiving.
She'd hidden this blazer in the back of her closet, it wasn't meant to be taken out. It made her too sad; she wasn't sure that she even wanted to see it again, let alone wear it.
Trembling fingers reach out to gingerly caress the cuff. Her heart clenches in her chest as she lets her fingertips trail up the sleeve. Her mind wanders back to the night she came into possession of this haunting memento. Her lips curve briefly as images flash behind eyelids.
Alison suddenly climbs onto the other woman, settling her knees on either side of Beth's thighs. She needs to be closer. She slides her hands onto Beth's shoulders and begins to ease her blazer off. Beth helps pulling out one arm and then the other tossing it over the back of the couch, never breaking contact. Alison leans forward, molding their fronts together. Beth reaches up and grabs at slender hips. Alison fists her hands in brown locks and brings their lips together more forcefully.
"Wow, Ali." Beth breathes out against the smaller woman's lips before capturing them with her own. She's not used to Alison being in control, but she likes it.
Beth pulls Alison forward by her hips and then lets her hands drift down to get a handful of perfectly toned ass. Beth's mouth leaves Alison and begins to move over her jaw and to her neck.
"Oh." Alison gasps out as Beth leaves a wet trail of open mouth kisses down her neck.
Things are become heated quickly and they both know they need to slow down, but are willing to push it as far as they can. Beth bites down on Alison's shoulder, making Alison moan. That seems to pull them both out of the haze.
"Ali." Beth husks against the other woman's throat.
Alison blinks at the tears streaming down her cheeks, pulling her back to the present. She rubs them away quickly, along with the memory.
Alison smiles remembering Beth had called her asking after the blazer the next day. She's not sure why but she denied having found it, but the lie was out of her mouth before she could stop it. Beth was positive that she'd left it and asked Alison to check again. Alison stuck to her story, so Beth had dropped it. Although, every once and awhile Beth would tease her about it, telling Alison that she owed her a blazer or if Alison wore one similar to Beth's, Beth would swear it was hers. Alison was pretty sure that Beth knew the truth, but Beth never pushed her to give it back. She thinks that secretly Beth liked the idea that Alison wanted to keep something of hers.
Alison looks at the blazer reverently before pulling it out of the closet. She holds it up and twists it from side to side trying to memorize every little detail, looking for some tiny hidden thing she might have overlooked. Maybe she'd missed something, maybe there was a secret pocket. A long lost love note tucked into the lining. Alison sighs. She knows there isn't of course, there is not one inch of this form fitting blazer that she didn't know, inside or out. Alison laughs bitterly; one might say she knew it intimately, like she knew its previous owner.
Alison walks over to the bed and sets the blazer down. She pulls the hanger out and drops it on the bed next to the blazer. She continues to stare down at it remembering how it always made her feel to put it on. Wearing it made her feel loved and safe, like Beth's arms were wrapped around her, holding her. She blinks back the newly forming tears and swallows down the lump in her throat.
Her fingers itch to touch it, but her hand stills over the lapel, close but just out of reach. It's like an ancient relic, she's worshiped at its alter many times. She's built a shrine to her lost love in the form of a blue blazer.
Alison suddenly realizes she's afraid. She actually laughs out loud at the absurdity of the situation. She's terrified that all those feeling and emotions will come rushing back. She stands there for a few more minutes before she finally allows her fingers to brush over the shoulders. She touches it hesitantly; it's a precious fragile thing. If she's not careful it might turn to ash in her hands and then she would be left with nothing and she's lost too much already. She lets her hand smooth down invisible creases and wrinkles, relishing in the feel of the fabric against her palms.
She closes her eyes and imagines Beth's skin under her fingers. She's never expreinced anything more amazing than the feel of Beth's body against hers. She gets flashes of naked flesh and heated caresses. She wants nothing more than to go back, back to those nights spent touching each other until they were too tired to move.
Alison hums to herself and lifts the blazer off the bed. She realizes that this is something she has to do. She's put off thinking about Beth for too long. The pills and the booze, she's made a mess of her life trying to forget and then trying to remember. It's been a vicious cycle. She can't do it anymore; she can't go back to that. Beth wouldn't want her to, she'd want Alison to get herself together.
She slowly slips one arm into the blazer and then the other. She takes a deep calming breath and adjusts the lapel. She fingers the cuffs and pulls them down to cover her wrists. Then she feels it; the love, the warm embrace. She can picture Beth's arms wrapped securely around her telling her that everything will be ok. Alison melts into the blazer feeling safe and protected by this talisman of her dead lover. It empowers her, gives her strength.
There's a knock on the door before Felix and Sarah come barging in.
"Oi." Sarah calls as she walks in and smiles at her clone.
Felix crosses the room and fingers the blazers collar.
"Ohhh, is this new?" he questions as he makes a spinning motion with his hand.
Alison rolls her eyes, but spins slowly before putting her hands out, awaiting Felix's approval.
"I love it on you." Felix compliments the smaller woman and looks pointedly in his sisters direction.
"Uh, yea it's nice." Sarah agrees.
Alison clears her throat and straightens herself to her full height. She smiles slightly and flips her ponytail over her shoulder.
"Thank you," she says, "it was Beth's."