I am neither Moffatt nor Gatiss.
"Basically, you're like my mum," said Melody.
Amelia rolled her eyes. Why did Melody have to be so dramatic all the time? "If I'm being bossy, just tell me. No need to bring mums into it. Where are your dads, anyway?"
"Probably shaggin'," said Melody with an unconcerned shrug. "They're always shaggin'. I don't know how Tad even walks down the path to pick up the mail, seeing how Daddy's always shaggin' him."
"That's gross," said Amelia wrinkling her nose as they walked out the doors of the school. "Hi, Rory," she said to the boy who was waiting on the steps. She and Melody sat down beside him, and promptly ignored him. "Anyway, they can't always shag. Otherwise they'd starve to death and your Tad wouldn't get to the store for his coffee."
Melody shrugged, unconcerned about the mechanics of Tad's Coffee. Tad's Coffee was a fact. So long as there was Tad, there would be Coffee.
"Are you two going to the slumber party?"
This, oddly enough, was said by Rory. Melody looked at him, confusedly. "How do you know about the slumber party? It's for girls."
"Rory counts as a girl," said Amelia, firmly. "I'm going. My Aunt already said yes."
"Ellen's mum said I could stay for a bit but I couldn't sleep there," said Rory.
"I haven't asked," said Melody. Before she could make an excuse, a horn blared and a large black SUV pulled up, driven by a large brunet man with a long blue coat and blindingly white teeth. "Ugh. Why does he always honk the bloody horn?"
"Mr. Jones," shouted Amelia as Melody's adoptive fathers stepped out of the car. "Can Melody come to Ellen's slumber party on Saturday?"
"I don't see why not," said her Tad, a soft spoken Welshman who always wore suits. "Hello Amelia, Rory."
"Hello," said Rory. Amelia just grinned, smugly, at Melody.
"C'mon, Mels," said her Daddy, his American accent still jarring after so long in Leadworth. "Lets get home, and you can tell me what you did this time."