One-shot that I just thought of from the Chair wedding spoilers I heard about. Dan's POV but a little OOC. R&R plz! Mistakes are mine.
This is what Dan thought he should have done during Chuck and Blair's fairytale wedding.
The date is April 13, 2013.
It's a lovely spring Saturday with the flowers in full bloom and the birds chirping harmoniously. Nobody in New York City was outside to enjoy the day's beauty though, as everyone in the city has stuffily gathered inside St. Patrick's Cathedral to witness the wedding of the century.
Dan Humphrey was one of those many in attendance, but not by choice. He was dragged into the ordeal by none other than Georgina Sparks. She was blackmailing him to attend with copies of his scathing tell-all novel about the UES that Dan ultimately decided not to publish. Not a fan of weddings to begin with, Dan suffered sitting in the church pews to behold the nuptials of New York's current power couple.
Blair Cornelia Waldorf vowing her life to Charles Bartholomew Bass.
Dan was disgusted with himself for actually getting out of bed, changing into a suit and tie, and showing up at the church, today. There were billions of things that could have filled his time… eating leftover Chinese takeout and draining a six-pack of beer being at the top of the list. He shouldn't… he wasn't even supposed to be here! Now, here he was nonetheless, helplessly watching this trainwreck of a marriage to occur.
Remembering as clear as day, two weeks ago, in between having breakfast that consisted of a bottle of whisky and a slice of cold pepperoni pizza, and moping over Blair, Dan heard a sudden hollow echo of knuckles rapping on the door. Wondering who in the world it could possibly be as Dan basically cut all ties with the UES, he was beyond displeased to see Chuck Bass, of all people, at his doorstep.
Chuck wore a vicious smile as wide as the Hudson River while handing Dan an envelope simply addressed to him as "Humphrey." In elegant writing, the invitation said,
"You are cordially invited to the exchanging of vows between:
Blair Cornelia Waldorf and Charles Bartholomew Bass.
Saturday, the 13th of April, 2013 at ten o' clock.
St. Patrick's Cathedral
14 East 51st Street, New York, NY 10022, US"
They were going to be married. The Princess and the Dark Knight.
Chuck personally handed the invite to gauge some sort of reaction from Dan. If Dan had learnt anything from living around UES residents for years, it's hiding your true emotions like a pro.
"Blair didn't want to invite you, but I insisted. Of course only to gloat that I had finally won but Blair doesn't need to know that. Funny, I didn't have to work for it much this time because she pursued me. I hope you RSVP, bring a guest if you wish, but who would go with you, I wouldn't know." Chuck left almost immediately afterwards, still smirking, which made Dan want to clock him a few more times.
The invitation in Dan's hands was mocking him, a constant reminder of what could've been for the muppet-haired man. So, in a fit of rage Dan crumpled the invite and tossed it generously into the trashcan. About an hour later, Georgina had found out about the wedding via Gossip Girl and made Dan bring her as his "date." As much as Georgina would love to crash Blair's fairytale wedding… for the second time, she wanted to actually stay this time, for their garden reception. She would be able to down as much champagne the Waldorf-Bass families could afford because since Milo had been born, not much fun was happening in Georgina's life.
This is how Dan finds himself disgruntled and sitting uncomfortably on the stiff cathedral pew next to Georgina, in the presence of an abomination.
This is Blair's second time around in the marriage department. Her first marriage, to Louis, the Prince of Monaco, was supposed to be her fairytale ending but it was far from it, in actuality. Louis was an ass, but Chuck Bass is an even bigger ass, which is why Dan can't even begin to comprehend why she was committing herself to that Basstard in the eyes of her friends, family, and even God, himself. He tried to be happy for Blair on this day, he genuinely tried, but he just could not plaster a fake smile. Once upon a time, Dan thought it should have been him standing across the altar from her but that was only wishful thinking. If Blair were to have married any other man than a Bass, hell… even another prince, Dan could handle that without as much pain… but Chuck Bass? Really?
Earlier in the day, Dan talked with the only resident of Manhattan that he could still tolerate… Nate of course. Nate had just checked on Blair, who was doing just fine primping in front of the mirror. He had said she looked marvelous in another white Vera Wang dress. Blair confidently confided in Nate that she was ready… it was everything she had hoped for and more. Nothing and no one would ruin this day for Chuck and her. After taking a celebratory shot with Chuck, he apparently said the same thing. It was hard for Dan to swallow his pride in order to listen to Nate, but finding out that she was finally truly happy made his heart ache a little less and even brought the smallest of smiles upon his face. Dan wanted to go see Blair, to convince her that she would be another one of her big mistakes, but he just didn't have the heart to follow through and ruin her happiness because at the end of the day, Dan still cared for Blair, deeply. If she was really happy with Chuck, not with him or anyone else than he just had to suck it up.
Fast-forward to an hour and a half later, where Blair and Chuck are in the middle of their ceremony. Blair, looking flawless in her all-over ivory lace, mermaid silhouette gown with an empire waist and little cap sleeves in lace as well. The bottom, where it puffs out is really puffy and exaggerated, and the train is just longer than a typical chapel length. At the empire waist, she wore a dark purple velvet ribbon about 1-2 inches wide with a formed bow at the back. Starting at the top of where the volume of the skirt begins there is another formed bow in purple velvet. There is two more below that in the middle and then at the base of the train. Those two are detachable so that when the train is bustled they will not be on the dress. The bustle starts behind the knees with the velvet bow at the top center, and the train is folded so that it hangs straight with side pleats down the back of Blair's legs.
Chuck…. Well not much could be said about Chuck except for the fact he is wearing another one of his expensive suits with a velvet handkerchief in his breast pocket that matches the shade of Blair's bows.
The priest was at the crucial point in the ceremony: the infamous line "If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together – let them speak now or forever hold their peace."
Before Dan could do anything about it, his thoughts could not be filtered as he stands up and blurts out,
"I OBJECT!"
Everyone was extremely dumbfounded and gasping. Whispers were muttered amongst the guests as they all turned around to face the man who questioned the marriage between Blair and Chuck… Dan Humphrey.
"What do you think you're doing, Cabbage Patch? I thought you had enough class in you to let me go with dignity, Humphrey."
"I care about you Blair and that's exactly why I can't let you marry Chuck, today or ever for that matter. If you don't care about me at all than that's alright because I'm over all that, but I'm objecting to this marriage bec-"
Dan never got to finish that sentence because Blair slapped him, followed by a strong connecting jab from Chuck.
Blood gushed on Dan's white but tattered Calvin Klein button-up. His nose was surely broken up impact. He was babbling incoherent sentences as he realized blood was now pouring out faster than a landslide. The crimson seeds of blood burst with heavy explosion.
Dan took the quick uppercut to the face from Chuck and naturally stumbled backwards. The muppet was hazily taken aback but fought in response, lunging forward with great intensity, the natural fighter in him springing into action. His emotions rioted like water down the river bank. As his fist connected with Chuck's eye, Dan sheepishly grinned for a mere second for he had landed a clean shot leading to a nice cut under his eye, a pretty shiner, which only fueled the fire from Chuck. Charging at Dan at full speed, he rammed Dan's back against the wall, smacking the back of his head along the rough surface upon contact and pinning him there. It wasn't until Dan weakly shoved him backwards that he noticed the multiple cuts and bruises on his hands, and more recently, the bright, tiny droplets of blood that spat on Dan's fist. Chuck swung his right fist around and connected with Dan's gut with a resounding thud, almost as if everyone in the church could hear Dan's bones breaking internally. Dan sputtered out a curse laced with blood and crumpled to the ground. Pain exploded against the side of Dan's ribs and he staggered, seeing stars; blinking blood out of his eyes, but he continued to battle savagely in mortal combat. Dan and Chuck were both blinded by sweat, panting and blowing fists, neither asking nor giving anything less than flesh meeting flesh. Crimson droplets sprawled along the cathedral floor; broken debris was strewn to the side as if a bull had run its course through the church.
Chuck collapsed to the floor, nose gushing red, clotted blood. Dan stood, towering over New York's fallen Dark Knight, under the house of God, as he repeatedly punched Chuck in the face to the extent that Chuck wasn't even responding to the hits. He was losing consciousness quickly. Everything from there went into a fast-paced blur as Chuck's eyes began to succumb to tiredness, fading the horrifying scene to black, as if it were a movie.
Everything happened so fast…it was so intense and heated that no one dared try to break it up until Chuck collapsed. As everyone tried to pull Dan apart from Chuck, Dan knocked over several rows of candles that were lit in the far left side of the cathedral. With the candles knocked over, Dan made matters worse as a fire had now started inside of St. Patrick's. Guests were leaving panic-stricken as the creeping tongues of flames, with hungry lust, burnt in scarlet fury. The crackling, coughing, fiery fire crept along, itching its way closer. The ferocious blaze continued licking up any remaining remnants of the scorched building and savoring it with a vengeance.
There were three people left in the cathedral: Chuck, who was still on the ground unconscious; Blair, who was in hysterics, kneeling by Chuck's side in her wedding dress and spewing at Dan; and Dan, who had fallen back on his knees to look on at what he had done in horror. The cathedral continued to be engulfed by the inferno eventually swallowing the only three people left inside.
Yes, those events should have occurred at the wedding between Blair and Chuck.
But none of it ever did.
The saying "art often imitates reality" is one that Dan Humphrey is used to hearing as an author but in his case, Dan's reality is far from a writer's imagination.
The date is April 13, 2013.
It's a lovely spring Saturday with the flowers in full bloom and the birds chirping harmoniously. Nobody in New York City was outside to enjoy the day's beauty though, as everyone in the city has stuffily gathered inside St. Patrick's Cathedral to witness the wedding of the century.
Dan Humphrey was not one of those many in attendance. He did receive an invite two weeks ago though, no thanks to Chuck gloating in Dan's face. The invitation in Dan's hands was mocking him, a constant reminder of what could've been for the muppet-haired man. So, in a fit of rage Dan crumpled the invite and tossed it generously into the trashcan. What was the point of going? He wasn't happy for them nor would he try to fake it either… not for ChuckandBlair, BlairandChuck. Besides, he wasn't a fan of weddings to begin with, so why should he suffer through sitting on stiff church pews to witness and epic failure.
Blair Cornelia Waldorf vowing her life to Charles Bartholomew Bass.
Instead, Dan wakes up in a sleeping bag in the middle of his now empty loft. He decided to take a page out of his sister's book. Like Jenny, Dan felt it was finally time to escape the toxicity that is the UES. What better day to leave than on the day the woman he loves is to marry someone else… a certain Basshole.
Last week, Dan booked a flight to leave New York and the only people who knew were his father and Nate. He is going to return to Italy, where a nice Italian family he met over the summer will take him under their wing until Dan can figure out how to live on his own. Dan chose Italy as his permanent residence because of its amazing scenery and diverse culture. Italy is such an inspiration to Dan's writing. His flight to Italy was booked for 10:45, which was perfect because it would be during the wedding of the century that he wasn't planning to attend to in the first place.
Strolling confidently down the terminal of JFK because he was early, Dan wanted to buy a couple of magazines for the long flight ahead of him so he went to the gift shop. Of course when he looked over at the array of choices, he managed to skim over the bridal section where Blair Waldorf's face was plastered everywhere on the front cover of several bridal magazines wearing her Vera Wang wedding dress. Rushing out of the shop without buying anything, Dan's confidence was being drained with each step he took through JFK. With each step, Dan thought about Blair's first attempt at marriage and that though she did marry Louis, Blair Waldorf ran away with a boy from Brooklyn… all the way to JFK in an attempt to fly off to the Dominican Republic.
Dan's only wish at this point was that his flight would arrive on time, so he could get the hell out as soon as possible… it's not like anyone was going to miss him, anyways. He knew today wasn't going to end like a romantic comedy… the love of his life breathlessly running through the airport like a crazed maniac in order to stop him from boarding his flight. Blair was not going to run around in her wedding dress… again, just to profess her love for him and vice versa and have the credits roll when they passionately kiss. It was a writer's fantasy but certainly not Dan's reality.
He anxiously waited for his flight but filled his time with writing down plots in his notebook from his earlier imaginings. As much as Dan wished for what should have happened during the Waldorf-Bass nuptials, he knew his reality was the way to go. He would not be leaving with darkness pulling him into the abyss but with a fresh start. No bitterness, no hope, no nothing. A fresh start. His plane landed safe and sound and on time, so he was happy to be boarding. As soon as he sat in his seat, the first thing Dan did was turn off his phone to be a courteous passenger and to save himself from the Gossip Girl blast he was expecting on Chuck and Blair finally tying the knot.
If he had left his phone on for a few more minutes, Dan would have seen the Gossip Girl blast, but it would have been one that he was certainly not prepared for...
Gossip Girl Blast:
Gossip Girl here -
It would seem that even though there is nothing and no one to stop B's fairytale ending with our very own Dark Knight, she managed to ruin it herself by running away once again… leaving C to brood at the altar. Oh B… where are you running off to? Or should I say, who are you running off to?
Spotted: B raggedly breathing through JFK in her now tattered wedding gown… is it just me or does it feel like déjà vu? I think after her little chat with N, her head and her heart told her to end up at JFK. To my knowledge, Lonely Boy was also spotted at JFK earlier. Are the runaway two reuniting for another attempt at a tropical getaway just to relieve B from pressure… or is there something more to this?
Stay glued to your screens because I'm getting down to the bottom of this, one way or another. I may not have been a fan previously, but I am actually rooting for Queen B and Lonely Boy to successfully run off together this time around. Here's hoping!
I know you love me XOXO
Gossip Girl
By the time Blair arrived at Dan's gate, the plane was already headed for takeoff. She was too late, yet again. Blair was too late in believing she was in love with Dan and she was too late to tell him… now he is on his way to his fresh start in Italy.
If Dan's plane had only been delayed and if he only saw the Gossip Girl blast… they would have their romantic comedy ending…
Although Dan's reality was far different than what he thought should have happened on the day of Chuck and Blair's wedding, there was one thing that both scenarios had in common. Lonely Boy never ended up with Queen B, the girl of his dreams, and he was as lonely as ever.
The date is April 13, 2013.
It's a lovely spring Saturday with the flowers in full bloom and the birds chirping harmoniously. Everyone was expecting to witness the wedding of the century… but it never happened.
Blair Cornelia Waldorf was not vowing her life to Charles Bartholomew Bass.
Blair Cornelia Waldorf wanted to vow her life to Daniel Randolf Humphrey… but that wasn't going to happen, either.