Remus heard the smash of the window when he entered the portrait hole. He paused for a second before hearing a large bang. On this he headed cautiously but quickly towards the direction of the banging; his bedroom.
On the stairs he bumped into James and Peter.
"Remus! Oh God," James clutched at his jumper in panic and anger. "Remus I can't even... just.. You talk to him. I can't deal with him right now I might hit-" There was another loud bang and an enraged yell.
James glanced at the door he had just vacated, clapped Remus on the shoulder and hurried off, Peter following him guiltily. Remus paused outside the door, listening. The banging had subsided but he could hear a strange whistling noise. Remus clicked his tongue and took a breath before entering.
Sirius was sitting with his back to Remus on the edge of his bed, looking at the floor. Both his fists were clenched. The window was smashed and one of the legs of Remus's desk was inexplicably on James's bed, tilting Remus's desk towards the floor, his stationary scattered everywhere. The whistling sound was coming from what seemed like hundreds of scrolls of paper, homework, letters, birthday cards, all kinds, flying haphazardly across the ceiling like a whirlpool. Remus walked slowly over towards Sirius, ducking occasionally to avoid paper cuts. This sort of magic; wandless and unchecked, was never a good sign.
"Sirius.."
There was no response. Remus stood beside his friend for a while, looking at him and wondering what to do.
"Sirius are you-" He wasn't ok. Remus didn't even bother finishing the question.
Cautiously he sat down next to his black haired friend. Sirius's face was covered in a sheet of hair. Hesitantly, Remus reached out to move the hair away from Sirius's face. A centimetre from touching him Sirius suddenly grabbed Remus by the wrist and turned to face him.
Remus froze expecting a lash out. But Sirius just looked at him curiously.
"What were you doing?"
"I-" Remus's voice caught in his throat. "I wanted to see your face."
A curious look came over Sirius and he stared at Remus intently. "There."
"I mean," Remus clarified, his heart pumping, "I wanted to see if you were ok."
"Oh." Sirius dropped Remus's hand. "I'm fine."
His other hand remained scrunched in a fist but Remus could see a corner of white paper sticking out. A letter from home then. With this clue to guide his next step he attempted a different angle.
"So, what's all the parchment?" He asked light-heartedly, gesturing at the ceiling. Sirius looked up briefly and then back down into his lap.
"I don't know how to make it stop."
Remus nodded. Uncontrollable aggressive magic was something he could sympathise with. They each had their own trigger; for Remus it was the moon and for Sirius it was, well, home.
He wondered whether to ask Sirius about the letter and thought better of it. If he wanted to talk about it he would. He was about to fill the silence with a bland remark about homework when Sirius turned to him again, his eyes filled with desperation.
"Moony..." He whispered. Remus leaned closer, his heart speeding up once more.
"Yes, Sirius, what is it?"
"Moony... can I-" Large grey eyes stared deep into Remus's own. "Can I do your make-up?"
"What?" Remus blinked in surprise. "My make-up?"
"Yeah," Sirius breathed, leaning closer. "I've wanted to for a while now..."
"Well," Remus was doubtful, "Its not very... well its not very manly is it?"
"I wear make-up!" Sirius exclaimed looking hurt.
This was true. For special occasions like concerts or parties or Tuesdays Sirius would don black eyeliner in keeping with his rocker outlook and he would look gorgeous and manly in the process. Remus however had neither the rugged masculinity nor the leather jacket to pull off such a style. He began to protest and Sirius began to rifle in his drawer and he realised it was hopeless.
"Well, okay. But only a little. Nothing tacky. And no sticking charms- I know your tricks," Sirius stuck his tongue out at him. "And nothing girly."
"Relax, Moony." Sirius said impatiently, turning to face him on the bed cross-legged, his lap filled with a variety of objects Remus didn't recognise in a variety of colours Remus didn't want to imagine on his face. "I know what I'm doing. Now, turn and face me."
Remus obediently swung his legs round so he too was sitting cross-legged on the bed, facing the other boy.
"Okay," Sirius was fiddling with one of the tubes. "Now, close your eyes."
Remus shot Sirius a look of suspicion before closing his eyes.
"Don't. Move." Sirius commanded slowly and quietly. He felt the bed compress as Sirius leaned towards him.
All of a sudden Remus felt something wet on his eyelid and he recoiled, opening his eyes.
"Don't move, dammit!" Sirius exclaimed. He pulled Remus back towards him, wiping the eye with his cuff. "We'll have to start again, now."
"Sorry," Remus mumbled.
This time he was expecting it and actually almost enjoyed the sensation of the cool, wet line being swept across his eyelid. He felt it on his other eye too and began to open his eyes.
"Ah, ah, ah not yet." Sirius was sounding frighteningly like one of those women off a make-over show and Remus wondered whether this was one of those ambitions you're not really supposed to tell your friends like how you used to want to be a cheerleader.
Remus waited with his eyes shut, listening to Sirius clatter around, mumbling to himself. "Ahah."
Something prickly brushed against his eyelashes and Remus winced.
"Ow, Sirius, what is that?"
"Don't be a baby. Now stay still."
Remus frowned as Sirius continued to prickle him. He felt hot air on his face and realised it was Sirius's breath. How close was the other boy to him? He resisted the urge to open his eyes and look, knowing it would earn him a smack round the face for messing up Sirius's artwork.
It was curiously liberating not being able to see what was going on; leaving himself entirely in the trust of Sirius. And he did trust Sirius. Absolutely. With his life. But not so much with his face...
"Okay, now..." Sirius muttered, ceasing the prickling and wiping something wet underneath Remus's eye. "You're almost done. Just, open your mouth."
"What! No way." Remus shook his head vehemently, "Absolutely not. Not lipstick."
He creaked open an eyelid and studied Sirius's dismayed expression.
"Oi, no looking." Sirius clamped a hand over his eyes, careful not to smudge his work. "Please Remus? I want you to be pretty..."
Remus sighed, hating himself for giving in.
"Fine." He muttered. "But not red."
"Yippee!" Sirius kissed him on the cheek spontaneously and began rifling. "I have the perfect shade... ahah."
Remus bit his lip.
"None of that. Okay," Sirius commanded. "Open your mouth wide." Remus gaped. "No, you plonker, not like you're about to eat someone. Like big lips like," Sirius thought for a moment. "Like blowjob lips."
Remus choked. "And what makes you think I know-"
"Moony."
Remus went quiet. Reluctantly he opened his mouth as Sirius instructed. He felt something warm and greasy touch his top lip. It slid around it and then attacked his bottom lip too. Remus wrinkled his nose; he didn't like the feel of this.
"Aaaaaaaand you're done!" Sirius exclaimed, triumphantly. Remus opened his eyes. Sirius shook his head, grinning and clamping his hand back over Remus's eyes. "But, but don't look yet. C'mere." Sirius grabbed Remus by the sleeve and dragged him off the bed, causing him to stumble slightly. Remus knew where Sirius was taking him, to the large mirror above James's chest of drawers. Sirius stopped him abruptly, twisting him to the left.
"Okay.." He clapped his hands on Remus's shoulders and moved away. "You can open them."
Standing in front of Remus was a girl. A thin girl with hair that somehow was too short and looked like it needed a haircut at the same time. She was pretty, Remus decided, in a pale, terrified sort of way. Her big amber eyes were framed by heavy dark eyelashes, making her eyes stand out, making her look both beautiful and vulnerable. Her small mouth was slightly open and the subtlest shade of pink made it look like she'd been biting it in worry.
It wasn't bad, Remus decided. Not bad at all.
"Well?" Asked Sirius eagerly.
"Are you kidding? I look ridiculous, I can't believe I let you talk me into these things, its so-"
Sirius hugged Remus tightly. "You are my beautiful baby girl" he announced "and you like it".
Remus smiled reluctantly.
"Well, this means I get to do you next time."
Sirius winked at him lewdly and Remus sighed, very much trying to seem like the adult in the situation which was increasingly hard considering he was trussed up like a teenage girl. He glanced at his friend out of the corner of his eye. Sirius looked happy. Remus suddenly became aware that the whistling and flapping had stopped. The room was scattered in parchment but there was no longer uncontrolled magic in the air.
"Remus?"
"Hmmm?"
Sirius's voice went very small. "I- I think I broke your desk."
"Oh," Remus glanced back towards the desk. He had forgotten about that. "Oh, that's okay, Padfoot. It'll mend."
Sirius peered at him before looking away. "And I think I upset Prongs."
"Well," Remus put a hand on his shoulder, comfortingly, "That'll mend too, Pads. You know Prongs, he'll forgive you anything."
"I- I know." Sirius looked up, biting his lip. "Moony I-" He tailed off. "Moony, you know I never mean to..."
"I know." Remus took his hand. "It's ok."
They stood there for a second before Sirius broke off into giggles.
"Bloody hell Moony, it doesn't half ruin your impact when you look like a bloody great woman."
"Oi!" Remus punched him in the shoulder. "Arse."
"Nancy."
"Wanker."
"Woman."
Remus leapt on Sirius, tackling him to the floor, laughing. And in that moment it didn't matter that he was covered in make-up, or that Sirius still hadn't spoken about what had happened, or that Sirius was just fundamentally screwed up by his parents, because Remus had made him happy. And if a pile of makeup and losing his masculinity completely was what it took to heal Sirius then Remus would happily look like a bloody great princess for as long as needed be.
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