Gotta Go fast - parody by meeeeee, because I read some crazy fan fics tonight that made me cringe so hard, I just was like, I could rewrite all of these and make them hilarious, so here goes...
Basically, I plan to spoof the OOC fails people do... And/or the ridiculous, uncalled for pairings... Maybe I do this too so go ahead and call me out for it... But here goes...
"Oh uh, hey there Tails. Heh, long time no see, right? It's only been a day, but, missed ya buddy." Sonic said with half closed eyes and a smirk, patting tails on the shoulders.
"Don't touch me." Tails said. "Or I'll break your knee."
Sonics eyes squinted and he shook his head, dashing off.
"FAKER!" Shadow exclaimed from the distance. We do not know where they are at the present time. Maybe they are in the Red room of pain, about to have sex. Maybe they are on the Space colony ark, about to turn super. ITS JUST NOT SPECIFIED. SO MUCH ANTICIPATION.
"I think you're the fake hedge-" Are you serious? How many times do we have to repeat that?
Shadow pulls out a gun and shoots Sonic. "This is WHO I AM!"
Sonic is dead, lyk if u cried.
Chronological failure, Sonic is somehow still alive. He is battling Silver. He tries to bargain with him but is shot down by constant "IT'S NO USE"s. "Fuck this" Sonic says, "I gon get laaaaaid."
Next thing we know, Sonic is getting it on, with someone, we don't know who. Is it SHADOW? Is it Amy? Rouge? Sally? Tails?
Nope.
ITS ...
KNUCKLES!
Surprise, motherfucker...
"Uh, Knux...?"
"NOT NOW SONIC! I'm busy!"
"...You're too slow."
"MOTHERFUCK-" Knuckles punches Sonic all the way out of his grasp. Failing to realise though, that , HE HAS NO ONE TO BANG NOW. Until comes along Sticks and Amy. Hell yeah, its threesome time!
Shadow is watching from a distance as the shenanigans unfold.
"He might have them now... But ... I AM THE ULTIMATE LIFE FORM! I'm the coolest..."
INSERT CROSSOVER: Twilight, but because its FANFICTION, its fifty shades of grey. Don't ask questions, just go with it
"My desires are more... unique." Says a black and red hedgehog, owner of all dominance and sadism. "I have killed people in the past with my sexual desires. I have made them bleed. Scream. Die. And die some more. And come back from the after life, and die another time. Is this what you want, Sonic?!"
"Meow," Sonic said nervously. Turns out, he's been CAST A SPELL APON BY SOME MOFO and CANNOT SPEAK! But, Shadow was gon dominate him anyway. "PREPARE UR ASS HEDGEHOG" Shadow says
THIS IS WHO I AM Shadow says
Opens the RED ROOM OF PAIN
and there is
knuckles
Sonic is laying down on the leather bed and Shadow puts earphones in his... EARS! BAM!
"I like to play to my submissives music to make the events more exciting..."
"its no use its no use its no use its no use its no use..."
NO TOUCHING EVEN HAPPENS BUT EVERYONG HAS AN ORGASM BECAUSE ITS NO USE
FUCKING OKAY STORIES OVER BYE