A/N: Hey everyone, just a short little story based on what has to be one of my all-time favorite episodes of Inuyasha. This is my first time writing for this fanfiction, so please be kind. I haven't written in awhile, so if the characters seem a little OC (please forgive!) and the grammar's a little off…GOMEN NE!! I'm working on it? But, I just thought this whole episode was hilarious and this idea came to me soo randomly I had to stop whatever I was doing (which was studying, go figure) and write it down before I forgot it all!!

Disclaimer: I don't own, but I'm owned by it.

Summary: Everyone's favorite perverted monk somehow gets a hold of one of those 'crown' things that make the victim fall hopelessly in love with its owner. What happens when he tries to use it on the female members of the group? Silly chaotic madness ensues…

The Crown

Chapter 1: The Attack of the Monk

"Miroku-sama? Where did you get that?!"

Considering the circumstances, Kagome Higurashi was in an understandably frightful state. Miroku, although it must have been an evil Miroku, somehow got his hands on the one thing he desired most. The one thing that would be a truly horrific experience for all women everywhere and the greatest of all triumphs for him.

He had somehow managed to get a crown.

Oh, not just any crown. It was the same one that the pig youkai…well, to be technically correct, the boar youkai, Chokyuukai, had to have complete power over his innocent victims. Yes, the very same crown that made you an obedient slave to the one who possessed said crown. It may have looked innocent enough, with its simple gold oval shape and not quite-connected front, but Kagome knew all about the havoc it could potentially wreak. She knew this especially because she was speaking from personal experience. Shuddering at the thought, she focused back to the matter at hand.

Kagome peered at the monk closely. She made the firm decision that she definitely did not like what she saw. Miroku looked like a maniac! There was no other way to describe the crazy look in his eyes, as if he was on the brink of being named king of the world. He was breathing pretty hard too, like he couldn't wait to get started. Started on what…Kagome just hoped she would never have to find out.

Miroku stared at Kagome, then back at the crown, back to Kagome and smiled the creepiest, most perverted smile to ever grace the monk's, usually handsome, face. If there ever were a time in which she could take the submission necklace off Inuyasha and put it on someone else, it definitely would have been now. Unfortunately, much to Kagome's dismay and much to Miroku's luck, that wouldn't be happening any time soon.

"Ahh-- Kagome. You should consider this such an honor, you've just won to be the first of many to fall hopelessly in love…" –his devious smile grew even wider- "…with me."

The young girl's eyes bugged out immediately. "Wait, Miroku. This is a joke, right? You're not really serious…" Kagome ended weakly. She knew it was hopeless before she even began. Miroku, joking about winning beautiful womens' hearts? Yeah…right. But, she at least gave it some effort. That had to count for something.

The blue-robed man started to slowly approach her, still adorned with the menacing gleam in his eyes. This didn't look like it was going well at all. How in the world had he managed to get a crown! Acutally, she didn't want to know. It probably involved all kinds of illegal bartering and unscrupulous behaviors that she couldn't even imagine being possible.

"W-w-WAIT!" Kagome held up a hand to stop him from reaching her. "What about Sango-chan? I thought you had feelings for her!" she desperately tried to reason. Really, this was borderline psychotic madness. She would have thought it all a horrible dream, except she knew for a fact about Miroku's perverted tendencies as well as she knew for a fact about Inuyasha's crazed love for ramen. Both were unstoppable when it came to something they really wanted and this time would be no different, at least in the monk's case.

"All in good time Kagome-sama. It just so happened to be you that I found first," he replied smoothly, as if he had the future all figured out already.

What could Kagome do but laugh nervously. Surely something will disrupt this deeply disturbing scene that would save her. Yes…anything…please??

"Kagome-chan! Where are you?" A far-off voice called.

Saved!

"Sango-chan! I'm over here, and can you hurry please?" Now that help was on the way, Kagome felt some tension ease out of her stiff figure. But, as she was turned around and calling out to the other woman, the monk had silently crept up to her and was now just a few inches away. He was on the verge of placing the crown on her dark hair when she whipped around. With shock written all over her face, Kagome awaited the next second with dread. She was already too late to stop him.

"Hiraikotsu!"

Miroku never saw it coming.

Almost immediately, he was knocked to the ground and landed quite hard on his back. He groaned, but still clutched the golden crown in his hand.

Sango quickly made it to where Kagome was standing, who still happened to be shocked from what just happened. "Kagome! Are you alright?" With a nod from the younger girl, she turned to give her hardest glare to the rumpled form on the ground. "Houshi-sama! What's wrong with you! And, where did you get that!" she hissed.

Miroku, acting completely unfazed, gathered his strength and regained his composure. He stood up and tried his most charming smile at the obviously irate demon exterminator.

"Oh Sango, my dearest, I knew you would come. Now, I'll have two stunning women hopelessly in love with me."

Kagome and Sango exchanged a look. They both were thinking the same thing:

Miroku, a professional in what is known as the perverse, had completely lost it.

TBC…

Sorry to cut it so short, but should I continue?? I don't want to butcher the characters and then butcher myself for being such a rusty writer. Well, I decided to extend this baby into a 2-shot. We'll see how far it takes me! Thanks for reading!! Oh yes, I almost forgot. Please review? Pretty please...with cherries and whipped cream on top?? And sugar too, if you want.

-Tinkah