I'm sitting all alone, in my quiet bare house. You're not here of course. Even though i sometimes picture you sitting in the chair beside me. You're smiling, your bleaming white smile. The smile i want to burn inside my head forever. I want it to carve my memories just like it has my heart. My Heart that seems to be torn apart lately...
You're never smiling anymore. The blank look on your face makes me hurt. Hurt. I'll see you walking past me, I'll say Hello wearing the best smile i can put on. Yet, you only give me a blank, blank greeting. And you don't even want to talk with me anymore. Why not? Are you scared like i am? Scared that you'll never see your own smile again?
Where did your smile go? Can i help you obtain it again? Why can't you smile? Can you let me help you get it back? Please! I'll do anything! I'm pictureing you smile beside me right now! I can see it! I know you want to smile again...right? It's breaking my heart...Lately my heart has been playing tricks on me...Or perhaps it's my head telling me lies. Well, i really just want you to smile again. Wrap me in your arms as you smile...I want to see you smile again! Please!
Huh? What's this? A tear? I can feel me cold wet tears srip down my face. Your smiling face should be wiping them away...Oh, wait. You're not even in the same room as me. My imagination is getting me mixed up...I'll picture you, say something then you're gone...That smile of yours dissapears too. The smile that i carved within me disappears...My tears aren't leaving me. They're dripping out like a an endless waterfall. Please be that cold blizzard that freezes them and makes them stop coming. I want only you to stop them...i won't accept anyone elses help.
If you don't smile soon, I'll break. I'll break easily like a twig. A twig that fell off from their tree, and fallen to the hard ground. Feeling abondoned from everything. Then, someone steps on it, lightly. I'll break, just like that. A twig, a fragile weak, lonely twig. Easily broken. The only thing hat can cure me, is your smile. Okay? So come soon...and make sure you bring your smile, that's all i want is to see your smile.
I don't want to see you not smiling! I yelled out the window. It's no use, you're not going to hear it anyways...Even ifyou did, would i make a difference? Would you take it to heart and come see me, smiling? Would you! I can't take this anymore. The tears are coming back!
I'm all alone in my house. I'm picturing you sitting in the chair beside me. And you're smiling too. Haha...what a joke right? I never sit in that chair because it hold something special. You and your smile. I'll only let you sit here...The fabric is nice! you said so yourself. Remember? We were laughing and having fun, fun!
Well, it's time for me to head to bed for another endless night...I don't even think i have enough energy to get to bed. I'll just lay here, light on and everything. I'll drift away into my own thoughts of your smile, and sleep...Peacefully. I'll sleep peacefully with you and your smile. The smile you lost.
The smile i carved inside my heart and memories.
China, I love you.