ADVENTURES with DEIDARA

"I hate this, yeah/un/hn!" yelled the blonde, artsy, girly-looking Akatsuki member. "Stupid Uchiha's thinking they're so great with their genetics and spiny eyes, yeah/un/hn."

Deidara was complaining about how the shinobi with their kekki-genkai think it makes them so superior, in circles, around a tree, not even a mile away from the gates of Konoha.

"I'm tired of those Uchihas! My art is so much better than their stupid eyes, yeah/un/hn!"

Obviously, Deidara's ranting attracted some attention. A blonde head that seemed to be on fire was running to the Deidara Ranting Tree.

"Ranting Tree?"

Yes, Ranting Tree.

"Laaamme."

Is not.

"Is too."

Is not.

"Yeah, totally lame, yeah/un/hn."

Shut up or you'll end up in an emo hole.

To continue...

The blonde kunochi raced up to a yard away from the Ranting Tree. "Deidara of the Akatsuki, state your reason here and pre-seed into custody." Deidara stopped ranting in circles to look at her. She was average height, had blue eyes, blonde hair in a side pony-tail on the top of her head with bangs that framed her face. Half way from the roots of her hair, it turned red in an uneven fashion giving it the look to be on fire. She wore a purple corset top, black mini skirt, fishnet leggings that stopped at her knees, her forehead protector around her neck, and the green jounin jacket opened, instead of the usual closed look.

"Who are you, yeah/un/hn?"

"I am Rai, jounin of Konohakagure," she said proudly.

"Just arrest me, yeah/un/hn!!!" Deidara said weepingly, holding out his wrists, "It'd be best, I can't go outside anymore. Damn you Uchihas, Hyuugas, and other people with oh so great character special power thingies, yeah/un/hn!"

Rai stood there, her head cocked to the side, then started cracking up.

"Am I that lame?"

Continues laughing.

"Hey, how it that fair, yeah/un/hn?"

Still laughing.

"Stop it!"

"Sorry, sorry," Rai said, "Its just I was tricking you. I'm not taking you in. I'm going to help you."

"Really, yeah/un/hn."

"Yes! For to long have excellent ninjas been outshone by the likes of Uchihas and Hyuugas! Now it is time for revenge! Mwahahahahahahhhaahaha-cough cough-wahahaha"

Deidara shrugged and joined in "Mwahahahahahahahahahahahah! Ha ha ha ha, eh. So how are we going to do it, yeah/un/hn?"

"I'm getting there!" Rai whined.

May I suggest ruining their lives?

"No you can't."

"How about ruining their lives, yeah/un/hn?"

"That's a great idea Deidara!"

⚇Ü»Ü…Ü«Ü ⚆

"So what's the plan, yeah/un/hn?"

"Well, we must find ways to torture them for the rest of their lives. Since they rely on those eyes so much, why don't we just pull them out?"

"Yes, but we can make it worse, yeah/un/hn. We could put meatloaf in their eyesockets!"

"No, we have to torture them, then put meatloaf in their eyesockets. Who to torture first..."

"ITACHI!" Deidara said with his eyes aflaming, "It's time to teach him a lesson, yeah/un/hn! Calling me a girl, I'll show you GirlyMan!!!! ITS TIME FOR REVENGE!"

"But how is the question."

The Authress suggests that you... make him feel stupid... By making him think he has gone blind... And... KISSING KISAME! So the Authress suggests, yes.

"For once that pathetic Authress is right, yeah/un/hn."

Glad we feel the same way.

"SO ITACHI UCHIHA, RAI, JOUNIN OF THE LEAF VILLAGE AND DEIDARA OF THE AKATSUKI WILL COME TO SMITE YOU!!!!"

EnD

So yes, this ends the first chapter of ADVENTURES with DEIDARA. Next chapter I will open a Ask A Naruto Character thingy at the end of each chapter, so ask away. You can ask any Naruto character anything, within infantile reasoning and appropriate to keep this story at least rated T. Start asking now while you still can!

See you next time! Bye-Byez!

FearTheFan