The alarm blares throughout the tower. Red flashes of light illuminate my dark and dreary room. I open my eyes and stare up at my ceiling. 'How long have I been lying here?'
I continue to lay on the floor for what feels like hours as the alarm deafens my ears. The rough carpet irritates my skin, but I ignore it. I can't feel anything anymore anyway. There's a hesitant knock on my door. "Raven…?"
It's Robin. His voice shakes as he speaks. "There's trouble downtown. A bank robbery, I think. We'd better go."
But I don't move.
The door slides open. Robin exhales sadly when he sees me lying on the floor among the darkness of my room. "Raven, I know it's hard. But they need us out there. And we need you with us."
I can't move.
Robin sighs and turns to leave without me.
"Two days." My voice cracks.
He halts, placing his hand on the door frame. His back is towards me, but he turns his head to the side slightly to hear me better. He doesn't say anything.
"Two days since…" I falter. A lump quickly forms in my throat, and I can no longer speak.
Robin's grip on the door frame tightens, and I hear his knuckles crack. "I know. We're all trying to get through this as easy as we can. But-"
"Easy?" I sit up angrily. "This isn't going to be easy, Robin. It will never be easy."
"Raven, I know. It's just-"
"No! Don't you get it? Beast Boy is dead, Robin. He died. Two days ago he was sitting in the common room laughing and making stupid jokes and now he's fucking dead. And here you are at my door asking me to get back out there and act like nothing happened." I'm angry. I'm so angry. Hot tears trickle over my cheeks and I reach up with the edge of my cloak to wipe them away.
Robin is kneeling in front of me now. It's hard to tell in the darkness, but through the flashes of red, I think I can see tears on his cheeks too. He reaches toward me and places one hand on my shoulder. "I'm not asking you to act like nothing happened. None of us are. This is hard for all of us, Raven."
"I just...I can't move. I'm afraid to leave. I'm afraid to walk down the hall and see his empty room. I'm afraid to go to the common room and hear nothing but silence. Robin, I'm too afraid to sleep in my own bed because the pillows and sheets still smell like him. I don't want to move from this spot because I know that the second I leave here, the pain of losing him will never go away." My shoulders are shaking. Robin moves closer and wraps one arm around me, pulling me into him.
"We're all afraid. And we're all here to support each other. But Raven, we can't help you if you won't let us. You have to come out. We're all grieving. Let's at least grieve together."
I lean into Robin's shoulder, and I let my tears flow freely now. He wraps both arms around me now, one hand cradling my head. My body shudders and a loud sob escapes my throat. "This wasn't supposed to happen! We were supposed to be together! He said...he told me…he…"
Robin sits back and looks at me questioningly. I sit up and compose myself, wiping my face and sniffling.
"The day before…" I begin, my voice low and quiet. "The day before he died, Beast Boy told me that he…" I pause, wondering if Robin needs to hear what I'm about to say. I take a deep breath. 'Oh fuck it…'
"He told me that he loved me."
Robin takes in a sharp breath through clenched teeth. "Raven…"
"That night, he spent the night here. With me. We laughed, and we talked, and we…" I smile softly at the memory of that night. "And I love him."
"Raven I'm so-"
"I love him. And now he's gone."
Robin hangs his head. His arms drop from my shoulders and he stands, because he knows there's nothing else he can do for me now. "Raven, I'm so sorry."
I say nothing.
"If you need us, any of us, you know where we'll be."
In the next moment, Robin disappears and soon the alarms throughout the tower cease and my room becomes pitch black again. I lie back down and stare up at the ceiling. Eventually, my eyes flutter shut and I drift into sleep.
And there he is, hovering over me with a goofy smile plastered on his face; that pesky little fang poking out at me. He leans down and presses his forehead against mine. He's leaning on his elbows, his hands placed on either side of my face, fingers gently stroking. Breathing against my lips, he whispers sweet nothings to me.
"I love you, Raven."
And in the darkness, as I lie deep in sleep on the rough carpet of my bedroom floor, a soft smile creeps across my face.
