Disclaimer: I don't own Puella Magi Madoka Magica.
Author's Note: In Episode 8, we're shown around 5 different executions of the same month of Homura's life, each more damaging an outcome then the last. It's unclear exactly how many times Homura's repeated the same month. Ten? A hundred? A thousand, maybe. This is just a single possibility of how another of Homura's repeated months could have occurred. I know these are a dime a dozen anymore, but I love MadoxHomu, so... sue me.
Author's Note 2: I'm going to TRY to use the honorifics this time 'round, but they may not be perfect, so bear with me.
My Love, My Life
Prologue
My eyes sprang awake to the dismal, pale white of the hospital ceiling I've grown so accustomed to in recent months, each time I've failed in my plea to Madoka to protect her... each time she dies a horrible death I couldn't save her from... I find myself back here, trapped in an eternal time-loop from hell. A purgatory of my own making.
I had made the Contract with Kyuubey, that cannot be undone and I know as much. I was a Puella Magi for life, and eventually I would face the same end as all Puella Magi; dead at the hands of a Witch, or succumbing to their taint and joining their ranks. Until that time, however, I'd keep fighting. Each and every one of them... every single Witch, Familiar, or anything that gets in my way, I'd stop.
My mind drifted to the events of the last month, my memories blurred as I remembered shooting Madoka, my best friend's Soul Gem, destroying it and killing her in the process. I pushed the wave of emotions back into my mind, hoping never to access them again. It was too much, for myself or any normal person, to handle. I had become a shell of who I formally was, hard and cold on the outside, with all these mixed emotions I couldn't handle swimming around inside me.
I started school today for the... damn... I can't remember how many times I've done this. I think at last count it was eight, but I can't be sure. The transfer papers were filled out in my neat handwriting, and I felt much better then the previous 'day' by timeline standards. Throwing the cover from my body I hopped out of the bed and walked barefoot across the tile floor to the mirror in the corner. I looked myself over, my long hair falling gently across my back, my hazy purple eyes staring back at me. The only marred feature to this otherwise perfect figure of a girl was the scowl I had plastered almost permanently on my face.
It wouldn't do. I've tried the 'scary transfer student who never smiles' routine before, and it just ended with Sayaka turning into a Witch, and Mami loosing her damned mind, killing Kyoko. No... this time would be different... it HAD to be different. Closing my eyes and inhaling, I forced myself to smile to the mirror, and upon opening my eyes, found an image of exactly what it looked like. A cross girl forcing herself to smile. I dropped the fake emotion and thought. If I could correct my vision problems with my Soul Gem... maybe I could...
The ring around my finger turned into a small, purple egg-shaped object at my mental command, ready for whatever I had planned for it. I tried to think about Madoka, what kind of person she was, and what kind of people she associates with. She had two friends in Hitomi and Sayaka, both very friendly and outgoing, but weren't afraid to tell you what they thought of you. Placing my Soul Gem to my forehead and closing my eyes, I thought about it for a moment and felt a jolt surge through my spine, causing me to shiver. My Soul Gem returned to it's ring state as I opened my eyes to find a completely different Homura staring back at me. My usual droll expression was replaced with one that reminded me of my previous self, a sweet smile hanging on my lips both soothing and natural. My eyes were open fully, a change from my half-sleeping half-bored look I usually wore. My grin widened as my mind thought how satisfying the ability to change my visage to an extent at will. Today would harold a different outcome to the previous time lines.
"Oh! Ms. Akemi, you're awake!" The voice of a nurse reached my ear from the door. "You're awfully spry today, are you feeling better?" I gave a nod and a little laugh.
"Yes, thank you. I feel... like today's going to be the best day ever." The nurse returned both my smile and my laugh, happy that I was both awake and smiling.
"Are you ready for your first day at Mitakihara Academy today?" I nodded again, ready to try my meeting with Madoka for the gods knows how many'th time. "Glad to hear it! Usually when people have been out as long as you have, they tend to be a little shy around other people, but you seem quite confident of yourself. Here, follow me down to the lobby and we'll get you checked out, and your stuff loaded into a taxi for you." I bowed and followed the nurse to the front desk, ready for my discharge.
It had been like a broken record, played over in my head every time, dismissal from the hospital, a ten minute taxi ride to school, a few minutes of sitting in awkward silence for the teacher to introduce me to the class, followed by my faithful meeting with Madoka. Something about this reiteration of the same events, however, felt decidedly different to me. I couldn't quite place my finger on what exactly it was that made this particular time line so alien to me then the others, but I figured whatever if was would make itself known shortly. As I traveled through history, repeating the same month, I had noticed little differences in people and event time lines. For instance, when I first met Madoka, MY Madoka from my time line, she had been a Puella Magi for a week. The one after that, six days. The one after that, three. How much longer before I catch her before she even makes a contract?
My thoughts were disrupted by the teacher's all-too well known beginning introduction. "Class, today we have a transferr student I'd like you to welcome." She paused at this as I took my place before the white board and smiled cutely for everyone assembled. "This is Homura Akemi, she's spent the last six months in the hospital due to a heart condition, so I'd like you to be extra nice to her." She looked to me as I gave a smile to her, thanking her for the welcome introduction. "I've already told the school nurse about your condition, and he's got your medication there, so if you need to be shown where the infirmary is, speak to Madoka Kaname, she's our class's Health Representative, so get with her if you need to go." I gave a low, respectful bow to our Teacher. Quickly scanning the available seats, I found the one that had been empty every time I've come back here, the row one to Madoka's right, and right at the front of the class. Setting my small bag on the hook by the chair, I took the seat and slowly waited for class to begin.
The teacher had begun every lecture as she always did, a poor euphemism for love scrawled on the white board, an attempt to both tell us how we should allow love to govern us, and to make herself feel better for whatever fealties she believed she had. As class wound to a close, I began to dread this next part... and everything that came with it.
"Akemi-san!" A girl behind me called, rushing up behind me. "What school did you go to before? Where you in any clubs?" Before this sentence was finished, another girl had sidled up behind me to continue to train of thought. "A sports one? Or maybe arts!" Two more appeared from my peripherals and swarmed me. "Oh, Akemi-san you're hair is so long! It must be a pain to brush it every morning!" At about this time, before I finally decided to answer any of them, a pink-haired girl pushed her way past all the girls and cut in almost right away.
"Now, now, girls. Let's not crowed Akemi-san." She pushed them aside and smiled to me. "Sorry about that, they're just really excited about having a new transfer student today. They're rather rare these days." She stuck her hand out to me with a confidence in her actions. "Madoka Kaname. As the teacher said, I'm the Health Representative for the class. I heard you need to go and see the nurse about your medication, and I figured you didn't know where it was. Here, let me show you." I shook her hand courteously as the girl continued to hold it as she slowly pulled me up.
"Thank you..." I answered, despite knowing full well where the nurse's office was (I'd been there god knows how many times already) I took the offered hand and stood. She walked beside me, holding my hand gently, but with a powerful aura about her, as if this was the only important thing she's ever been trusted with. She kept a grip on my hand, vastly different from when the Madoka of my time line first walked me to the Nurse's office.
"I didn't know Puella Magi could get heart conditions." She finally spoke as we left the class, walking freely amongst the students, the din of their everyday lives drowning out our conversation for all but us. I nodded, somewhat relieved to know she knew OF the Puella Magi. If luck served, she hasn't become one. "Are you new as well?" She asked again, my heart sinking. 'As well'. It was indeed as I feared, she had become one already.
"You could say that." I answered quietly, her hand still entwined with mine. "How long have you been one?" I asked, trying to make for passable conversation. She giggled at my question and smiled.
"Oh, I'm not. I have a friend who is, though." Sayaka... much different from last time. "Well, a couple friends, actually, but I just met one of my friends yesterday." Most likely Mami was the 'just met' friend. The burden my heart held after hearing those words lifted. She might be saved yet. "So... if you don't mind me asking, what was your wish?" Talkative in this time line, wasn't she? I paused for a moment, trying to word this properly without seeming weird, or worse, a time-traveller.
"I wanted to see someone very close to me again... to protect them from harm... to bring them back..." That was about as close as I could get to the truth, and still have it be a lie. Madoka heaved a little at this, sighing.
"Wo-ow, Akemi-san..." She mused. "You risked your soul to return someone to life?" I gave a nod. "Did... it come true?" I gave another nod. "Wow... whoever this person is must be awfully special to you..."
"They are. I..." I paused for a moment, seeing if this was the right time. "I love them, I suppose you could say."
"Lucky guy..." She mused again, looking almost depressed. "I wish someone would be willing to make that kind of sacrifice for me..." Oh, Madoka... how little you knew.
"Can I..." I hope this wasn't too soon. "Can I call you Madoka?" She nodded and gave a happy sound.
"Only if I can call you Homura." I laughed and nodded to this. After all, it would be weird for two friends as close as us to be referring to each other by our last names. "Good! I was gonna do it anyway... it's such a cool name..." Her mind drifted off again as we arrived at the Nurse's office. "So... what's your power? If I can ask." I gave a crass smirk and flourished my hair with my unoccupied hand.
"Due time, Madoka. Due time." Bit of a play on words, but it was one that flew over the girl's head. She just seemed more enthralled by the mystery. Bidding the girl farewell for now, I entered the nurse's office and proceeded to pretend to take the pills I was supposed to, instead of swallowing them, I tucked them in my hand, between my fingers, hiding them until I was out of the office. Dumping the pills into the nearest trash can, I proceeded towards the club activities, deciding to settle on the 'not fabulous, but pretty good' athletic student, as not to draw too much attention. I kept pace with the rest of the class during track, and managed to not exhaust myself too quickly (A feat made much easier by the whole 'body being just a vessel, a useless shell without the soul' thing Kyuubey was so nice to keep from us.)
The rest of class passed with little interference from anything, and after school found me sitting down to tea with Madoka and her two friends, Sayaka and Mami, both of which I had met countless times before across equally countless time lines. Mami listened to Madoka's description of our meeting while twirling the little tea spoon silently in her cup After she finished the story, Mami gave her trademark tick of her head, followed by taking a little sip of her tea.
"So... you're a Puella Magi as well, are you?" I nodded, taking a small bite of the cake she had given us. I've had this cake god knows how many times, and it never gets old. "Interesting. Kyubey never told me about another in this city. Are you, perhaps from a different city?" My mind clicked a few times before I answered.
"Yes... I moved here not too long ago..."
"And the 'heart condition' thing?" Madoka chimed in, taking a sip from her own cup.
"I was hospitalized for a while, before I became a Puella Magi. I just had to finish the stay."
"Why didn't you just wish yourself out? Felt like the easy way out." Mami chimed in. That's right... Mami's wish was to save herself from death, so it would have been possible to have simply wished myself well. Provided, of course, I didn't have someone more important to save.
"I would have... but there was someone more important then myself I had to save."
"Ah, yes, this mysterious person who's so important to you, you'd risk your soul to save them. You must tell me more about him." I shifted uncomfortably where I sat, my knees tapping against the cushion silently. I wasn't sure how far into this conversation I wanted to go, but I suppose if I was going to save them, I'd have to be a little open with them.
"Well... They're my best friend... I've known them for... a while. They're always so nice to me, and they always protected me. I just... wanted to return the favor."
"Were they in the hospital, too?" Sayaka chimed in. "I might have seen them."
"No... no, they... died... a while ago... my wish was to save them..."
"Wow! I didn't know you could bring someone back to life with a wish!" Madoka smiled, probably thinking of the possibilities.
"You can't." Came the droll, too-cheerful voice of Kyubey, the unmistakable visage appearing in Mami's window. "We can fufill many wishes, but even the secrets of returning someone from the grave is beyond us. Whatever your wish was, Akemi Homura... it was not one of revival."
"Kyubey..." Mami muttered, pushing him away. "Don't interrupt. Just because YOU can't bring someone back, doesn't mean another can't."
"A very good argument, Tomoe Mami..." Kyubey muttered, his face almost twitching into a wider smile then normal. "...One that would hold more weight if I was not the only one of my people stationed on this planet." Mami, Sayaka and Madoka all turned to face me, with a look of both disbelief and shock.