Hey all! I just wanted to say thank you to those of you who reviewed and or added my first Glee story "Rambling" to your favorites! It really put a smile on my face, and encouraged me to try another! So this time, the story is kinda told in Finn's perspective...it's not really that great but I still like it...I had the idea while listening to the Glee version of "No Air" (hence the title)...I really like getting into Finn's head- it's both fun and quite a challenge :) This will probably be a two parter, since I'm already working on the second part....please review and tell me what you think! Reviews inspire me to write more, and your reviews encourage me to use my free time to write, which ultimately means faster updates for you! So please review? 83
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No Air
He can hardly believe how excited he is...about school. School of all things. He never liked school that much, too much work, too much pressure...and yet here he is, walking down the hallways, a small yet confident grin on his face. He's not sure what's up...maybe it's just that he's anxious for Glee club to start.
Since Mr. Schuester ran out the other day, this will be their first official rehearsal since their big win at Sectionals...He can hardly wait. Now that they've proven that they've got what it takes to win, no matter what the circumstances, rehearsals might be a little less stressful. That's what he'd like, at least...Football practice is tense enough, it'd be nice to be part of a club where the members aren't constantly at each other's throats. Not that things wouldn't still be a little awkward, what with Quinn and Puck, and the baby that he still can't believe isn't his.
The baby...Finn's really not sure how to feel about her...Don't get him wrong. He's still really, really upset that his best friend would even THINK to sleep with his girlfriend...and it really pisses him off that she led him on to believe it was his child (she loaded so much unnecessary stress onto his shoulders it's a miracle he didn't go insane)...
No, he's more pissed at himself, for BELIEVING her story...C'mon, a hot tub?!..What was he thinking?! He really is dumb sometimes...but, he can't help it. Quinn was his girlfriend and he TRUSTED her...he had no reason not to when she said it was his kid...Still, he guesses he could have googled it...but he chose to be the trusting naive boyfriend instead...This is as much his fault as it is hers. Well, not really, but still, he could have gotten out of the situation long ago if he'd done research...something he's never been great at.
He remembers when he and Rachel Berry were partnered up for some project (he never cared much so he forgot what class)...She was willing to do the research and pretty much everything else, so he let her. At the time, he'd thought she was just helping him out, like a friend would do..but he'd come to realize her reasons for helping him ran deeper than friendship. Rachel may be an amazingly talented actress and performer...but he could always tell she was in love with him...It was hard to miss, from the way she looked at him during Glee rehearsals.
It had freaked him out in the beginning, to be honest, the way she watched him, stalking closer to him when they'd been singing that Grease song...but over time, he'd gotten used to her antics, and was surprised to catch himself staring back at her. Had he known at the time what Quinn was doing behind his back, he might not have felt as...guilty.
Finn shakes his head a little, to clear his mind of all these thoughts. They're just making him feel depressed, and that's not how he wants to feel...He's happy right now, and he wants to stay that way, even if it only lasts until he gets into the choir room, and sees them sitting together. He has a feeling if he sees that it'll be tough for him to remain in the same room...but...
His smile widens slightly. At least Rachel will be there...If nothing else, she's always there to comfort him. Rachel, his best buddy, his shoulder to cry on...Sadly, he's having a hard time seeing her as just that these days...not that he's ashamed of it...he's known there was something between them ever since the first time they kissed, in the auditorium..but he couldn't do anything about it at the time.
Now he can...and he plans to...He just doesn't know when..maybe after Glee or during, even...He's not sure, but he has a feeling that if they have to sing another duet together, he won't be able to hold back anymore. Which would be kinda embarrassing, with the other Gleeclubbers, and Mr. Schue watching (as well as Ms. Pillsbury, who seems to be spending a LOT of time with Mr. Schue and them lately)..but he doesn't really care. If it happens, it happens...
He doesn't have anymore time to think about it, though, because he's reached the door now. Finn takes a deep breath before turning the door handle and walking into the room, flashing a small smile at everyone else who's there. He's surprised, and secretly disappointed, however, because he doesn't see Rachel in the group. This is just plain weird, because she usually makes a point to be on time, early even. She once told him, "Tardiness is never a good thing if you want people to take you seriously." Yet here she is, late...Well, not completely late. Mr. Schue isn't here yet so Glee club hasn't officially started for the day.
He heaves a slight sigh and plops himself down in one of the two empty seats, trying hard to ignore Quinn and Puck, who seem to be getting along somewhat well today. He can't help but wonder if they're dating now...especially since Quinn moved out of his house and into Puck's, despite how disappointed his Mother was with him for not getting with a Jewish girl.
Finn shakes his head again. He has to snap out of it, stop paying attention to them! In order to distract himself, he glances around the room. He sees Tina, gazing longingly at Artie, who seems to be purposely avoiding even looking at her. What happened there?
He shrugs slightly and looks away. Mercedes and Kurt are locked deep in a hushed conversation, but he can hear Kurt's feminine voice buzzing on and on about this new sweater that he just has to get, because it's a certain style, and some famous queen wore it...and...
Finn feels his head starting to spin, so he stops listening in and glances down at his feet. They're cool and all, clad in...shoes...of some brand he never paid attention to since it was considered girly to know the brand of your shoes...He sighs. This is boring. Where's Rachel? Right about now, she'd be in the room, talking his ear off about some Broadway classic, or something along those lines. Even though he knows very little about the classics, he always loves hearing her talk...The way she gets all excited about everything, and her face lights up animatedly when she talks...It makes him feel warm inside..and happy. God, he sounds pathetic. He just saw her yesterday, and here he is missing her like she's been gone for a week! Pathetic!
He can't help it though...she's really special to him...He just never really realized HOW special until she came up and told him what nobody else had the courage to. He realizes she probably had some other intention behind telling him the baby wasn't his, but just the fact that she had the heart to tell him goes a long way with him. That and the way she began the whole thing with "When you care about someone, you can't sit around and watch them suffer when you know that you can do something about it"...
He knows for a fact she had his best interests in mind, before her own...No matter what she says. It kills him that she feels guilty for telling him (he overheard that from one of Kurt and Mercede's gossip sessions...so he's not 100% sure it's true, but he kinda believes it)...He's like, eternally grateful to her for telling him! It's freed him up to live his life the way he wants it...and....he's going to take a step towards doing just that soon.
He grins, as he notices that aside from Mr. Schue's seat, and the spinning chair Ms. Pillsbury uses, the only empty seat is the one beside him. It seems luck is on his side after all. Especially now that she's here.
He grins, wider than necessary as Rachel Berry walks through the door, in all her argyle and plaid glory. A frown is on her face, and he finds himself wishing he could wipe it away, back into a smile. He loves her smile...it makes him happy...It's strange, but she seems to have this indescribable control over his emotions nowadays. If she's happy, he's on cloud nine...but if she's sad, he feels like he's out in the pouring rain...and right now, her frown is doing just that.
He feels sad and bitter, and for once it's not anything to do with Puck or Quinn...He's guessing it has to do with that note she's holding in her hand. Whatever is on that simple sheet of paper...it's causing her to look very upset, and he in turn feels the same way...it feels even worse than the combination of losing the football game and getting dumped in the same day. What is on that stupid sheet of paper?!
He notices she hasn't even said hi to him, or looked in his direction, which is odd for her, and he feels slightly panicked. Could that note have something to do with him? She's being so...evasive...He decides to take the bull by the horns and speak first for once. "Hey, Rach, you just made it...Mr. Schue's not here yet."
She glances over at him and her frown worsens, causing him to feel like he's been kicked in the stomach as she quickly averts her gaze.
"Rachel?" Quinn looks up, catching Finn's shocked stare. Since when does she call her by her actual name? ..She must be trying to help him...which he appreciates, but he's not ready to forgive Quinn yet.
He notices she's glanced up now, and is looking over at them all.
"Hey, Rach? I saved you a seat." He motions to the empty chair beside him and flashes her what he hopes is a friendly smile. To his dismay, Rachel doesn't say anything, doesn't even look at him, as she slumps her shoulders and places the folded up piece of paper on top of the piano. Then, she exits the choir room in a quick, orderly fashion, not even bothering to say goodbye, or look at him, once more.
"Daaaaang, what'd you do to her?!" Mercedes demands, momentarily distracted from her talk with Kurt.
Finn looks up quickly, surprised to see that she's giving him a curious, yet accusatory look. "N-nothing...at least I don't think.." He frowns, shifting his gaze to the floor.
He's left with an empty feeling in his chest, and that kicked in the stomach feeling is getting worse, like he's being kicked repeatedly now. Why didn't she say anything? She wasn't even able to look at him...Did he do something wrong? Why won't she talk to him?! It's really bothering him...and now he feels like a loser. A big one.
Of all the times for her to be so evasive, it had to be the one day he was going to try and confront her, confront himself, his feelings for her...Could it maybe be a sign? Maybe, that he's not supposed to be with her? So much for luck being on his side.
He has this burning desire suddenly. He's got to know. What does that note say? It's sitting there, on the piano, and he swears it's mocking him. Mocking him because Rachel obviously only came to drop it off for Mr. Schue...she had no intention whatsoever of talking to him or anyone else.
He's sure Mr. Schue won't mind if he just takes a peek inside...Just one tiny peek. That should be enough to satisfy his curiosity, and hopefully explain Rachel's odd behavior...and it'll tell him if he's the reason behind her giving everyone in Glee the silent treatment.
He's just about to get up from his seat when the door opens and in walks Mr. Schuester, accompanied by the red headed guidance counselor, Ms. Pillsbury. She's here so much lately, he's wondering if they're not dating....but...Mr. Schue has a wife, right?...whatever. It's none of his business.
"Hey, guys, great to see you're all on ti-" Mr. Schuester breaks off and visibly tenses up slightly. "Where's Rachel?"
"She was here, but she left." Tina speaks up.
"Uh, she left a note for you, on the piano, Mr. Schue." Finn says quickly.
"Thanks, Finn." Mr. Schuester nods and walks over, picking up the neatly folded sheet of paper and unfolding it, reading its contents. After he finishes, he lets out a low whistle and shakes his head, his expression a mix between looking somewhat amused and slightly worried.
Finn's not sure why, but he finds himself waiting anxiously. Waiting for Mr. Schue to tell them the reason for the diva's shunning them this time. For him to say something that doesn't involve him, so he can stop thinking Rachel's refusal to stay is his fault. Waiting...He can't help the fact that a part of him is also waiting, hoping, for her to walk back through the door again, to come and sit beside him with that contagious grin on her face as she looks at him sweetly and breathes his name.
At long last the teacher speaks, but it's not what Finn wants to hear. "Ok, let's get to work, guys...Finn, Mercedes, please come here..."
Feeling slightly confused, Finn does as he's told, and before he knows what's going on, Mr. Schuester has handed him and Mercedes each their own sheet music, and he's beckoning them to begin singing. He frowns at the teacher, feeling betrayed. He's not supposed to sing with Mercedes, he's supposed to sing with Rachel!
There's so much magic when their two voices join together, and as much as he's trying, he just isn't feeling the emotion of the words he's singing to Merecedes and clearly from the look on her face, she's bored, unenthused to be singing with him. He should feel insulted by that, but in a way, he feels relieved, cause this means she won't get mad at him.
He stops singing and Mr. Schuester frowns at him. "What's the matter, Finn? Is something wrong?"
"Y-yeah..." Finn shuffles his feet nervously. "I'm sorry, Mr. Schue, Mercedes is really good and all, but I just can't..."
"He can't sing it." Kurt's soprano voice rings out, finishing his sentence for him. "Not without Rachel."
Finn can feel himself blushing a little now. Was it really that obvious that he missed singing with Rachel? Also, he's not positive, but Kurt sounded just a little bitter when he said that, about him not being able to sing the song without Rachel.
"Is that true, Finn?"
The quarterback gives a sheepish grin and nods his head slowly, looking down at his shoes which are suddenly very interesting to him. "Mercedes sings really good..but...I..." He breaks off, not sure how to say it like he hears it in his head.
"It's ok, Finn." Mr. Schuester cuts him off, giving him an understanding look. "I know until now I've only ever had you and Rachel sing together..so this is new to you...but you have to at least try..because Rachel's not coming today.."
"Wh-why..?" Finn asks, then wants to smack himself for sounding so devastated. Really...he sounds pathetic. So what if Rachel's not showing today? It's ok...really, it will be! His brain needs to shut up, it's telling him otherwise...because he's still afraid she's avoiding Glee because of HIM..
But then, God has mercy on him, and Mr. Schue says exactly what he needs to hear...well not the exact thing he had in mind, but either way it assures him that Rachel's absence isn't his fault.
"Because...Rachel has laryngitis."