"Hi there people, and welcome to...to...Ed!"
Edward Elric snapped awake, looking around. "What?"
"Brother, the sequel is starting." Alphonse Elric whispered next to him.
"It is? About freaking time." Ed grumbled under his breath.
"I'll take it from here." said Amaya Illusion, who was on his other side. "Hi people, welcome to the sequel to 'You People Are Joking, Right?', so if you haven't read that fic first, then you probably should."
"Who would be stupid enough to read a sequel without reading the first fic?" Ed asked.
"Plenty of people. Now, let's move on to the sequel!" Amaya said cheerfully.
"Uh...actually, I kind of forgot what was going on..." Ed muttered.
"...YOU FORGOT!?"
"Ah! There's no reason to be shouting, Amaya!" Al pleaded.
"YOU HAD A MONTH AND A HALF TO KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON!"
"Sorry, but we were vacationing! I forgot about the storyline during it!" Ed said, slowly backing away from the fuming Amaya.
"Hey, that reminds me, remember those places we went to during our vacation?" Al asked, hoping for a change of conversation. This seemed to snap Amaya out of her momentary rage.
"Oh yeah! I remember now! Remember when we decided to visit the animes that won't be featured in this fic?" she laughed.
"Good thing too, otherwise I could imagine myself cos-playing like that one girl with long blond hair, uses costume jewelry as a weapon, and listen to a talking cat...", Ed breathed a sigh of relief.
"Lord knows you have the hair for it! But don't worry, I promise not to make you cosplay in a school girl uniform ever again." Amaya promised. Ed narrowed his eyes at her.
"You promise?"
There was a slight pause. "Of course!"
"Amaya?"
"Yes?"
"Uncross your fingers from behind your back."
"Damn!" she swore before turning back forward. "To prevent spoiling the rest of the fic, we should probably shut up now. And now, we better tell you a little thing about what's in this fic."
"Like what?" Al asked, as if he was reading from a prompter. Actually he was, but that's not important.
"For starters, this is a rated T fic. So all the people here for the slash might as well leave, 'cause it 'aint happenin'.", she said, pointing toward the door. "However, there will be plenty of yaoi and yuri jokes aplenty, so if you're here just for the humor of it, then you can stay."
"Secondly, please don't complain if an anime, videogame, movie, or book you like doesn't show up in this fic. It's all based on animes, books, and games that the author has actually heard of, seen, read, or played." Ed said. "However, you can suggest certain animes, videogames, movies, and books that you would like to appear and we'll see what we can do."
"Thirdly, don't complain if you don't like whatever anime, videogame, or book is featured, or hate us for certain things said against shippings and what not. It's a joke. Get a sense of humor. I suggest stealing one from Dan Cook; lord knows he shouldn't have one." Amaya said darkly. (AN: Sorry, not a big fan of Dan Cook)
"Finally, some of the jokes made might be based off of fanfics that we have read, but we are not singling out someone for a bad fanfic. It's for all fanfics in general of that kind. So don't get all offended or something, because we're making fun of everyone. We don't discriminate." Ed pointed out.
"Now we must warn you, this fic will contain your basic tomfoolery, plenty of lying, exchange students, a fake eye, character origin flashbacks, possession, cross dressing-"
"Hey, you promised that you wouldn't-"
"-an unknown prophecy, broken hearts, shifting shadows, show stopping musical numbers, shameless advertising, dysfunctional people, and of course, plenty of crack.", Amaya finished, acting like she had never been interrupted.
"Now, if you dare...move on to the beginning of Crossover Into What Exactly...if you dare!" Ed said and then started to move his hands in a spooky overdone fashion. As the lights dimmed, Ed whispered to Amaya.
"By the way, why is this fic also a Sci-Fi fic?"
"Because of the whole time travel dimension plot."
"Oh yeah."
Al turned away from them and looked at the prompter. "Your mother crossovers in hell?"
Amaya and Ed gasped. "Al!"
"Sorry! I meant, please leave a review at the end! And we don't own Full Metal Alchemist or any other animes, videogames, books, movies, etc. in this fic!"
Illusion Studios Presents...
A Night Rain Illusion production
Directed by Night Rain Illusion
Script written by underpaid writers in Detroit
Produced by Envy The Executive Homunculi
Special Effects by Itachi Uchiha and Yami Bakura because they owed me money
Maniacal Laughs done by Mephiles the Dark, the only Sonic villain who actually succeeded in what Eggman could never do and was voiced by Dan Green, who does, like, the best evil laughs ever. And Mephiles is one sexy malicious beast. If he was real, I would want his babies...what? Something I said?
Camera work done by some guy no one could remember the name of...Steve, right?
Props provided by Carrot Top
Music provided by Disney because any book or movie (or in this case, fanfiction) in the United States has to have at least one Disney song in it, the bastards...
Coffee provided by some delivery guy from Starbucks
Endorsed by the Coca Cola company because the author drinks too much Coke for it to be considered healthy
Voices were done as themselves, except for Amaya who, to her dismay, had her voice done similarly to Lindsey Lohan. She is currently suing us.
Lawyers provided by Satan, Lord of Hell
Procrastinators United Who Like To Waste Time Writing Stupid Things Like The Above Brings You
Crossover Into What Exactly?
(Sequel to You People Are Joking, Right?)
"So guys, are you ready to crossover?"
Ed nodded. "Yeah, since I had a month and a half to think about it.", he said as all three of them stepped through the large doors of the gate.
Ed: That's odd
Amaya: What is?
Ed: I'm surprised you didn't open this with some character origin flashback or a flashback about what happened in the last fic.
Amaya: Well for one, character origin flashbacks shouldn't be done until about ten chapters into the fic, and secondly it's the readers own damn fault if they didn't read the first fic. Now stop interrupting the story already!
It was the strangest sensation. There were absolutely no black creatures at all. It was still the bright yellow from outside the gate, except that there was a light far off from them in the distance. As the trio walked, images flew past of them. Some were of little farming communities that suddenly turned into skyscrapers, oceans and deserts, and forests that stretched for miles. Some were pictures of the human brain, scales of the human anatomy, the solar system, and for some reason, one of Courage the Cowardly Dog.
"What is all this?" Al asked.
"The dimension hole is absorbing pieces of information into itself so that it will be available to those who travel through it. Because of this, the information it latches onto help create access points so that you can go to that dimension." Amaya explained, pausing for a moment to watch a picture of a grasshopper drinking tea went by. Amaya suddenly reached out and snatched the picture of the grasshopper and stuffed it into her pocket.
"Why did you do that?" Ed asked.
"Because I love British grasshoppers." Amaya explained simply.
"But..."
"British!"
"Alright, sorry.", Ed said, no longer wanting to know what Amaya was going to do with a picture of a cartoon British grasshopper wearing a black petticoat and drinking tea.
"So where are we going first?" Al asked.
"Well, I'm still thinking about that." she said, looking around at the empty expanse around them.
"I just thought about something. What about the colonel, the homunculi, and all those other people no one cares about that we left behind?" Ed asked, looking behind them as if expecting Roy and Envy to suddenly pop out from behind a picture of a cow doing a saucy tango. And maybe wearing hoop skirts. And then Armstrong doing a salsa-
Let's just say that Ed's imagination is too wild to describe.
"Who knows, they're most likely still in your dimension. But they'll be fine, so don't worry about it.", Amaya said with a wave of the hand.
They walked silently for several minutes before Amaya suddenly stopped.
"Yeah, here should be fine." she said after a moment.
"Fine for what?"
"The next access point. Now I must warn that this particular place might take a year before we can leave again."
"A year?" Ed asked incredulously.
"Don't worry about it though, because when we leave, it will feel like no time has passed." she said. Amaya put a hand in front of her and muttered, "Activate access point H"
A small touch screen appeared in front of them. The numbers 1-7 were on it.
"Hmm...I don't want to go in too early, and going straight into the end would be pointless. So 5 should do it.", Amaya muttered to herself before selecting the 5th number, "And besides, if we need to, then we'll go into the last one."
If you didn't understand a word she just said, then don't worry, you're not the only ones either, because Ed and Al had giant question marks looming over their head.
"What the hell were you speaking, French?" Ed asked.
"Italian actually."
"What?"
"It's a joke Ed."
"So what are you doing?"
"Picking which part of the fandom we should go into. Now, you can't tell anyone where we are from. We are to act like we are from this realm." Amaya said crossly.
"Don't worry, we won't tell anyone about this." Al promised.
"Can someone please tell me where the hell we are going?" Ed fumed.
"The most common crossover of them all." Amaya smirked as she hit the OK button. The scenery around them suddenly shifted. The yellow empty place was replaced with tall brown walls with paintings on them. In front of them stood two double oak doors that went straight up to the ceiling. Red, green, blue, and yellow banners hung from the walls over large hourglasses nearby that had colored pebbles in them. If Ed didn't know any better, they were standing in the entrance hall of a huge castle.
"Welcome...to Hogwarts." Amaya said as she pushed open the two double oak doors.
Not bad if I say so myself. (Ed: Did we actually do anything!?)
If you wish for a Full Metal Alchemist character like Roy or Envy to make an appearance, then leave a review!
And now, let's get ready for some Harry Potter bashing!
A word from the cast-
Ed: It's October 17th, but for the more oblivious people, it's actually been one year since Night Rain started "You People Are Joking, Right?"
Al: We've taken you on a lot of crazy adventures and we're happy to keep you entertained for another whole year, or how ever long it takes to finish this series.
Amaya: We should throw a party, but no one actually cares if a fic has been around for a whole year, and besides the fact that Envy drank all the booze.
Envy: -drunkly singing- Buttercup, don't break my heart! -hiccups and passes out on the floor-
R&R everyone!