HOW TO ANNOY ERAGON WHEN YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH HIS TIGHT LEATHER PANTS.
Just some light hearted fun in the style of kosmos607. Rating this as M as some of the stuff here is a little adult. It would help if you've read the books as well as seen the movie.
Eragon is the property of Christopher Paolini and I hope that if he ever reads this I hope that he gets the joke.
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Tell him Durza thinks he looks hot in those tight leather pants.
Tell him Brom said that Roran was tighter and more fun, and would look much better in those tight leather pants.
Tell him Arya thinks he looks like a pansy in those tight leather pants.
Tell him even Sloan the butcher could have made that shot at the deer, and thinks he would look hotter in those tight leather pants.
Tell him Galbatorix thinks he looks hot in those tight leather pants and couldn't give a stuff about Saphira, he just wants those pants for himself so that he will be the hottest looking fairy in the land.
Next time he passes out from using magic, have "Durza's Bouncy Castle" tattooed across his butt, after whipping off his tight leather pants.
Tell him the Urgals think he looks hot in those leather pants and that they aren't trying to kill him, they just want to shag him insensible!
Yell loudly from down the street that the Urgals said he was fun, but they've had better, then run just so you can watch him try and run in those tight leather pants.
Take Saphira aside with your backs to Eragon, whisper loudly, point at his tight leather pants and giggle.
Tell him Nasuada reckons he looks like a poser in those tight leather pants.
Tell him Ajihad thought his tight leather pants were a strange skin disease until Nasuada pointed out his mistake, then said he wanted to rip those tight leather pants off that bubble butt and shag him senseless.
Tell him the dwarves want his tight leather pants for a tent.
Tell him Arya humps Durza because she reckons he's a real man and would look better in those tight leather pants!
Tell him the Raz'ac reckon he looks hot in those tight leather pants but they would look hotter!
After the elves transform him, talk loudly to his friends about how you think his face lift is crooked and they should have tightened his leather pants while they were at it.
Tell him Saphira calls him "Fairy McClairy" because of his tight leather pants.
Tell him my mate kosmos607 and I call his tight leather pants the "Mary Sue Magnets"
Point over his shoulder and scream "Oh my God! A mob of Mary Sue's" and run so you can see him try and run is his tight leather pants.
Tell him Pogue Parry would look even hotter in those tight leather pants.
Tell him Saphira only likes him for his tight leather pants.
Tell him Lord Voldemort wants a cross over story written so he can get a look at those tight leather pants.
Tell him Murtagh thinks he "looks alright I guess" in his tight leather pants, then tell him Murtagh is way hotter in his tight leather pants.
Tell him the play fight scene with Roran was only filmed so that we could get lots of gratuitous close up shots of his bubble butt in those tight leather pants.
Oh yeah and tell him Roran's bubble butt looks way hotter in his tight cotton pants.
Tell him those tight leather pants looked hot at the start of the movie, but by the end he looked like the saggy back end of a wrinkly old elephant.
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A/N Ok, I'm obsessed with Eragon's tight leather pants. Hope you enjoy this and that I'm not the only one obsessed with Eragon's tight leather pants. Review and let me know if you enjoyed or if I'm just a sad obsessive sod. (Nice bit of alliteration eh!)